Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

Hi ass kickers!Welcome to another Listener Q & A episode! I have my friend Kate on again as we tackle two questions from the YKAL community. Here is question 1:Hi Andrea,I found your recovery series compelling and now I know why. I am involved in a long-term relationship with an alcoholic (or at least I think so).My question is this: I do not know whether I should stay or go. I try to do research on a book to read and to get more information and it is pretty confusing. My therapist agrees that I should leave him. I see book reviews on books that say I should love and understand him and then he and I (codependent) can both heal. I do not know what book to read. I do not know what to do. I just know that my brain is big ball of string when I try to untangle this, and my heart is broken in pieces. -KathrynKate and I are both in agreement that Kathryn should start by taking care of herself, and give her a couple of resources to do that. We discuss the very important thing Kathryn should be clear about before she decides to leave (if she ever decides that) that anyone can contemplate before leaving a committed relationship.**************************************************Question 2 is:Curveballs.I'm not even talking about major curveballs. On Monday I had a goal that I was going to clamp down on for my business. Today was the day.Then the landlady knocks on the door to say that today is the day the guy is coming to paint, and sorry she didn't tell me earlier, she didn't want to bother me yesterday.Then I decide to make a plan with a friend of mine to go to her house, so that I don't end up sleeping in paint fumes all day and trying to work in chaos. It works out so perfectly because she happens to be in my area at that very moment and she is able to pick up.The point is, that day ended up being more of a tagging along doing my friend's errands (one of which has been a huge blessing - saving me a bit of money). But, I couldn't help feeling like I "should" be clamping down on the original goal.I'll be honest and say that some of my anxiety was due to the fear of lack of focus when I was not in my own home, and I am still learning about how to put up boundaries when I'm with other people and say "hey, I'm kinda working, could you leave me alone?" I am still learning how not to always be the accommodating rather than a decision maker.I just am tired of that and wanna grow up. So, how does an empowered woman, not go down that spiral and instead recognise what's happening when there is a curveball and use it efficiently? -NikiKate and I answer what seems like two questions from Niki: how to say “no” in a polite, yet firm way, and how to surrender to life when things don’t go as planned. We both have different viewpoints about productivity, share our personal experience there and give Niki advice about what to ask herself in those frustrating situations.http://www.yourkickasslife.com/174  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m excited for you to hear this episode, because it’s the first time I've had a witch on the podcast! Just kidding (sort of) --today my guest is psychic medium Laura Powers, and she’s showing us how each of us can access our own intuition to learn about our true selves.As Laura shares, we can actually be proactive and take different approaches to reach out to our angels (or guides, as she calls them). We can also learn to recognize when they are trying to reach out to us, and then open ourselves up to this communication.I think you’ll be fascinated what she has to say, as this episode of the podcast is a real eye opener!http://yourkickasslife.com/173  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There’s a chance that anyone listening to this podcast has dealt with feelings of anxiety and depression. Our guest today is Quentin Vennie, and he’s openly battled and survived not only these afflictions, but he’s also overcome addiction and now encourages others to be proactive in caring for their mental health. In this episode, Quentin talks openly about his struggles growing up being a male in the community he was raised in and the expectations that society had on him as being a man. He shares how this contributed to his anxiety and depression disorders, but by listening you’ll hear how he was able to use different modalities and paths to process and for healing himself.http://yourkickasslife.com/172  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m so excited to bring you today’s show with guest Maria Felipe. Marie is an author who’s achieved success as a model and actress, and used to be a WWF hostess! She has so much energy that it’s infectious, and you’re going to absolutely love listening to her story! As you’ll hear, Maria’s own journey started with her trying to find happiness inside her, and she started doing the deep work to heal herself. She recognized that we’ve been run by a society that is ego driven, and this makes us feel that fear and sadness is normal. Maria is trying to change this thinking though through her work, and to show people that happiness and feeling at peace is actually normal.http://yourkickasslife.com/171  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My friend Beth Grant posted something on Facebook recently that caught my attention. She said,“Purpose is a need of the ego, to make it feel important. I'm much more interested in self-expression. I would much more focus on PATH than purpose. I would want you to do that, too. To find your true path and live it. Every path has a purpose, after all ... life is a learning experience and your path is a means of self-expression.I've said it a thousand times ... your purpose in life is to be yourself. That's it. It's not more complicated than that.”I’ve written about purpose before. I’ve always felt it was this thing in personal development that some gurus treat as a kind of secret. That once we find our purpose in life we’ll FINALLY feel like we have all our shit together, we’ll feel like we’re “fixed”, and we can join their secret club and wait for the others to join in. And I think that’s bullshit.I do feel like I’m lucky and not lucky that I feel I’ve found my purpose, but lucky that I don’t feel the need to find IT. The One Thing. The ultimate portion of my life that will make me feel fulfilled.To be clear, I actually DO feel like I’ve found my purpose. It’s not life coaching, or mothering my children, or even speaking out about things I’m passionate about. My purpose, like Beth mentions above, is my path. It’s my life.And I do think that when one does dive into personal development, this becomes a trap. Just another topic to entice people with like the dangling carrot.I totally understand where this comes from on a deep level. We want to know that our lives matter. We want to feel that we matter. That we’re not just