Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

In this episode, Kimberly and Eliza discuss intergenerational relationships, mother-daughter healing, and navigating parent-child dynamics during the preteen and teenage years in order to cultivate more conscious, self-loving, and resilient children. Eliza discusses how she began this work, alongside her mother, Sil Reynolds, as a teenager. They discuss the need for parents to have intergenerational support while parenting and for teens, holding space for rapid developmental changes and intensity through the teen years, and pushing back on negative cultural stereotypes of preteens and teens in order to raise more empowered youth. Bio Eliza Reynolds is a best-selling author, speaker, and professional mentor. She's the coauthor, with her mom, Sil, of Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years. For almost 15 years, Eliza has been facilitating sold-out workshops for thousands of mothers and their preteen and teen daughters, and now offers online and in-person mentorship programs teaching emotional intelligence, embodiment, body literacy, and more for big-hearted preteen and teen girls at Badass Girls. What They Share --Need for intergenerational support for parents and children --How cultural stereotypes of teen girls impact them --Commonalities between teens and toddlers development --Mature mentorship --Healthy resistance and how to hold space for it from preteens and teens What You'll Hear --Describes writing book and teaching with mother at 15 --"Full body yes" to teach and facilitate --Dominant culture "mom bashing" from teens and culture --Sil always looking for mentors, intergenerational village for Eliza --Cultural degradation of teenage girls --Not normalizing parents feeling overwhelmed and isolated --False, harmful narrative that teen parenting is only hardship --Preteens and teens need intergenerational village of support --Parents can't bridge intergenerational gap with teens without the village --Underestimate fracturing of extended family, place, and impact on parent-child --Healthy mentorship and positive power dynamics --"Daughtering" as being active in relationship with your parent --Growing between healthy independence and healthy dependence --Negative stories/stereotypes we tell teen girls about themselves often come true --Sil would never trash talk Eliza to other people --Teenage girls as fiercely loyal, loving, kind, radically inclusive with support --Mothers need other mother/mentor support in community raising preteens and teens together --Children surrounded by peers in toxic mom-bashing culture --Dual shift parents getting parenting in community and mentorship and daughter getting healthy peer community and mentorship --Teens starve for mentorship and want to be in stable and grounded community mirrors back their magic --Badass Girls Academy supports parents and daughters --Pushing through the resistance as parents --Commonalities in parenting, attachment, and rapid development in toddlers and teens --Preteen and teen "tantrums" because of brain development, psyche, hormones, etc. remembering they are not adults yet --Being safe harbor and adult through teen tantrums --Empowering young people to have more conscious relationships to make home easier and less conflict --Building skill-set to consciously communicate through practicing with mentors, scripts, body-centering techniques, etc. --Holding boundaries and containment around preteens and teens --Safety still really important with this age group --Working with healthy resistance as parents, pushing up ways against similarities and differences as parent --Feel safety with parents to express themselves and not taking it personally as parents --Helping teens navigate resistance and intensity --Holding true space for their 'no' in order to hold true space for their 'yes' --Badass Academy is program private app and community curated by professional mentors all online, monthly themes, being more invested in radical responsibility of respecting and loving yourself Resources Website: https://badassgirls.me/ IG: @eliza.feelings

In the second of two episodes, Kimberly and Stephen discuss the roles of parents, grandparents and godparents in raising children. They attend to what might be some of the consequence of this gross fracturing of a sense of commons in the surge of conspiracy theories. And they wander through the territory of elderhood, grief, and awakening in a hope-free world. What You'll Here: —The role of parenting —Grandparenting is not elder hood —Elderhood or grandparenting or godparenting —Opioids- the longing after beauty- "anesthetic" —Seeking not after approval but for blessing —If you choose to choose the world or you, give them to the world —Parents are in charge of custodial duties- the janitors —Closeness and intimacy belies the suspicion of distance —What was everyone on about before there was a vaccine —Euthanasia is consistent with death-phobia —A personal truth? and the I-focus —Conception of God, the serenity prayer —Crisis- the imagined possibilities are frayed and are no more —There's a clarity comes with crisis that obliges you that's not available when you are feeling fine —Grief and brokenheartedness in a culture that believes in wholeness only —Fundamental addiction to self-determination —Consequence of this gross fracturing of a sense of commons will last far longer than the conspiracy itself —Heartbreak is how you cleanse yourself of prejudices, you do not rid yourself of them —Origin of our capacity for gratitude —Labor on behalf of a better day without hope —We don't need people who have an answer for everything —A healthy respect for the unknown —Meaning of the word "Awake"- of the web of consequence that fanned out from everything you did and did not do, and you did and did not say —What is the sound upon awakening that we make?

In this first of two episodes, Kimberly and Stephen look at what happens when we normalize these uniquely troubled times, as well as how we got here. Together they wonder about grief, parenting, elderhood, me-first culture and conspiracies in times of crisis. Stephen places emphasis on how relationship to history informs our present circumstance and meaning making. What do we gain by normalizing times such as these? Where does health come from? How do we reckon with our me-first world in a time so desperate for community and culture? What You'll Hear --Plague is not an easy thing to normalize, 1919 is the last time --Spirit work is a response to troubles of the times, not freedom from the troubles of the times --How wisdom is distinguished from prejudice --Our spirit work is our response to the world, not our feeling tone about the world --A puritan about your own fundamentalism --The last thing a conspiracy theorist does is imagine that their conspiracy is conspiratorial --Mania of challenging everything rarely gets challenged --Culture orchestrated around appealing to and buying and selling to 17 year olds- inherited from the 60s --What do our kids do with what we've given to them --Etymology of the word Fate- from the Latin word from the verb "to speak" What the Gods had said." --Now that the Gods have spoken, what shall you do- what are the obligations? --Origin of the concept of "bucket list" --Skillfulness or ability to be good, "good" is not a temperature of your character or indwelling possession --Where does your health come from? --What happens if we imagine that the differences between us are problems to solve? --You are incapable of generating the meaning of your life --The meaning of your life is assembled when you die, what a village minded person owns their neighbors --You don't get to know your legacy, it's not yours, it's the consequence of your death --Your act of dying is your last act of citizenship --The word "therapeo" to cure, you require a malady --Preoccupation with self is the principle malady of the times --What's the source of the enthronement of the self and social media --Elderhood as a check-and-balance on the regime of self-absorption --What will happen if you don't know how to die? --Death as a great act of humanity and its fullest incarnation or an insult to humanity --Willingness to work is a casualty of the "me first" movement --The moral quandary of having children --Inclusivity is a blowing apart of the capacity to distinguish, inclusivity shames discernment --Culture work versus personal work --Dominant culture of North American founded by flight risks, people on the run, casualties --"The world" doesn't exist, place does Resources Website: www.orphanwisdom.com

In this episode, Kimberly and Gay discuss his revolutionary term "upper limit problem," which describes when a person's capacity for feeling positive emotions is immediately followed by conflict or a dip. They also discuss how Gay discovered this phenomena and his life's work regarding relationship building, aligning oneself with pure consciousness, and his passion for helping people discover their "genius" or true creativity. Gay discusses his experience being a thought leader of transformational psychology early in academia and mainstream culture and his thoughts on being an elder in today's society. Gay Hendricks is a psychologist, author of forty books (including "The Big Leap" and "Conscious Loving"), teacher, and therapist on all things regarding relationships and body-mind transformation. He received his PhD from Stanford University in Counseling Psychology and taught for twenty years at University of Colorado. With his wife, Dr. Kathleen Hendricks, he founded The Hendricks Institute where they coach teachers and conduct workshops on relationships and wellness. They have been featured in a number of radio and television shows as well as many conferences and seminars. What He Shares: --Gay's personal awakening in mid 20s --The Upper Limit Problem --The Genius Zone --Embracing all emotions and opening towards pure consciousness --Relationships for mutual healing --Discovering your true genius and creativity What You'll Hear: --Describes beginning of academic career from PhD studies to professorship --Negative fantasy that caused worry despite feeling good and being successful --Growing up overweight and body image issues with dieting --Turning point moment of pure consciousness recognized blocking of negative emotions with food --Opening significant new territory within ourselves is major life event --Upper limit problem occurs when intense feelings of goodness are followed by intense feelings of not feeling good (reached upper limit) --Upper limit problem in relationship --Societal upper limit problem from 60s-70s --Expanding with fear instead of contracting with it --Pay-off is living in peaceful