Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.We talk today with Sarah Naish, the CEO of the Center of Excellence in Child Trauma and founder of the National Association of Therapeutic Parents. She is the author of "The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting" and "The A-Z of Survival Strategies for Therapeutic Parents." She is the adoptive mom to a sibling group of 5 who are now adults and she has fostered over 40 kids.In this episode, we cover:Why are some kids harder to parent and why especially are kids who have experienced trauma, including prenatal trauma, often harder to parent?Understanding the cause of the behavior is the root of parenting harder to parent kids.Establish the basics to make their lives predictable so they can feel safe and grow and heal. The elements for establishing this base:RoutinesEstablish yourself as a safe base-empathetic and nurturing but in controlRespond to the child, not to the child’s demandBe honest about their story, contact, etc. – be factual, but don’t fill in the gapsEstablish strong, clear boundaries- what to do when these boundaries are crossed?Use natural or life consequencesOur kids may not recognize cause and effect.Early trauma, including prenatal exposure, can hinder a child’s ability to recognize cause and effectOur kids may be developmentally younger than their chronological years which also impacts understanding.Natural consequences help children recognize that they can make an impact on the world-helps them make sense of the worldCombine natural consequences with nurturance.How to handle incidents when they happen. PARENTS model.Pause-to allow you to respond with intention not emotion.Assess-is anyone in danger or serious damage.Reflection-quick reflection to identify the trigger.Empathize rather than ask questionsuse empathetic commentary-respond to their feelings rather than the behavior.Nurture-examples of nurturing in the heat of the moment.Think about next action to take.What strategies might I use to resolve this? Do you need to do anything else?How can we avoid this situation in the future?Self-careOther parenting strategies for harder to parent kids. Other tools for your toolkit.Identify your triggers.Set realistic expectations.Use silliness or playfulness.Remove the audience.Help kids show they are sorry rather than demand they say they are sorry.The phone strategy.Watch what the child is doing rather than what she is saying.Payback time.Admit it when you made a mistake.This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professioSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering donor egg or sperm? When should you consider these options? What choices do you have and what are some of the psychological hurdles you need to consider? We talk with Dr. Angela Leung, a reproductive endocrinologist at Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey; and Dr. Poonam Sharma, a Licensed Psychologist specializing in reproductive issues.In this episode, we cover:Sperm Donation:What are the possibilities of getting pregnant when the male partner has an abnormal semen analysis? Does it depend on whether sperm count, motility, or morphology are abnormal?When should patients consider sperm donation from a medical standpoint?How and when should medical providers bring up the possibility of using donated sperm? Does it matter that the “patient” is usually the female partner?What are some of the psychological issues that may arise for the female partner using a sperm donor? What are some feelings the male partner commonly experiences? What type of impact does “asymmetry of parenthood” in which there will be a biological motherhood and social fatherhood have on couples?How do these issues differ if the patient is part of a heterosexual couple, a lesbian couple, or a single parent?Egg Donation:When should patients consider egg donation from a medical standpoint?What medical conditions make egg donation appropriate?How and when should medical providers bring up the possibility of using donated eggs? Who on the medical staff is the one that usually introduces the topic? What are some of the psychological considerations for the female partner? What are some of the psychological considerations for the male partner?What type of impact does “asymmetry of parenthood” in which there will be a genetic father and biological mother who is carrying but not using her own eggs?Donor Selection:What are some general medical considerations when selecting any type of donor? (i.e., egg or sperm bank vs. live donor)What advice would you give intended parents about psychological considerations when selecting a donor?Do medical providers or mental health professionals talk with patients about the use of anonymous vs. open donors/identified donors? What issues to consider when using known/directed donors? (i.e., friends, relatives)Should you tell the child? Embryo Donation:When should patients consider using donated embryos?How to discuss this option with patients?What are some of the psychological considerations for the intended parents? Additional Resources:American Society of Reproductive Medicine Guidance Regarding Gamete and Embryo Donation This podcast is pSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Transracial adoption affects all parts of the adoption triad. We will talk today with a transracial adoptee and his birth mom and adopted mom. We will include tips for adoptive parents raising transracially adopted or fostered child.In this episode, we cover:Adoptee’s experience with transracial adoption PreschoolElementary yearsMiddle and high school yearsCode switchingFeelingsIdentity formationCollegeAdulthoodReunion with birth familyBirth Father?Birth Mother’s experience with reunion and transracial adoptionHer role in identity