taking up space in this crowded, noisy world.And I wish I could snap my fingers and just tell you, “Let it go, sister! Your purpose is your path. Just accept it.” and all is well and you can skip along your life feeling relieved. Maybe it is this easy, but what if it’s not? Quite honestly, I don’t think it’s my job to convince you. What I can tell you is one of the things that is paramount in working on is surrender and self-trust.Surrendering means that you give up the notion that there is this one true destiny for you. That you give up that you have to know The Answer and that if you can just figure it out, you’ll be happier, and that’s your solution. Surrendering doesn’t have to mean you pray over your crystals or mediate to the archangel/goddess/priestess of the day to show you the way. I think those are all fine things to do but that’s not how I do it.Read the rest of the article HEREResources from this post: What if you haven’t found your “thing” yet?http://yourkickasslife.com/170 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/169Since many of you are new to the YKAL community (if you are, Haiiii!) I thought it would be helpful to record a quick episode and post about what’s coming for the rest of the year as well as what you can expect in 2018. All I can say is: GET READY TO KICK SOME ASS.First, my free workshop on my 3 Most Effective Ways to Manage Your Inner-Critic is coming up on September 21st. Go here to sign up for that or text the word GREMLIN to 444999.The class: Kick Your Gremlin’s Ass is coming next week too. This is the LAST TIME I will run this live. If you feel your life is being run by negative self-talk, this class is for you! (If you sign up for the workshop above, there’s special bonuses and a price break.)MY NEW BOOK HOW TO STOP FEELING LIKE SHIT COMES OUT ON JANUARY 2nd! (Pre-order here, y’all) There will be a study group for the book led by yours truly. Registration opens late January, and we’ll start sometime in February. Go here to be the first to know about that.I’ll also be doing a book tour and hitting cities for book signings, meet-ups and small, exclusive workshops. When I sent out a survey a few months ago many of you said instead of doing multi-day retreats, you’d love to be able to come to a half-day workshop, so that’s what I’m doing! If you want to know if I’m coming to a city near you, click here and sign up to be notified!RAISE HELL is coming in April. OMG, y’all. I’m so excited for this class I can barely stand it. Raise Hell is about you taking back your life. It’s about figuring out what you want, what you need, asking for it, and going after it with support from me and your group of soul sisters. It’s about accountability and feeling fear and walking through it. It’s about you.THE MENTORSHIP is coming next fall. We’re diving deeper into things like core beliefs, vulnerability, negative self-talk, shame resilience, and whatever primary focus you bring. There will also be a weekend retreat and 1:1 sessions with me included in this group. For a small group of women by application only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/168 Hey Ass-Kickers! This is an episode that’s a little more “woo-woo” than normal, but I’ve just been really attracted to these types of topics lately – and y’all get to come along with me! Lisa Fabrega is a truth-telling coach, writer and innovator in the realm of leadership, and today we’re talking all about our souls and how they will constantly need to be re-aligned due to the societal pressures we face. She also shares with us how we can start to listen to our souls, and a whole lot more interesting information that is sure to get you assessing your own situation.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/167  “They call me Cha Cha...because I’ m the best dancer at St. Bernadette’s”Everyone has their favorite character from the movie Grease. Maybe you relate to Sandy and her quest for true love, or goofball Frenchie.For me, my absolute love affair has always been with the character Cha Cha DiGregorio.Of course she’s a fictional character, played in the movie version by the late Annette Charles, but even as a child I’ve loved her. She played a smaller role in the movie, but it didn’t matter to me. Everything she was about, I loved. However, the attributes of her character that I adored about her, are also the things we, as women, are not particularly celebrated for. In other words, even in the movie, Cha Cha was not well liked.First, we are introduced to Cha Cha by Kenickie, where she says, “They call me Cha Cha...because I’m the best dancer at St. Bernadette’s” This woman actually does what we are told not to do: brags about herself. She knows she’s the best damn dancer and she tells people SHE JUST MET. HELL YES. And holy crap, she IS a great dancer.Then, she sees Danny on the dance floor, grabs him and they start dancing, Sandy storms off in a huff. Sandy could have stood up to Cha Cha, she could have said, “Hey Danny, WTF, you came to the dance with me so why are you dancing her her?” But noooo, since we all love Sandy so much, we all feel sorry for her and hate Cha Cha for being such a bitch.Here she is leaving all “WAHHH, someone stole my date and I won’t fight to get him back.”But, the way I looked at it was WOW. Cha Cha sees what she wants and goes after it. And no, I don’t condone snatching other people’s dates, but if we look at this strictly as symbolism, Cha Cha is a woman who doesn’t give a shit if she hurts someone’s feelings. She’s not concerned about “playing nice”So, she and Danny and killing it on the dance floor, and then this happensHoly shit.Read the rest of the article HERE  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/166Today we have Isabel Foxen Duke joining me again on the podcast, this time to talk about how women are experiencing the diet culture. I love having Isabel as a guest and I’m excited because she is an absolute expert on this topic! In today’s world, women are getting so many messages from the media and the body image issues that arise can lead us into multiple behaviors. I open up in this episode about my own past relationships with food and eating, and it’s something that I haven’t shared like this in any of the past episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

http://yourkickasslife.com/165Hey Ass Kickers!I’m joined today by best selling author (and so much more!), Shannon Kaiser. Shannon’s new book is called The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself, which goes along so well with what we talk about here on the Your Kick-Ass Life Podcast.Through her work, Shannon shows others how to fall in love with their lives and fearlessly live their full potential. But do we really know what self-love is, and how to love the parts of us that we think are unlovable? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices