Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I have two adopted twin boys who are 8 months old, and we've had them since birth. We've been on the fence for years about a big move outside of the country, but we're currently leaning towards leaving. My husband and, by extension, our kids have dual nationality with the country we'd go to. Thankfully, I'm also allowed to tag along.We currently live near a large family and support network from both sides of the family and would be mostly on our own except for a few distant relatives after the move. We are also close and in frequent contact with our sons' birth family, but they don't live near us so that relationship has always been planned to be a mostly long-distance relationship.We would plan on setting aside funds just for visiting our family and our birth family every one or two years, but ultimately all our children's family relationships will become long-distance. We worry about the move exacerbating feelings of abandonment or isolation from all sides of their family as they'd not only be raised in another culture but another language and continent. We all come from similar cultural backgrounds, so we aren't too worried about being able to keep them in touch with their birth culture. But we want to be sensitive to their particular needs as to how this could affect them as adoptees.Is there any research on how adoptees are affected by being adopted into larger vs smaller families? Or adoptees who move abroad or are adopted into immigrant families? Or is there some advice to be gleaned from families adopting internationally that would apply to our situation?Our children are our highest priority, and we want to set them up for success whether or not we move.Resources:Open Adoption (Resource)Self-Care for Parents & Caregivers (Resource)Creating a Family Online Support Group (Facebook)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a child over the age of 5? Join our discussion with Dr. Stephanie Bosco-Ruggiero. She has a PhD in Social Work from Fordham University and is co-author of the book Adopting Older Children: A Practical Guide to Adopting and Parenting Children Over Age Four.In this episode, we talk about:The greatest need in both foster care adoption and international adoption is to adopt kids 5 and older.  Adolescents have a bad reputation in general in our society and those in foster care or international child welfare institutions have an even worse reputation. These kids and youth may have challenging behaviors that will be hard to parent. (They also may not have challenging behaviors.)Why have they developed these behaviors? (grief and loss, trauma, mental health)What are some typical behaviors that are more difficult for parents?Tips for creating trust and attachment with older children. How to prevent these behaviors from influencing other kids in the family?     Special issues specific to older kids adopted internationally.Lack of ability to communicate. Cultural differences. Safety concerns, especially if there are younger children in the family. Sexually acting out. Physical abuse.Sibling relationships when adopting an older child.Contact with bio family members and former foster parentsTrying to establish rules with teens/tweens who have had too much freedom. Helping kids academically. Neuropsychological evaluations, IEPs,Support for adoptive familiesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My father-in-law was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and given a maximum of 6 months left to live. We learned this right before our home study for older child/foster care adoption was finalized. Do you have any advice for what we should do with our adoption process moving forward? I am worried if we match before my husband is done grieving, we could add additional trauma to the child, but there is no set timeline for grieving. How do we deal with our loss while helping a child get through their loss? Resources:Creating a Family Online Support Group (Facebook)Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource Page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting or fostering a child with Down Syndrome? Join our conversation with Dr. Sara Williams, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. She provides developmental evaluations and follow-up care for children with a variety of neurodevelopmental disabilities, including in the Thomas Center for Down Syndrome.In this episode, we discuss:What is Down syndrome?How common is it?What are the different types of Down syndrome? Is genetic testing routinely done when Down syndrome is suspected?What are some of the common physical traits of a person with Down syndrome? What are the common developmental disabilities caused by this disorder?What are the common intellectual disabilities caused by this disorder?Is there a way to know in advance how intellectually impacted a child may be? Do the symptoms differ depending on the type of Down syndrome the child has? What are the common mental health issues that people with this disorder may exhibit?What are some ways to determine the degree of impact if you adopt a child past infancy? Interventions that can help.How do these kids fit within the school system? What is the school system required to do?What are the common medical conditions that may accompany trisomy 21?What is the life expectancy of a person with Down syndrome?Is there a medical specialty that those considering adopting or fostering a child with Down syndrome should seek out?What are some common mental health issues and behavioral issues that may be more common in people with Down syndrome?How to find mental health and behavioral treatment for children and adults with Down syndrome?How does trauma interact with Down syndrome?Is attachment difficult for kids with Down syndrome who have experienced trauma?Are people with Down syndrome able to live independently in adulthood?What makes a difference in the prognosis for children with Down syndrome? Why should people consider adopting or fostering a child with Down syndrome?Resources:National Down Syndrome Society (list of specialized centers)Global Down Syndrome Reece’s Rainbow National Down Syndrome Adoption Network Project Search Understanding Down Syndrome American Academy of Pediatrics Clinical Report: Health Supervision for Children With Down SyndromeSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My 4-year-old foster son moved in 9 months ago. He will likely remain with me permanently, and the application is in progress. I was his 5th foster home when he moved in. There was neglect at his birth parents and abuse in a previous foster home. Last weekend he was being babysat by my sister and brother-in-law. They went to the basement to show him a toy, and he saw a large dog cage they were planning to sell online. He was immediately triggered, ran upstairs, hid under the pillows in a bed, and it took 10 minutes to feel safe. He was obviously placed in a dog cage at some point. How do I support him, talk to him about what happened, and make him feel safe? How should I support him and help him calm his nervous system if he is triggered again? Resources:A Conversation with Dr. Bruce Perry About Trauma6 Crucial Things Every Adoptive Parent Must DoUsing Scripts to Build Trust with Foster & Adopted KidsSuggested Book List - Kids Who Have Experienced TraumaSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join our panel of four former foster youth to learn what they wished foster parents and others knew about being in foster care.In this episode, we discuss:Tell us the story of your involvement with foster care and the child welfare system.What was something that your foster parent(s) did that helped you cope?What did your foster parents do that made things harder for you?What are some of the myths that you hear about kids in foster care?If listeners are considering becoming foster parents, what should they consider to help them decide if they are the right fit to be foster parents?Resources:The Faces of Foster Care Volume 1, 2, and 3 Resources - Dave ArmstrongWhy Me My Fight For Life (Book)From Gangs To Greece (Book)www.SenseiDave.com (Speaking page)www.upna.net (Coaching/Mentoring)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: First, I wanted to thank you for your incredible podcast. I’m not a parent (I only recently graduated from college), but I have volunteered in group homes for foster care children for the past couple of years. Your podcast has not only helped me to work more effectively with the kids I see but has also given me insight into what I want to do in my career. I hope to research and work with families involved with the foster care system in the future, and your podcast has allowed me to learn from so many interesting and diverse perspectives. My question is: how do you balance giving children who have experienced trauma both a sense of control and structure? From the kids I’ve worked with, I’ve noticed that many of them tend to act out the most when they feel like they don’t have control. This makes sense to me, as I imagine almost all kids in foster care have had a severe lack of control in their lives. However, I’ve also heard that kids who have experienced trauma benefit from having a strict structure in their lives. These two ideas seem somewhat antithetical to each other, but both seem important. How do you recommend parents and practitioners give children both a sense of control over their lives and provide them with structure so they have a sense of safety? Thank you again for your wonderful podcast, it truly has made such a difference in how I think about the foster care system. I look forward to listening to your podcast every week. Resources:Free E-Guide: Parenting a Child Exposed to TraumaHelping a Child Heal from TraumaParenting Kids with Challenging BehaviorRaising Foster ChildrenSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.If you are adopting or have adopted within the last several years you should join our conversation today about claiming the Adoption Tax Credit for 2024. Our guests will be Becky Wilmoth, an Enrolled Agent and Adoption Tax Credit Specialist with Bill’s Tax Service; and Josh Kroll, the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center coordinator at Families Rising.In this episode, we cover:What is the Adoption Tax Credit for adoption being claimed on 2024 federal taxes? What is a “credit,” and how does it differ from a deduction or tax savings?How would you use the Adoption Tax Credit if you get a tax refund every year?Should you still apply the credit to your federal income taxes if you don't have any federal tax liability?What types of adoptions are included or excluded? Are kinship adoptions covered? Are kinship