formationHer feelings on reunionAdoptive Mother’s experience with transracial adoptionTips for adoptive and foster parentsAdditional Information:Kyle Bullock’s Instagram: kb_2090Short documentary based on story of Kyle and his birth family and adoptive family. “Finding identity: Growing up a transracial adoptee” This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.We talk today with Dr. Gina Samuels about Trauma and Transracial Adoption. Dr. Samuels is an Associate Professor at the University of Chicago's School of Social Service Administration and In-Coming Director at the Center for the Study of Race, Politics and Culture. She is an adult transracial adoptee. She has a newly published article in the journal Child Abuse & Neglect tilted “Epistemic trauma and transracial adoption.”In this episode, we cover:How do you define trauma? What is complex trauma?What is epistemic trauma and how does it differ from the trauma caused by abuse or neglect or witnessing violence? The article, “Epistemic trauma and transracial adoption”, asks how might the theory of epistemic injustice highlight conditions endemic to the experience of adoption, and specifically transracial adoption, that mark a distinct type of trauma? How does this apply to all adoption and how specifically to transracial adoption?The article posits that the condition of being transracially adopted can represent intersectional minoritized statuses. What are some other life experiences that can result in epistemic trauma and intersectional minoritized status? Mixed race? First generation immigrant?What are ways in which transracial adoption is traumatic? Racism? Adoption based microaggressions? Racial microaggressions?What are ways in which the institution of adoption aid in this epistemic trauma? “Hermeneutical smothering”—the deployment of dominant meanings that drown out, distort, or obscure one's own meaning making processes. How does this apply in adoption? How does it apply in transracial adoption? (How adoptees experience racism; how adoptees experience adoption)“TRA does not adopt children out of racism. In fact, TRA can place children right in the center of it.” Being transracially adopted, also amplifies a person of color's proximity to whiteness, and to the meanings of race and racism that exist within in these spaces.The feeling of being more fully understood with other transracial adopted people.How can we do better? The Creating a Family Facebook Support Group had an interesting discussion from all sides of the adoption triad (adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents) of the following quote:  “Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.” ~Rev. Keith C. Griffith Check it out at https://www.facebook.com/groups/creatingafamily/posts/10159843117386168/This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:WSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.We talk with Ryan Hanlon, with National Council for Adoption, about the largest survey of adoptive parents ever conducted. We talk about who adoptive parents are, the needs of the kids adopted, and so much more. In the episode, we cover:Who is adopting in the US? How are they similar and how do they differ from the general population of parents in relation to income and education level?What are the primary motivations for parents to adopt? Does it differ based on domestic infant adoption, international adoption, and foster care adoption?What type of special needs or diagnoses do adopted children have?How well are adoptive parents meeting these needs?How are adopted kids doing in school?What degree of openness or contact with birth families is common for infant adoption, intercountry adoption, and adoptions from foster care?How do adoptive parents view their relationship with birth families?How common are attachment issues in adoption and what factors contribute to attachment problems?How are parents meeting the needs of transracially adopted children?How satisfied are adoptive parents with the decision to adopt? Knowing what they know now, would they do it again?This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How can epigenetic changes affect your fertility or the health of your child conceived by fertility treatment? We talk with Dr. Jason Franasiak, a board certified Obstetrician Gynecologist, board certified Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility specialist, board certified High Complexity Laboratory Director in Embryology and Andrology, and lead physician of RMA’s Marlton Clinic and Lab in South Jersey. He has authored and contributed to over 100 peer reviewed publications, published chapters and abstracts. He serves on the Editorial Board for Fertility and Sterility and the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.In this episode, we cover:What is epigenetics?What factors can influence or affect the epigenome?Can we “see” epigenetic changes?How do epigenetic factors impact our health?What are the genetic and epigenetic factors associated with female infertility?What are the genetic and epigenetic factors associated with female PCOS?What are the genetic and epigenetic factors associated with endometriosis?What are the genetic and epigenetic factors associated with primary ovarian insufficiency?What are the genetic and epigenetic factors associated with male infertility?How could epigenetics affect modifications in invitro fertilization and invitro embryo development?Imprinting disordersDo environmental factors affect epigenetics?What are epigenetic disorders?Are children conceived by IVF more likely to have epigenetic disorders?Can epigenetic changes be heritable across generations?This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.We know our kids have experienced trauma, but how can we help