flow of positive energy within relationships --Steady relationship, not a lot of ups and downs --Zero-criticism relationships --Criticism as attack on your being instead of actions --Become masters of fear and moving through waves of fear --Staying open to the collective with hearts open not closed towards others' suffering --Sitting in pleasure without spiritual by-passing, using pleasure to heal trauma --New book describing extension of upper limit problem --How to feel flow and connection all the time --Creativity important in relationships for individuals to grow "your genius" --Everybody has same desire inside to bring forth their "genius," their true creativity --Finding genius in relationship --Pre-order copy of upcoming book --Being an elder in our culture --Planning for what you want in older age --Choosing creativity instead of stagnation; Choosing integrity instead of despair --Experience being a thought leader and academic in New Age time from 1960s-70s to now --Leaving his legacy Resources Website https://hendricks.com/ IG: @hendricks.gay

In this episode, Kimberly and Lisa discuss the lymph system and all its facets. Lisa describes what the lymph system is, what lymph drainage massage is and feels like, and the benefits of lymph massage for total well-being. They also discuss the importance of communication and safety in bodywork and how to perform self-massage on your lymph system. Kimberly and Lisa are going to host an upcoming workshop on lymph massage and listeners can check out Lisa's new book, "The Book of Lymph" and website below for more resources. Bio Lisa Levitt Gainsley is a Certified Lymphedema Therapist, Manual Lymphatic Drainage practitioner, Author, Educator, and Speaker. Her work has appeared in GOOP, ELLE, The Hollywood Reporter, Healthline and more. She has worked at UCLA Medical Center and been in private practice for 20 years. She holds a double certification in Lymphedema Therapy and is a member of the Lymphatic Education & Research Network (LE&RN) and National Lymphedema Network (NLN). Lisa leads workshops across the country and has pioneered the field of Lymphatic self-massage and just published her book "The Lymphatic Message." What She Shares: --What is the lymph system? --Lymph drainage massage --Health benefits of lymph massage --Importance of communication in bodywork What You'll Hear --Lymphatic system is circulatory system, part of immune system --Role picks up waste products of body and absorbs waste --Lymph hard to see and dissect making it slow to scientific discourse --Improve lymphatic health to quell inflammation and affect mood and nervous system --Understanding lymph system can unlock cures possibly to certain diseases such as MS, cancer, etc. --Lymph system moves 6-12x per minute, slow rhythm and layers of lymph --Lymph massage changes lymph and the nervous system --Lymphatic massage is highlighted for different benefits around the world (aesthetic, immune-boosting, etc.) --Pregnancy causes inflammation and swelling but natural process of body --Shift from mindset of weight-gain during pregnancy to natural, intrinsic movement and clearing of waste in support of body --Lymph has patterns of drainage, understand locations of lymph nodes for self-massage --Self-care as self-massage rooted in physiology and clearing waste --Book contains 3-5 minute self-care practices --Different approaches for self-touch --Laying hands flat to grab fluid and move up and let go --Lymph stroke similar to how one touches baby for nourishing touch --Negotiating how and where we accept or request touch --Body-workers needing to communicate type of treatment and touch --Three-layer touch (motherly, gripping, lightly) for lymphatic massage similar to baby sleep training --Communicating through touch what feels safe and secure --Importance of interpersonal communication during bodywork --Importance of relationship with practitioner and client --Proactive towards health with lymphatic massage --Lymphatic massage as community engagement and ways of connecting --Digital course, pre-recorded tutorials and monthly lives to practice on own and in community --Kimberly and Lisa to have workshop together --Cancer and lymph massage --Palliative care and lymph massage Resources Website: https://www.thelymphaticmessage.com/ IG: @thelymphaticmessage

In this episode, Kimberly and Joanna discuss Joanna's upbringing and personal history that ultimately birthed the artwork of The Fourth Trimester Journal. Joanna describes her experience as a Black adolescent growing up in Sweden, her identity as a mother and artist, her participation in Mother Jaguar and MotherCircle, and how she processes experience through her artwork. In addition to Joanna's insights learned from Mother Circle, they discuss the racial politics of Sweden, performative anti-racism, and making meaningful change on individual and structural levels. They also discuss the importance of Black art, its contributions to the world, and how that influenced the creation and publishing of The Fourth Trimester Journal. Bio Joanna Johnson is a self-taught artist and illustrator, social worker by trade and single mom from Sweden with roots from both Sweden and Sierra Leone, West Africa. She is also a beloved member of the Jaguar community and the featured artist and illustrator for the newly released The Fourth Trimester Journal. This summer, Joanna was one of only 12 students to be selected the first time she applied for the highly competitive art school, Östra Grevie. She hopes to move into freelance work and can be supported for her art school tuition in the link provided below. What Joanna Shares: --Growing up Black in Sweden and history father's place of origin, Sierra Leone --Brief history of recent racism in Sweden and impact on Joanna --Using art to process personal transformation through motherhood and postpartum --Birth of the art in The Fourth Trimester Journal --Support Joanna's art school tuition What You'll Hear: --Joanna describes journey joining Kimberly's MotherCircle course and community --Journaled through Images --Artistic style of drawing and upbringing --Discusses African diaspora in relation to upbringing and parents --History of Freetown in Sierra Leone, father's hometown, and Creole heritage --Awakening process during adolescence reading Black history --Sweden's history and participation in Slave Trade --Identifying as Black, political choice of choosing identity --Experiencing racism being Black in Sweden --Rise of Neo-Nazis in Swedens in 1990s, murders of people of color and effect on Joanna --Blackness as joy, whiteness as violence --Unique experiences of being biracial and disconnection from ancestral countries --Beginning of The Fourth Trimester Journal and Joanna's artwork --Joanna's birth experience and finding MotherCircle --Using artwork to process fourth trimester after actual postpartum period with child --Importance of rest and nourishment --Integration of postpartum processing --Joanna's experience with MotherCircle that provided safety and nourishment to process difficult birth and postpartum --The Fourth Trimester Journal publishing behind the scenes and negotiations --Performativity of anti-racism while racist disceprancies in culture remain unchanged --Politics of art in relation to imperialism, colonization, and cultural values --Art as essential --Examining predominantly white spaces in "white bubbles" to interrogate racism --Examining whiteness broadly as set standard of norms, expectations, aesthetics, etc. --Tokenization of Black people in various spaces without real change and as an artist --The Fourth Trimester Journal as anti-racist work as gaze of a Black woman --Creating a new vision of motherhood as a Black woman as a political act --Crowd-sourcing Joanna's art school tuition as recognition of Black art's contribution to the world --Appropriation of Black art, styles as modern colonization, symbolic of actual mining from Africa Resources Website https://www.gofundme.com/f/black-joy-resilience-send-joanna-to-design-sc https://www.shambhala.com/the-fourth-trimester-journal.html IG: @joannajohnson_art

In this episode, Kimberly and Kathleen discuss branding, identity, entrepreneurship, and privilege. Kathleen explains how her branding business came to be and her philosophy for how to brand oneself authentically. Kathleen describes her business, Braid Creative, and the Braid Method. Kimberly and Kathleen also discuss how to have difficult conversations around race, privilege, and capitalism as white women and entrepreneurs. Kathleen shares her expertise around branding and marketing to discuss tips of branding authentically as well as her perspective of recent politics through a marketing lens. Bio Kathleen Shannon is the Co-Founder and Creative Director of Braid Creative, a branding agency for entrepreneurs, small businesses and organizations. She is the author of "Being Boss: Take Control of Your Work and Live Life On Your Own Terms" and created the Braid Method, a formula for personal business branding. What They Share —The branding Braid Method —How to brand authentically —Navigating work and parenting responsibilities during COVID-19 —Interrogating privilege as a white woman entrepreneur What You'll Hear —Describes founding branding agency with sister —Started blogging about life as freelancer —Forms repeatable methods for branding —Articulating preferred forms of working style —Branding for Kimberly's work —Creative processes in the in-between moments —Trusting in collaboration with others during creative process —Being vulnerable to criticism and feedback —Became life-coach certified to be a entrepreneur —Branding authentically to self —Presenting aspirational self to dream clients —Cohesiveness and authenticity in branding —Working and schooling from home during COVID-19 —Running business with working mothers —Navigating daily life with work schedules, school, and other responsibilities —Money narratives in relation to white and class privilege —Dismantling capitalism within places of power —Anti-racism and branding work —Marketing and politics —White women holding unpolished conversations together regarding power and racism —Lifetime commitment to equity and progress as white women —Imperfection and discomfort in difficult conversations regarding power and privilege Resources website: braidcreative.com IG: @andkathleen

In this episode, Kimberly and Lily discuss issues with conventional nutritional guidelines for pregnancy, which foods provide needed nutrients during pregnancy, and the importance of proper nourishment postpartum. Lily's research on how food affects pregnancy culminates in her most recent book "Real Food for Pregnancy" which provides evidence-based data on best foods with the most health benefits, meal plans, and nutrient breakdowns for pregnancy and postpartum. Lily and Kimberly also discuss the commonalities between "Real Food for Pregnancy" and Kimberly's "The Fourth Trimester" which both emphasize the importance of preparation and nourishment for postpartum. Bio Lily Nicholas is a registered dietician and nutritionist, certified diabetes educator, and has built her career researching real food for pregnancy and gestational diabetes. Her work includes prenatal nutrition public policy, consulting, research, writing, and clinical practice. Her best-selling books "Real Food for Gestational Diabetes" and "Real Food for Pregnancy" combine evidence-based and traditional information regarding prenatal nutrition. She also offers nutritional trainings for professionals. What They Share —Why mainstream dietary advice is misguided —Which foods and nutrients are essential for pregnancy —Health issues with vegetarian and vegan diets during pregnancy —Food preparation and cooking tips —Importance of nourishment postpartum What You'll Hear —Prenatal nutrition guidelines are outdated —Conventional nutrition advice for past forty years is unchanged —Conventional nutritional advice as dogma with consequences in practice and public policy —"Play it safe" approach for prenatal nutrition out of caution —Focus on what can't eat versus what can eat to optimize baby's health —Focus on macronutrients (fats, carbs, protein) and ratios is problematic —Guidelines create deficiency in micronutrients and minerals —Under-estimated amount of protein needed in pregnancy by 73% —Deprivation, rigidity, fear around weight gain is common because of conventional guidelines —Focus on taking away instead of making space for more (food, money, nutrients, etc.) —Carbs need fat and protein for balanced blood sugar levels —Unbalanced blood sugar extremes causes feeling out of willpower physiologically —Body tells this information very clearly —Kimberly describes deficiency from being vegetarian for years —Blood sugar management as vegetarian is challenging —More plant-based diets harder to manage and recover after pregnancy and birth —Postpartum challenges due to vegetarianism (pelvic floor health, breastmilk production, blood sugar levels) —Nutrients in animal foods easiest to get for optimal health —Research shows fully vegan diets create nutrient deficiencies without supplementation —Some nutrients may not be well-absorbed in vegan diet and create deficiency in baby's health —Nutrients need to be present and in synergy for optimal health (DHA and choline, for example) that even supplementation can't mimic —Recommends real whole food sources for optimal health in pregnancy and —Experiencing mental health challenges on a vegetarian diet —Shifting from cultural norms to making food preparation valuable —Finding ways to make food prep and cook less time consuming —"Real Food Instant Pot Recipes" —"Lazy Meal Planning" on Lily's blog —Time for food prep and cooking for optimal health as self-care —Cook in bulk, use leftovers, repurpose leftovers, batch cooking —Differences in prenatal and postpartum —Emphasize protein, don't fear fat, higher quality carbs, less white flour carbs, produce and vegetables —Greater emphasis on eating more and water intake during postpartum ——Mental health as addressing physiological needs especially postpartum —Preparation for postpartum essential to health —Ask for help postpartum —First book chapter available for free —Trainings for professionals in nutrition Resources Website: lilynicholdsrdn.com IG: @lilynicholsrdn

In this episode, Kimberly and Hala discuss the nervous system's role in self-regulation and social justice activism. Healing must happen individually and collectively by understanding and regulating the nervous system, establishing and maintaining heart-centered relationships, and working with each other towards liberation. They discuss how to move beyond one's privilege towards discomfort in order to enact change for the greater good and why trauma-informed spaces are necessary for social justice activists and allies. Hala also describes the process of writing her book "Peace from Anxiety" and why it was written for this time. Bio Hala is a yoga teacher, somatic counselor, trauma therapist, social justice activist, author, mother, and co-founder of Off the Mat and Collective Resilience Yoga. "Peace from Anxiety: Get Grounded, Build Resilience and Stay Connected Amidst Chaos" is Hala's latest book which combines somatic experiencing with social justice through an intersectional lens of privilege and power-dynamics. What They Share —How and why "Peace from Anxiety" was written by Hala —Importance of Critical Consciousness in Somatic Experiencing and healing —Moving from fight-flight response to tend-befriend with social awareness and love for the other What You'll Hear —Inception of first book as culmination of Hala's teachings from past twenty years —Book discusses anxiety and using somatic experiencing to cope —Critical consciousness as awareness of socio-political context —Well-being includes equity and justice for everyone not just most privileged —Healing can be individualized but have to expand compassion for others —Move towards uncomfortable edges towards unfamiliar and discomfort —Use self-regulation and healing to move towards discomfort —Work is to turn towards one another —How to move towards discomfort for privileged people —Love people who are targeted in the world —Change happens relationally through love not intellectually —Change begins with heart and the body —Tending to recent cultural reckonings regarding racism —Creating trauma-informed spaces for healing and a bridge —Addressing nervous system in social justice activism —Understanding trauma and nervous system as we move towards liberation —Hala returns to process of writing book which includes tips, tools, and practices Resources Website: www.halakhouri.com IG: @halayoga, @offthemat, @collectiveresilienceyoga

In this episode, Kimberly and Haize discuss Haize's Get Rooted with Haize Doula Training, Haize's experience as a doula and mentor, and birth work in relation to relationships, energy, and community-building. Haize describes her experience as a spiritual mentor and doula for birthing families and how her new doula training curriculum came to be. She also discusses how COVID-19 has impacted pregnant and birthing people, causing even more isolation and health risk factors. The pandemic in addition to Haize's lifelong experiences have re-energized Haize in her trainings to focus on holding space, relationships, and community for birth workers, birthing families, and the community at large. Bio Haize Hawk is a certified doula, student midwife, spiritual counselor and community leader, mother, and offers full-spectrum doula care. She recently created and runs doula trainings based on her decades of experience in holding birth as spiritual, a rite of passage, and initiation for families. Get Rooted the Haize Way is Haize's doula training that began as a pregnant people's class and has developed into a full curriculum and certification for doulas and birth workers. What They Share --Get Rooted with Haize Doula Training philosophy --Importance of birth workers supporting one another --Importance of birth workers supporting families energetically --Impact of COVID-19 on pregnant and birthing people What You'll Hear --Started group coaching for pregnant mothers --Developed class as a doula training --Doulas needing certification for hospitals during COVID-19 --Creating curriculum and certification for doula training --Curriculum includes spiritual ancestry, masculine/feminine, herbology, nutrition, homeopathy and more --Cohorts building community with each other --Trainees doing inner work on themselves to prepare for birth work --Understand importance of birth workers --Importance of relationships between midwives, pediatricians, hospitals, doulas and all birth workers and support --Birth workers showing solidarity for each other --Protecting energy as birth workers --Power-with vs. power-over --Pregnant and birthing during COVID-19 increase in high risk factors --Birth as a spiritual transformation to individual and family --Maintains morning and evening routines as boundaries for time and access --Turns to community for support and nourishment --Self-replenishment as service for community --Love as foundation of everything --Recommendations to hold energy not place-holders --Doula support as mutual energetic reciprocity --Business of relationships, space-holding as energy in doula work --Returning to origins of birth with relationships and space-holding Resources IG: @iamhaizehawkrosen