Love Life With Matthew Hussey

Exploring the dilemma of being friends with an ex who still has feelings, discussing the challenges and complexities of navigating such a relationship with honesty and compassion.

  We all do it: Make To-Do lists a mile long and then tell ourselves we’ve had a productive day if we’ve checked off a bunch of “stuff” before our head hits the pillow. But is that really the measure of a significant life? In today’s episode I argue that working hard doesn’t necessarily equal growing, and accomplishing tasks doesn’t necessarily equal real accomplishment. I offer a different way to look at your “to-dos” and suggest a series of questions you can ask yourself to ensure you’re getting the balance and sustainable success that brings true meaning to your day – and your life.   

Stop everything and listen to this episode right now. In it, I’m going to give you a quick tip that will get you immediate results with that nagging “to-do” you’ve been putting off forever. (You know which one I’m talking about.) Overwhelm has stood in your way of accomplishing something important for way too long, and today we’re going to “break the seal” and just start the damn thing. OK? OK! Hit “play” and let’s go…

So you’ve got strong feelings for a guy… He’s funny, he’s handsome, he’s kind, but there’s just one tiny problem: he just so happens to be your good friend’s ex-boyfriend. What do you do? Is it possible to date him and NOT screw up your friendship forever? In today’s episode, we look at the two issues at the core of this tricky dilemma, and I give you the only solution that could possibly make the situation work. I even hand you a script you can use to talk it out with your BFF that might just get her on board with the idea so you can actually have it both ways. (You’re welcome.)

Should you be ashamed of The Booty Call? If you’re just having fun, and you’re really ok with a casual fling, then I say, go for it. The problem is, there’s often more going on behind this so-called “arrangement” – feelings, expectations, unexpressed hopes…and emotional issues that run very deep. Who’s to blame when the balance of power goes awry? And what should you do if you decide you want more? We unravel this sticky entanglement in today’s LOVE Life, and I help you decide if your Booty Call really makes you happy, or if you should hang up on him for good.

As someone who gives love advice for a living, I’ve heard it all. Or so I thought… until I got this insane email question from a listener. Now let me clarify that the question is gross not in a raunchy way (although there is a sexual component to it; nothing too scandalous)… but because of the self-centered, transactional nature of the relationship it depicts. At this point you’ll probably tune in because I’ve piqued your curiosity, but I encourage you to listen because there’s a lesson we can all learn here about – if nothing else – what NOT to do in a healthy relationship.

Ok, here’s the formula to calculate the time it should take to get over your breakup: Grab a pen. I’ll wait…OK, now add the number of months you were together, and divide it by the number of fights you had about getting married and then… Come on, you know as well as I do that there’s no magic number when it comes to grieving the loss of your ex. But there IS a secret to lessening the pain and moving on to an exciting new beginning. In today’s episode, I tell you how.

“Be yourself.” To most people, this means, “you’re perfect, just as you are.” (Or, at worst, it’s considered a harmless cliché.)  But I believe this is awful advice, and in today’s LOVE Life I’m going to tell you why.  By the end of my rant – ahem, by the end of this episode – you’ll discover the mindset that will actually allow you to stretch beyond the “you” you always have been, and to grow, achieve, and become the absolute best version of “yourself.”

“There’s so much PASSION with this new guy I’m dating! We can’t keep our hands off of each other!” “I just want a job I can feel PASSIONATE about…” People throw around the “P” word every day, and it certainly sounds like something to strive for. After all, you should feel strongly about the important things in life, right? Well, in this episode of LOVE Life, I share my opinion on the topic of passion. It’s slightly controversial, but I think you’ll agree with me when you understand my reasoning behind it. So let everyone else chase the “sugar rush” of passion. Meanwhile, you can pursue something worthwhile that actually lasts.

Learn a counter-intuitive mind hack to get more done by lowering expectations and focusing on the task at hand. Discover how setting realistic goals and breaking tasks into smaller steps can increase productivity and help overcome the belief of constantly striving for perfection.