them overcome this trauma to become healthy happy adults. We talk about resilience and overcoming an adverse beginning with Dr. Julian Ford and Dr. Amanda Zelechoski. Dr. Ford is a clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychiatry and Law at the University of Connecticut where he directs two Treatment and Services Adaptation Centers in the National Child Traumatic Stress Network. Dr. Ford is past President of the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies and has published more than 250 articles and book chapters and is the author or editor of 10 books. Dr. Amanda Zelechoski is a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist specializing in trauma. She is a professor of psychology and Director of Clinical Training at Purdue University Northwest.In this episode, we cover:What are some of the different types of events/situations that can be traumatic to a child?Do different types of trauma affect children differently? Short term but intense trauma. Long term trauma at the hands of a primary caregiver. Neglect? Witnessing domestic violence? Prenatal trauma?Why does early life trauma make it harder for kids to succeed at life?What are some signs of trauma by age of child? Preschool? Elementary? Middle and High School? (learning, physical health, mental health, trouble with the law, etc.)How to help our kids overcome their traumatic background and thrive? How to rewire the neurons?TriggersEmotional regulation.What can parents do to help their kids bounce back from their early life trauma?What is the key element to resilience?How can parents encourage resilience?What role does temperament or personality play in resilience to trauma?How long does it take for kids to “heal” from trauma?Are there specific types of therapy that are more effective than others for helping children overcome trauma? Does it differ depending on the type of trauma?Resources: Roadmap to Resilience Podcast series. www.roadmaptoreslience.orgThis podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.We talk with a panel of former foster youth about their stories and what helped them survive their trauma and succeed in life.In this episode, we cover:What were the two most important things in helping you heal and ultimately thrive after your years in foster care and early life trauma?Was their one or two people in your life who helped you overcome? What did they do to help?Why do you think you became a survivor when others in similar positions did not?If you are parents, how has your trauma from your early years impacted your parenting?While you are successful and are “survivors” do you still carry some of the baggage from your childhood?What advice would you give foster, adoptive, and kinship parents to be most helpful to the children in their care?This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What do teachers know about adoption? What are the misperceptions? We talk with two researchers on this topic: Dr. Hal Grotevant, the Rudd Family Foundation Chair in Psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, and Dr. Abbie Goldberg, a Professor of Psychology and current Director of Women’s & Gender Studies at Clark University.In this episode, we cover:How knowledgeable were teachers in understanding the impact of trauma?How knowledgeable were teachers in understanding the impact of attachment?How knowledgeable were teachers in understanding the impact of adoption?How knowledgeable were teacher sin understanding the impact of prenatal exposure?Was there a perception that adopted kids were “troubled”?What did they know about open adoption?How accepting were teachers to the idea of modifying assignments to reflect diverse families, including those formed by adoption?Do teachers know whether kids are adopted? Do they need to know? Do they feel comfortable asking this information?Did teachers present lessons that included the diversity that adoption represents?Does teacher training, either formal or in-service training, often include information on adoption?What can parents do to help their child’s teacher be more adoption-aware or adoption-sensitive?Where can listeners get more information on your research?The “Teachers and Adopted Children” Survey and the Factsheet for Teacher can be found here.This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How can you help you child succeed at school?  We talk with Heather Forbes, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the owner of the Beyond Consequences Institute. She specializes on the impact of trauma and is the author of Help for Billy and Classroom 180.In this episode, we cover:What are some of the specific issues that parents of foster and adopted kids need to consider when their children go back to school?Tips for helping kids transition into the new year.Is it better to address potentially sensitive issues up front before they happen, when they might not even happen, or wait to see if it comes up? For example, family tree assignments.What are some other potentially triggering school assignments for foster or adopted kids?How much of your child’s story should you share with your child’s teacher? How to balance the desire to keep your child’s history for them to decide who knows and sharing sensitive information with the teacher to help them work with your child.How to address the issue of your child’s past trauma and how it affects the way they behave?Why is it important to have a trauma-informed school?What can parents do to help their school and their child’s teacher become more trauma informed?A disproportionate number of adopted and foster kids have been prenatally exposed to alcohol and drugs. How does this exposure impact their education and time at school?This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building