guardianship arrangements covered? What if the child never was involved with the foster care system?Can you get credit for each adoption you complete even if completed in the same year? What about adopting siblings at the same time?What is a Qualified Adoption Expense for purposes of the Adoption Tax Credit 2024?When can you claim the Adoption Tax Credit?Special Needs Adoption: How does the Adoption Tax Credit differ for adoptions from foster care? What does the IRS accept as proof of “special needs”?What is a $0 subsidy agreement?Special needs child for international adoptionCan you reclaim your expenses for an attempted adoption that did not result in a placement (failed adoption)? How?What income level (Modified Adjusted Gross Income) is excluded?How long can the credit be carried over?What if you didn’t claim the Adoption Tax Credit when eligible? Is the Adoption Tax Credit something you can amend your tax return for, and if so, how do you amend it, and how many years back?Will the Adoption Tax Credit offset self-employment tax?How does the Secure Act impact claiming the Adoption Tax Credit for 2024 taxes? What should you do if the child’s Social Security Number is unavailable when you file? Should you use an Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number (ATIN #) if you don’t have the child’s social security number?How does the Adoption Tax Credit work in conjunction with employee adoption benefits? For special needs adoption?If you adopt, can you still get the Child Tax Credit?What do you need to get the Child Tax Credit for your adopted child?Do you need to send any documentation to the IRS when you file your taxes? What type of documentation should you keep in your records?How do you find a tax specialist knowledgeable about Adoption Tax Credit? The Adoption Tax Credit used to be a refundable credit. Do you think the new administration will impact the refundability legislation? Advocate for refundability Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I adopted our now seven-year-old son from South Africa two years ago. He is the best. We cannot believe how lucky we are to have this joyful little boy in our family, and we owe much of our success to what we've learned from your show and resources, so thank you. Although our son feels pretty easy compared to some of the challenges we hear about, he still requires a lot. A lot of time, patience, energy, school appointments, doctor's appointments, therapy appointments, etc. In any case, we are now considering whether to embark on a second adoption of an older child three to six years old from South Africa. While I see a lot of resources for preparing siblings and managing birth order disruptions, which is not the case for us, we are wondering what parents of adopted kids should consider when deciding whether to adopt another child. For example, is it better for our son to have all of the resources, meaning time, patience, energy, et cetera, and stability we can provide an only child given his needs and the fact that he was adopted later? Should we expect more of the same with a second child or are there different challenges to raising new siblings who both have trauma? What should we be aware of or thinking about when making this decision?Resources:Sibling RelationshipsParenting Adopted ChildrenSelf-Care for Parents and CaregiversSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a child this year? We've got answers to all (or most) of your questions. Join our discussion with Teresa Bernu, the Executive Director at Adoption Center of Illinois. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and has worked extensively in the areas of domestic infant adoption, foster care, and guardianship. We will also talk with Steve Valdez, the Chief Operating Officer at Hand in Hand International Adoptions.  He holds a Master of Divinity and an M.A. in Psychology. He’s an adopted dad of 5 kids through foster care adoption.In this episode, we discuss:Domestic infant private adoption in the USWhat is the process?What are the reasons that pregnant moms are placing their children for adoption?Matching-Expectant parent choiceThe Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC)Open adoptionSpecial needs of children availableHow long does it take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?How do failed matches when an expectant mom decides to parent rather than go through with an adoption plan impact the cost of domestic adoption?Adoption agency and adoption attorneyWhat is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting a baby?Adoptions from foster care in the USWhat is the process?Adopting your foster childAdopting a waiting childWhat are the reasons that children come into foster care in the US?What age and race of child is available for adoption from foster care?Special needs? Trauma, prenatal substance exposureHow long does it take?How much does it cost?What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting from foster care?International adoptions to the USWhat is the process?What types of special needs do children available for adoption from abroad have?How long does it take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting internationally?Additional resources:Adoptions in the US: How Many? How Much? How Long?Choosing an Adoption Agency or AttorneySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building