DREAM THINK DO I Motivation, Encouragement & Strategy

Ben Courson is our guest.  He’s an international speaker, bestselling author, and his TV show, Hope Generation with Ben Courson, is broadcast in 180 countries, and his radio show airs on more than 400 stations nationally. His latest book is called “Flirting With Darkness.”  In it, Ben talks about his own journey with overcoming depression and battling thoughts of suicide.  He also offers up some specific strategies that you can use if you’ve ever been tempted by suicidal thoughts… or if you know someone who’s wrestling with that.  World Suicide Prevention Day is September 10th… AND because all of the stuff with Covid-19 and all the wildness that 2020 had thrown… we thought it would be a really important subject to cover and wildly relevant time.  So let’s get to this!     RESOURCES: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English & Spanish. PHONE: 1-800-273-8255 WEBSITE:  suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  Ben’s Latest Book: Flirting With Darkness.   Ben’s website:  www.bencourson.com/ You can follow Ben on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.    MORE ABOUT BEN COURSON EPISODE: Okay, guys… we’re going after a big and important topic today.   Get this: Every 40 seconds… someone… somewhere in the world… takes their own life. There are 123 suicides a day in the US alone.  Now… that statistic floored me but this next statistic broke my heart: the second leading cause of death in the world for people aged 15 to 24 is suicide. I know… I know… this is a heavy subject… but you know that with this podcast... we’re all about helping you to dream bigger… think better and do more of what you were created to do.  And if we’re going to be true to that mission… and take this mandate seriously... that means we can’t shy away from tough topics.  And that’s exactly why I’m excited we’re talking with Ben Courson.   MINUTE BY MINUTE: 1:30 This is an important topic 2:27 Meet Ben 6:48 Why Ben is passionate about this topic 10:35 When Ben knew he needed help 13:31 How to fight depression 17:08 Go on adventures with God 19:47 Building relationships 23:21 Choosing to fight 27:57 Ben’s favorite dream quote 29:00 Mitch’s biggest takeaways   I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! So… what stood out to you?  What’s something that got you thinking?   Oh…. and how about you?  Any good stories on how prayer has played out in your life?  Any questions about it? I’d love to hear from you!  Hit me up in the comments and let’s keep this conversation going! And again… I want to invite you to join us for WE AGREE TO PRAY!  You can find out more and sign up at www.WeAgreeToPray.com.

There’s so much division and polarization in the world right now. BUT at the same time, I think there’s a pendulum swing that’s happening too. There seem to be more and more people who are saying, “Enough!” Let’s find some common ground and let’s work from there to find real solutions. They’re looking for a place to start! Because that’s what we do… when we are at our very best. We find a way to find a way. We find a way to band together to help. We find a way. That’s where the “We Agree to Pray” project comes in. We don’t have to agree on everything, but what if a small group of people could come together to say, “We AGREE to pray.” What might happen? Well… let’s talk about that!     RESOURCES: To sign up for WE AGREE TO PRAY, go here: WeAgreeToPray.com. Episode 282: “Empathy - A Secret Weapon for Thriving in a Divided World.”  Click here: mitchmatthews.com/282 Mitch’s “6 Miracle Story.”  Click here.   We AGREE TO PRAY PROJECT EPISODE MINUTE-BY-MINUTE: 0:02 What to expect today 2:00 Are you sick of the polarization? 3:15 Why Mitch Learned from a Derecho 8:09 The human spirit 10:56 The phrase that sparked the idea 13:47 The power of prayer and what to do when you feel “the nudge” 27:11 What’s coming up in September 32:21 Will you join us? 34:43 How to join   MORE ABOUT THE EPISODE: Recently, on an early morning drive… I was reminded of how we… as human beings… find a way.  That’s right.  When we are at our best, we find a way to help each other, encourage each other, push each other and come alongside each other. That idea planted a seed. What could we do… if we gave ourselves permission to find some common ground?   As I was praying about this question, I got hit with a phrase. “We Agree to Pray.” Well… I’ll be honest.  At first, I pushed back on the idea.  I thought, “People can't seem to agree on ANYTHING right now.  They can’t agree on big stuff like politics, COVID… or the little stuff like who makes the best French Fry or how to eat an Oreo. But… WHAT IF? What if a ragtag group of us was willing to put aside our differences for a month? What if we… a group of very different people… took a month to pray for healing, hope, grace, unity, solutions and breakthroughs?   What might happen? Now… here’s the deal.  Prayer may not be your thing.  If that’s the case… TOTALLY cool.  No harm no foul.  We’re good.  And hey… if you want to drop out of this episode… that’s totally fine.  We can TOTALLY still be friends AND you are still TOTALLY part of the DREAM THINK DO family.  Because we are TOTALLY willing to recognize and honor our differences and our similarities here! At the same time… if prayer IS your thing… or you’ve always been curious about it… cool.  Let’s keep talking. See… prayer hasn’t always been big for me.  But over the years… prayer has brought me a lot of peace, hope, strength, grace, AND love.  PLUS… it’s also become a part of our core business strategy and something I depend on as we navigate the wild waters of life (especially in 2020!!!). Now, I don’t do it perfectly.  When I pray… it’s messy.  It ain’t poetic.  It’s not beautiful.  #IloveJesusbutIcussalittlebit  But it has become powerful… and amazing.   In the episode, I share some examples, plus I mention our “6 Miracle Day.”  (Click here to read that story: mitchmatthews.com/our-6-miracle-story/ Most importantly, we’ve seen the power of prayer help people to experience a sense of peace, hope, and strength.  And we’ve seen incredible things happen when a group of people comes together to pray. So… for the month of September, we’re wanting to do something we’re calling the WE AGREE TO PRAY project. It’s where people from all walks of life agree to pray… together. We’ll send out a daily email to: Offer some encouragement Provide a shared prayer focus for the day Share some stories and breakthroughs

EMPATHY: The Secret Weapon for Thriving in a Divided World!  In this episode, we talk about a surprising conversation that opened my eyes to the importance of EMPATHY… especially right now!  (That’s right… 2020!)  In this episode, you and I take a deep dive into the power of empathy.  But more importantly, we give you some tools, some strategies and some science!  Plus, we introduce you to the idea of “JOY SHARING.”  That’s right!  It’s a concept that can help you to experience more joy and share it with others too!  I think you’re going to dig it… so let’s get to it!   RESOURCES MENTIONED IN EPISODE: EPISODES MENTIONED: My interview with BEN STEIN:mitchmatthews.com/history-doesnt-repeat-it-rhymes-with-ben-stein My interview with LINDSAY PALMER: mitchmatthews.com/lindsay-palmer-create-your-opportunities\  MINUTE BY MINUTE: 0:02 What to expect today 1:15 Storytime 4:48 The power of empathy 7:34 Healing division 11:57 Empathy’s connection to happiness 14:24 One of Mitch’s favorite quotes 18:56 Share more joy feel more joy 21:19 Connect with Mitch MORE ON THE EPISODE:  Over the 4th of July… our family got together with one of our favorite people… Ben Stein.  He’s a history teacher our boys had.  He has a true passion for history, government, politics and the human condition.  We got together… socially distanced and safely of course.  We got caught up and then we did what we do… we started to talk HISTORY and current events.  We had an AWESOME conversation. We didn’t agree on everything… but we brought up issues of the day… as well as linked stories to our history.  Some of the stuff… we totally agreed on and some of the stuff… we didn’t.   But we were able to have this deep… enlightening… fun… awesome conversation.  Family was there.  We were pigging out on all sorts of unhealthy food too.  Which I’m sure helped. But at one point… I asked a question.  It was partly hypothetical… and partly because I legitimately was open to his answer. I said, “Okay… we’ve talked about a ton of different issues… some of which we’ve agreed on and some not so much, but it’s been amazing. You’ve opened my eyes to some things, and I think I may have pointed you to a few things too.   What’s at the heart of that? He responded with one word.  “Empathy.” We were willing to have empathy for each other. It was sooooo true!  Now… I’m fascinated by psychology, communication and interpersonal dynamics.  I get lost in leadership theory.  So, of course, I knew the word.  But in that moment… it just hit me.  It was a truth I needed to be reminded of! Empathy. In the moment… I totally agreed… and then we moved on to more topics.  But the concept of empathy stuck with me.  So I kept digging into it.  And some of the things I’ve found led me to believe that it is truly the Secret Weapon for Thriving in a Divided World! Seriously… I don’t want to over hype it… but the growing science and understanding behind EMPATHY is incredible.  I dug in and I wanted to share a little bit of you… so you could understand this Secret Weapon better… and use it more. Because when you understand empathy… you tend to connect with people at deeper levels, you create more trust AND… some new research is pointing to how empathy can actually make you a happier person too!  So let’s dive in.  EMPATHY DEFINED: One Definition for empathy is: "The ability to understand the feelings of another.” It does NOT mean you need to agree... but simply the willingness and ability to understand and honor the feelings of another person.  Another definition is: “The ability to sense other people's emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.” A third says, “Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgement, and emotionally connecting with another human being.” And right now... this is sooooo needed and sooooo healing!

Jake Thompson is an entrepreneur, performance coach, podcaster, speaker, and author.  He’s also the CEO of Compete Every Day… a training and performance apparel company with kick-butt clothing to help you stay healthy, motivated, ambitious, and hungry!  His podcast is called “Compete Every Day,” and he interviews competitors from all walks of life and they talk about the specific things they do to win and succeed.  And lastly, Jake’s brand new book was just released and it’s killing it.  The book is called… surprise… surprise… “Compete Every Day.”   In it Jake shares the seven key choices leaders and globe changers can make to enhance their focus, increase their success, and win at work and life… EVEN during a pandemic!  We’re going to talk about what it means to COMPETE EVERY DAY… and how we can make some KEY choices to help us succeed more… and live more of the life we were meant to live!  I’m so looking forward to this so let’s get to it!   RESOURCES MENTIONED IN EPISODE: WEBSITE: www.competeeveryday.com PODCAST: podcast.competeeveryday.com BOOK: www.competeeveryday.com   MORE ON THE Jake Thompson EPISODE: Welcome to episode 281 of DREAM THINK DO.  I’m so stoked to get you this interview… because in it, we’re going to get you some specific ways to beat “Pandemic Fatigue.” I mean seriously… beat it back with a stick!  We’re going to dig into some strategies to help you not only survive… but thrive… RIGHT NOW. Honestly… that wasn’t what I was originally planning to focus on in this interview… because we’re talking with an expert on competition and resilience.  This is a guy who helps athletes… as well as people from all walks of life… perform at their best. But when we started to dig into some of the specific things top athletes do to perform at world-class levels… we started to bring the conversation to applying them to help you to navigate some of the rough stuff that’s hitting us right now. Whether you want to call it “Pandemic fatigue” or “COVID fatigue” it’s rampant.  It involves the feelings of being drained, overwhelmed, frustrated… especially because we’re not sure when all of this stuff is going to get better.  And if we let it… pandemic fatigue can totally drain our energy… our creativity… our performance.  And heck… even our ability to experience joy and peace. Well… if you can relate to this… and… deep down… you’ve been looking for some solutions… I can’t wait to get you this episode.  I can tell you that when I got done with recording the episode… I started to apply some of the things we talked about IMMEDIATELY.  And I can say that it’s already started to help.  And that’s what I want for you. I’m hoping you listen and then set an intention to do something new.  Something small but significant to not only survive but thrive… EVEN now!  So let’s do this! MINUTE BY MINUTE: 0:02 What is going down today 2:46 Get to know Jake Thompson 4:00 Conversation starts 4:42 The difference between competition and comparison 7:32 When Jake found that personal competition is key 15:57 Perseverance and grit 20:28 How Jake has coached his team during the pandemic 20:23 Staying focused on your priorities and goals 29:30 Final thoughts 30:46 Mitch's biggest takeaways   I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! What do you think?  What stood out to you from this convo with Jake? I loved each of his suggestions… but one specific thing I started to do IMMEDIATELY was to put some specific stuff on my calendar to look forward to.  Things for work.  Things for family and friends.  Quick adventures.  They don’t have to be BIG things (although I did schedule some ACTUAL travel - don’t worry… I’ll do it safely!).  They can be small but intentional things.  But I can already feel a difference.  Those milestones are SO important… especially right now!  What did you dig?  What did it stir up? I want to hear from YOU!

Daniel Scrivner… he’s a true DREAM THINK DOer.  He’s a self-taught designer who got his start freelancing and eventually joined DDB - an advertising firm in Venice Beach.  Then… he moved to San Francisco and joined Apple's Marketing Communications team… where he got to work on several landmark product launches and projects.  In 2011, Daniel left Apple and joined the small team at Square.  He went on to become Square's Director of Design… where he grew his team from 5 to 40… and his team touched almost every aspect of Square's design.  During that same time, Square went public… and was valued at over $3.6 billion.  In 2016, Daniel left Square and founded Blackletter Ventures… and has become an investor in more than 30 companies.  Daniel has also become a trusted advisor to brands like Nike, Disney… and he speaks on design and entrepreneurship around the world.  Which brings us to what he’s up to now.    RESOURCES: Daniel’s website: www.danielscrivner.com Investments: www.blackletter.com  Daniels new Podcast: Outliers: www.outliers.fm/ Daniel references the book, “HOW WILL YOU MEASURE YOUR LIFE” by Clayton Christensen.  Here’s an article in the HBR about the story behind it.  FLOW: Daniel wants to give DREAM THINK DOers would like to give 25% off their first year with Flow. You can sign up for free at www.getflow.com and use promo code "DREAMTHINKDO" when you subscribe. BONUS INTERVIEW: Daniel and I extended our conversation to talk about leadership and life!  Check out this bonus interview for some pure gold insights on stretching yourself, continuing to innovate and living life to the fullest!  ADDITIONAL INFO ABOUT Daniel Scrivner EPISODE: Characterized by his refined aesthetic and ability to work at the highest level across mediums, Daniel is recognized as a leader in his field.  Get this… his client roster includes organizations like Apple, Square, Nike, Disney, and Target, and his accolades include a D&AD Black Pencil for Apple.com, a nomination to Kleiner Perkin's Design Council under John Maeda, and several "Best Of" awards in both Apple's App Store and Google's Play Store. As you’ll hear in our interview, Daniel is a self-taught designer, who’s worked his way up to now being CEO of Flow.   Daniel has been invited to speak at some of the world's most innovative organizations, including Andreessen Horowitz, General Assembly, Designer Fund, and 500 Startups.  A California native, Daniel now lives on five acres up in the foothills of Boulder, Colorado with his bride, Bre, and their dog, Sunny.  With clients and investments across the US, he spends most of the time in Colorado, with many trips to California and New York when it’s safe to do so! MINUTE BY MINUTE SHOW NOTES: 0:02 What to expect today 1:25 Get to know Daniel 4:09 Conversation starts 4:56 How David got into design 12:28 The correct way to think about self education 15:08 Daniel’s journey from designer to CEO 18:02 Give yourself permission to go all-in 20:05 Put in the work to create better opportunities 21:17 The one thing Mitch wants to know 26:06 Know yourself 27:26 Recognize your weakness in a healthy way 31:09 Mitch’s biggest takeaways 31:11 How to see bonus footage   I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! What do you think?  What stood out to you from this convo with Daniel? I have to say I love his devotion to continually learning.  That core belief has allowed him to push through and have some AMAZING experiences.  Apple. Square.  Now… FLOW.  Pretty dang cool!  Plus, that devotion keeps him stretching and achieving at new levels.  Love that.   What did you dig?  What did it stir up? I want to hear from YOU!  Comment here or you can connect up with me on Facebook or Instagram and let me know.   I can’t wait to hear YOUR thoughts! #letsdothis #bestyearyet For more podcasts click here

Vishen Lakhiani joins us for DREAM THINK DO.  Vishen is the founder and CEO of Mindvalley - a leading online personal growth education company.  He’s also written TWO New York Times best-selling books and we dig into both. One is “The Code of the Extraordinary Mind” which we’ll tap into at the backend of the interview… to get you a powerful and really useful six-step process to help with daily meditation and prayer.  We’ll also be digging into his brand new book, “The Buddha and the Badass, - the secret spiritual art of succeeding at work.”  During the interview, we’ll talk about what being a Spiritual badass even means… and more importantly… how you can tap into it to improve your work, your relationships, and your life.       RESOURCES: Vishen’s books: The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: click here The Buddha and the Badass: click here Mindvalley: click here  Vishen’s 6-Phase Guided Meditation: Vishen Lakhiani SHOW NOTES: This week we’re talking about what it means to integrate the power of our spiritual self into our everyday life.  Plus, we’ll get you some incredible strategies to help you to do just that. Vishen Lakhiani ’s passion and drive to unite humanity and challenge the status quo, he has built a movement of growth-seekers, spanning across 195 countries, engaging more than 15 million followers on social media, and nearly half-a-million Mindvalley students each year. He describes his childhood schooling experience in Malaysia as “forgettable.” As a young adult, he envisioned going to school in the United States and fulfilled that dream when he attended the University of Michigan but it just didn’t click with the formal concept of education. These experiences, along with finding his passion and purpose, ignited a dream of evolving the way the world does education—and so he created Mindvalley.  Vishen’s first book, The Code of the Extraordinary Mind, which challenges you to reject the inherited world’s rules and expectations that hold you back.  It was released in 2016 and since then many professional athletes, top entrepreneurs and political leaders point to the book as changing their lives and careers.  In June 2020, his second book The Buddha And The Badass became an instant bestseller, debuting at No. 9 on the ‘Advice / How To’ list, and it quickly hit #1 on the Wall Street Journal’s bestseller list.  We talk about both books in the interview… including Vishen’s 6 phase meditation process.   Here’s the minute-by-minute breakdown of the episode: 0:02 What to expect today 0:34 Meet Vishen Lakhiani 4:40 The value of meditation 8:10 Spirituality is a legitimate business strategy 13:10 Being a spiritual badass 14:30 6 phase meditation 20:00 What does 6 phase meditation look like practically? 21:44 Final thoughts and recognizing human duality   I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! What do you think?  What stood out to you from the conversation? I know I’m going to try out the Vishen Lakhiani ’s 6 Phase meditation and I’ll let you know how it goes.   What do you agree with?  What don’t you agree with?  Either way… I want to hear from YOU!  Comment here or you can connect up with me on Facebook or Instagram and let me know.   I can’t wait to hear YOUR thoughts! #letsdothis #bestyearyet For more podcasts click here

This episode is for someone who has a big idea but is feeling stuck.  The idea keeps getting bigger in your mind, but that’s making it harder and harder to find a place where you can start!  Whether it’s writing that book, starting that business, launching that website, or shifting your career… deep down you know it’s time but you’re feeling like you keep running into a brick wall.  Well… this episode is for you!  I give you 3 simple but powerful strategies in about 15 minutes to help you to get started, get momentum, and get that big idea done!  So, let’s get to it!     RESOURCES: Eric Reis and the Lean Startup: theleanstartup.com Mitch’s Book: IGNITE! www.ignitethebook.com    MINUTE BY MINUTE SPEED BOATS, NOT CRUISE SHIPS! SHOW NOTES: 0:02 What to expect today 1:01 Thanks for the feedback 3:16 The phrase that will help you get “unstuck” 8:13 Progress over perfection 10:11 Evaluate and adjust 10:30 What Mitch learned from his first book 14:11 What to do on your lunch break   I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! What do you think?  What’s a “speed boat” you’re going to put in the water?  What’s a way that you can do something small but significant this week with that awesome… the big idea of yours?   Let me know! Comment here or you can connect up with me on Facebook or Instagram and let me know there!  I can’t wait to hear from YOU! Let’s kick butt… let’s break free of all this pandemic fatigue and make the rest of the year amazing… no matter what.  Who’s in?  I’m betting you are! #letsdothis #bestyearyet Read more about our latest Podcasts.

We’re diving into two quick but powerful concepts to help you navigate this wild time.  And hey… if we do this right, we can all turn 2020 into one of our best years yet!  That’s no small order but I think we’re all up for it.  The key is our willingness to ADAPT and pivot (I’ll give you some specific examples of what we’ve done with the show) and to ASK people what they want.  This episode is short and sweet… AND we wrap up by asking what YOU want me to focus on as we look to finish 2020 strong!  So let’s get to this!     “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” George Bernard Shaw “Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.” Bruce Lee “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” Stephen Hawking “Every success story is a tale of constant adaptation, revision, and change!” Richard Branson EPISODES MENTIONED: DTD INTERVIEW WITH MOVIE CRITIC RUSS MATTHEWS (Mitch’s brother): MitchMatthews.com/104    GRATITUDE: We’re kicking things off with some celebration and gratitude for YOU… the DREAM THINK DO-er!   We’re grateful for each and every download… because each one represents someone who’s willing to defy the odds to DREAM bigger, THINK better, and DO more of what they were put on the planet to do!   Recently, we’ve had downloads from places like China, Russia, and even Kazakhstan!  Who knew? But we also hear from so many awesome DTDers in great places like Iceland, Great Britain, New Zealand, Australia, Canada… and of course… my home… the USA!   We’re grateful for ALL of you and how you continue to invite others to join us too!    THANK YOU! ADAPT: It’s been a crazy year so far.  Heck… I’m betting we can all agree it’s one of the wildest any of us has ever experienced.  It’s shifted so many things.  How we work, how we shop, how we eat, how we church, how we congregate and gather… heck… even how we do birthdays and weddings! Adapting and pivoting have had to become mainstream. One example is how it’s hit the podcast industry.  You may or may not know that many podcasts lost 30 to 50% of their downloads in one week.  The week things REALLY shut down and almost everyone started to work from home.  Why?  Well, as it turns out… most people listened to podcasts while they were commuting and at work.  So… if people aren’t driving to work and/or sitting at their work desks… many aren’t listening to podcasts.   Boom.  30 to 50% gone.  Overnight. We got hit by that too. But… we adapted. We started to watch the numbers to see where and when people started to listen.  Not surprisingly, more people started to listen on the weekends.  Also… not surprisingly… they started to listen for a shorter period of time. So… we shifted.  (You may have noticed.) Now, instead of releasing on Tuesdays and promoting on Wednesdays.  We’re releasing on Thursdays or Fridays and promoting on Fridays or Saturdays.  We also shorted the average episode length from 45 minutes to less than 20 minutes. We pivoted.  You guys responded. So much so that although we took that 50% hit… like the rest of the industry… we’re now hitting download numbers higher than what we were experiencing before this virus wildness came on the scene!  #suckitcovid Thanks for helping to make that happen and thanks SO much for continuing to share DREAM THINK DO with your family and friends!  We’re so grateful for you! And hey… that’s one example of some PIVOTS we’ve been experimenting with.  How about you?  What are some small (or big) changes you’ve been making to adapt and thrive in this weird wild season?  We want to hear from YOU!  (Comment below!) ASK: Also, as we adapt and pivot… we also want to ASK. That’s right.  I want to hear from YOU! Because I want us all to thrive in the midst of all the curveball...

This week we’re talking about overcoming COMPARISON!  Seriously, have you ever opened up your social media app… you scrolled… scrolled… and then WHAM!  It hits you… that wave of COMPARISON. Those feelings of: “I’m behind,” or “I’ve missed it” or “I’m too late” or “I’m not as ________ as them.”  Here’s the deal.  I think comparison kills more dreams and big ideas than just about anything else.  And THAT is why we’re going after it this week.  I’m going to get you a six-word phrase that’s helped set me and my coaching clients free from the “comparison trap!”  (Plus, I’ll give you the fun story of when and how it hit me!)  So… if you’re wanting to bust free from the weariness that comes from comparison… I’ve got your back!  Let’s do this. Listen To The Podcast:   RESOURCES: DREAM THINK DO Episode 213: “Identity Statements,” www.mitchmatthews.com/213 Mitch’s Success Coaching: www.mitchmatthews.com/success-coaching   MINUTE BY MINUTE: 0:02 What to expect today 1:42 Comparison kills dreams 4:07 When Mitch experienced comparison 6:39 The phrase that ended comparison for Mitch 8:00 the benefits of staying in “learning mode” 9:51 Instead vs. Not 13:18 The foundation of the phrase 14:20 What to do when you are feeling intimidated 17:14 How to get coaching from Mitch   MORE ABOUT THE EPISODE: Recently, I was working with one of my coaching clients.  He’s an entrepreneur working on a new project.  It has the potential to be big… really big.  But part of it is going to involve him having more of a social media presence.  This has caused him to look at what other people are doing which sparked a conversation about feeling those pangs of “comparison.”     You know those feelings that can sometimes come when you see other people doing something or achieving something that you want to do or experience.  Those feelings of: Do I have what it takes? Did I miss it? Am I too late? I could totally relate.   I can totally relate.  In fact, I had a similar experience when I was asked to be on stage at a big conference.  I knew some of my heroes from the speaking world were going to be there too.  People like Brendon Burchard, Jack Canfield, and Les Brown. Once I was there, I got to see them in action on stage.  Plus, I was able to connect with them backstage too.  I’ll admit those inner-voices of comparison started to weasel their way into my thinking. I started to have doubts. What if I wasn’t as good as they were? What if I couldn't deliver at the same level? What if my content didn’t resonate? But then I got hit with this phrase and it was so freeing.  I think it was a gift from God because you know I was praying… BIG time!  This phrase hit me and as I let it sink it...  I got hit with a sense of calm… this sense of peace.  This phrase helped me to move into a healthier state of mind.  It helped me to start to feel confident.  It helped me to move out of fear and be more open to the awesome things that were happening around me.   It helped me to stay out of comparison and instead… it enabled me to take in the gold the speakers were sharing… as well as take in the full experience and learn from the whole situation.   I can tell you this phrase has helped me so much since too.  Any time when I’m moving into comparison mode.  You know those times when you’re: - scrolling through social media - or reading a book or a memoir by someone who’s done something YOU want to do - hearing a story of a breakthrough from a friend or a client   If I feel that comparison starts to creep in… I remind myself of the phrase and it makes all the difference.  Are you ready for it? Here’s the phrase. “Learn from instead of comparing to.” Such a simple phrase but it makes a huge difference. There are three elements to this phrase.  Let’s break it down. LEARNING FROM:

We’re talking about what to do AFTER that difficult conversation.  Our first two episodes on the CRITICAL subject of having HARD (but RICH) conversations have been huge!  In fact, it’s led to some of our biggest download numbers of the year!  (Thanks for spreading the word!)  That means we’re hitting on a topic that people need right now.  That’s why we’re talking about what to do AFTER the conversation. I offer THREE tenets to live by in about 15 minutes.  Short and sweet. NOTE: The 2nd will help you to know what to do if you think you’ve offended someone.  (Because that’s a hard reality of our current era… right?)  BTW… the strategy might surprise you… but I think it will also help you to feel a sense of freedom too! So let’s get to it! Listen To The Podcast:   RESOURCES: www.mitchmatthews.com/273 - Preparing for a HARD conversation www.mitchmatthews.com/274 - MINDSET for hard conversations www.mitchmatthews.com/211 - Finding the Middle Ground with Congressman Ro Khanna   Marianne Williamson quote on honor and respecting each other: “A healthy, vital society is not one in which we all agree.   It is one in which those who disagree can  do so with honor and respect for other people’s opinions…  and an appreciation of our shared humanity.”   A Masterclass on Hard Conversations: Part 3 SHOW NOTES:  We’re going after 3 TENETS in about 15 minutes.  So let’s get to it! FIRST TENENT: Love first.  Love last.  Love fully. If you’ve been listening to DTD for a while… you know I’m a Jesus guy and I love the Bible.   So I do my best to follow what I’ve learned from the Bible.  I sure don’t do that perfectly… but I’ve found that if I try to understand what’s in there… and know that God loves me… a lot… as I do… things seem to work out pretty darn well.  And I have a much better life.   Now I’m going to stop right there and acknowledge the fact that I may have thrown out something we may or may not agree upon… but I wanted to give you some of my own personal foundation for the first strategy.  (How about that for navigating difficult conversations!  HA!) Here’s the deal… people were always asking Jesus about the rules… and laws. Sometimes He would offer stories and metaphors… other times He would offer different ways to look at things… sometimes He would raise the stakes and poke a little bit.  But in one particular interaction, someone was trying to set Jesus up… my hope was they were truly trying to learn… but some people think this guy was trying to get Jesus to say something that would get Him in trouble.  The question was: of ALL the commandments… of ALL the rules that we live by… which is the most important?   Can you imagine? It was a rules-based culture.  The rules were everything.  The people who memorized the rules were elevated… they were respected… they were feared.  The more rules you knew… the more power you had.  But Jesus did this wild thing in his response. He said… Okay… of ALL the rules… the TWO most important rules are: Love God with all your heart.  Love your neighbor as yourself. Love. Love. Love. Love God.  Love others.  Love yourself. Now THAT is something I can remember. Now you might be asking, “What does it have to do with difficult conversations?” Well… sometimes they’re going to go the way you want them to.  Sometimes they’re not. But I’ve found that if I focus on loving the person… which can mean truly listening… which can mean honoring… which can mean respecting them… even if we don’t agree.  If I do THAT… it almost always leads to a much higher chance for a rich relationship… before, during, AND after. Now, here’s the thing.  Loving someone doesn’t mean acquiesce.  It doesn’t mean being a doormat.  It means being humble AND confident. Humble confidence. In fact, I like what Frank Turner from Qurora.com said about humility.   “To be humble is to not make yourself more important than others.