The Best of You

Have you ever felt isolated because you can't open up to others?Do you worry that showing vulnerability might lead to more hurt?You are in for such a special treat today. This is such an honest, incredibly real conversation about the risks of vulnerability, the hurts that come from letting others in AND the incredible opportunities for intimacy, connection, and healing when we do.My dear friends, Kathy Tuan-MacLean and Tara Edelschick, authors of the new Bible study experience, "Moms at the Well," surveyed over seven hundred moms and discovered most women struggle with worry, anger, comparison, escapism, a desire for control, and heartbreak. Yet most women feel alone in these struggles. If you've ever felt lonely or skeptical about finding community with other women, this episode is for you. Here's what we cover:* The dissonance we feel about vulnerability (2:21)* How 1 marriage crisis launched a 20 year small group (11:28)* 2 essential ingredients to safeguard trust (16:00)* How they dealt with gossip (21:50)* Strategies for dealing with hurt feelings, ruptures & repair (24:38)* One shocking result from their survey (34:43)* The strategy Alison used to find a friend when lonely (43:35)* The one thing that kills group trust (48:43)For 20% off + free shipping for Moms at the Well, use code IVPPOD20 hereFind a full transcript and list of resources from this episode hereRelated Episodes:Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave GossipEpisode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In DysfunctionEpisode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy GoffEpisode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From DadvilleThanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We don't want to gossip, but most of us do it. What if gossip actually plays a deeper role in our lives and relationships? So often in life we bump into "grey areas," areas that can stir up dissonance inside of us. We hold certain beliefs or values, yet we find ourselves acting in ways that are contrary to those values.In this series, we're exploring some of these areas that can bring up dissonance inside. Our focus today is gossip. I explore the problems with gossip, as well as some of the surprising research on how it can be constructive. By examining both the positive and negative aspects of gossip, you'll feel empowered to name, frame, and brave a healthier understanding of gossip in your life and relationships. Why gossip is a gray area (3:09) What the Bible says about gossip (6:42) What psychology research says about gossip (12:46) 6 motivations behind gossip (13:43) Constructive vs. destructive forms of gossip (21:40) How to Name, Frame, and Brave gossip in your own life (29:17) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Related Episodes:Episode 102: I Shouldn’t Feel Conflicted About God—How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & GodEpisode 96: Signs of Emotional Immaturity & How to Bring Emotional Health Into Your RelationshipsEpisode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource YourselfThanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU.Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel distant from God?Do you struggle with conflicting emotions or unanswered questions that make it hard to feel God's presence in your life?Today's episode brings the 🔥🔥🔥. I'm passionate about naming the false guilt and counterfeit messages that keep us from a vibrant relationship with God.So often we try to shove complicated feelings aside or manipulate ourselves into feeling what we think we “should” feel in our faith. It doesn't work. The good news is that as with any relationship, when you name and frame what you're feeling honestly, you invest in a deeper, more authentic relationship with God. Here’s what we cover…1. The problem with spiritual bypassing (7:36)2. 6 counterfeit messages we internalize about God (19:34)3. 5 framing questions to help you transform those messages (24:23)4. Specific examples of braving steps you can take in your spiritual life (26:51)5. My personal experience with spiritual dissonance (31:44)Today's episode is based on an excerpt from Chapter 11 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way, available everywhere books are sold.Find a list of resources from this episode here.Bonus Episode: Aundi Kolber & Dr. Alison on Writing & Launching BooksThanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off!Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU.Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Book Launch day! Today I Shouldn't Feel This Way is out in the world AND it's the two-year anniversary of The Best of You Podcast . To celebrate, I asked my friend, fellow therapist, and author, Aundi Kolber, to join me for a special bonus episode! Join us as we share insights into why we started writing, what we keep private vs. what we share publicly, and how to navigate the publishing industry.Pick up your copy of I Shouldn't Feel This Way today!Get Aundi's Strong Like Water Guided Journey today!Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you navigate anger in your family?What do you do when a parent who was supposed to love you and keep you safe actually caused you harm? Families evoke such complicated emotions. You might feel angry and then guilty about that anger. You might feel a mixture of love and resentment. Today, we tackle family anger and generational trauma. My guest, Lisa-Jo Baker was a teenager when her mother died, leaving her alone with her father and his fierce temper. When she found herself exhibiting that same temper with her own son, she knew it was time to dig deeper.Her new memoir, It Wasn't Roaring, It Was Weeping, is a beautifully written, incredibly powerful story of the legacy of anger, violence, and generational trauma—and how one family healed. You do not want to miss this conversation.Here’s what we cover:1. When a parent is both hero & villain (9:13)2. The moment Lisa-Jo realized her father’s anger had become hers (15:43)3. How she began to investigate her past (19:05)4. A powerful metaphor for the scars of our families (31:31)5. The risk of discussing your pain with your parents (35:07)6. Self-righteous anger vs. wise anger (36:30)7. What Lisa-Jo confronted about racism as a South African and an American (39:14)8. Biblical wisdom for healing (51:41)Order It Wasn't Roaring It Was Weeping hereFind a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Related Episodes:Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique KovenEpisode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are GrievingEpisode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher CookEpisode 100: I Shouldn’t Feel Betrayed By Someone I Trust—How to Grieve, Breathe, & Receive in the Wake of Broken Trust with Steve CarterThanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you thought you could trust?It's a deeply painful experience that can leave you questioning not only the betrayer but also your own judgment. Trust, once broken, seems almost impossible to rebuild. My guest today, Steve Carter, experienced a series of profound betrayals at a pivotal moment in his life. In 2018, amidst misconduct allegations against Bill Hybels, founder of Willow Creek Community Church, Steve made the difficult decision to step down from his role as a newly minted lead pastor—a position he once considered his dream job. Shortly thereafter, he faced yet another personal betrayal by his own parents.Reeling from the loss of his job, his dream, and his trust in those closest to him, Steve entered a desert season guided by three words he sensed God gave to him: Grieve. Breathe. Receive. Steve's journey through loss is so powerful, so honest, and so deeply healing. Please do not miss this conversation!Here’s what we cover: 2 essential ingredients for trust (12:40) Why grief is the antidote to cynicism (22:28) Confronting our attraction to patterns of narcissism (28:08) The anger high vs. the peace of forgiveness (36:25) How he hangs on to his love for the church (34:03) Purchase Grieve, Breathe, Receive by Steve Carter here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Related Episodes:Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique KovenEpisode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. ParkEpisode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher CookThanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christopher Cook shares powerful insights on a broken spirit, depression, and burnout. They discuss painful circumstances, recovery from survival mode, the meaning of a broken spirit, experiencing a dark night of the soul, true surrender, and supporting someone in dark times.

What do you do when you're grieving?How do you support others through grief?Grief shows up in all of our lives—whether you’re grieving the loss of a person, a relationship, or a dream. We need each other to grieve well. It’s not something we were designed to do in isolation. My guest today, hospital chaplain, J.S. Park, is a powerful story teller and grief catcher. His viral posts about grief and death have revealed an incredibly important need. So many of us long to give voice to our grief in a culture that often rushes to push it aside.If you're feeling grief, or if you love someone who's grieving, please do not miss this episode.Here’s what we cover: 1. Why parts of us fear grief (5:20)2. Why naming grief is so important (9:50)3. How sitting with loss impacted Joon's faith (23:56)4. The prayer Joon says before walking into a room (26:20)5. The #1 thing you can do for someone after a loss (30:56)6. How to set grief boundaries (36:40)7. How to support someone who is grieving & what *not* to do (41:07)8. The one word Joon wants for all of us (48:46)Order Joon's new book here.Find a list of resources from this episode here.Related Episode:Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique KovenThanks to our sponsors:Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou.Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou.Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Monique Koven, host of The Healing Trauma podcast, shares her powerful healing journey from trauma. Topics include dealing with anxiety, misdiagnosis harms, anger in healing, separating church messages, finding glimmers of hope, and a message for trauma survivors.

Do you walk on eggshells with someone you love?Do you sometimes feel like you can't have an honest conversation?Signs of emotional immaturity are everywhere. In today’s episode, we dive into the signs of emotional immaturity and its profound effect on our relationships. You'll learn the difference between emotionally mature and immature responses so that you can improve your connections. Here’s what we cover:1. Why emotional immaturity is so prevalent & how it showed up in me! (6:15)2. Examples of mature vs. immature emotional responses (10:43)3. The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism (21:44)4. The role of enmeshment in emotional immaturity (29:41)5. Tips for how to navigate a relationship with an emotionally immature person (35:33)6. Tips for growing in emotional maturity (37:42)Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here.Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here.Related Episodes:Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really?Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. FreemanEpisode 95: 4 Toxic Behaviors You Need to Recognize & the #1 Way to Protect YourselfThanks to our sponsors:Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order.Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off!Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou.Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off!Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices