Angry At The Right Things

Triggers are when we find ourselves re-experiencing an unconscious memory from the past, haunting us in the present. Yet we can unlearn our triggers by understanding the context, and integrating with our younger selves. Integration leads to a wholeness far more beautiful than if we'd never been broken, just like Kintsugi pottery. 

Delusions are far more common than we would believe, as many people believe themselves to be a perpetual innocent victim. When we live with such a person, we are likely to develop hallucinations as a response. Bronwyn leads us in an Integration Exercise to rescue ourselves for once and for all.

A lack of attunement from a loved one is not neutral. It is hatred. When someone we love fails to empathize with us, our body suffers. Let’s learn to recognize hate and live a hate-free life, filling the void with love.

We create the atmosphere around us, whether we realize it or not. Bronwyn gives two practical examples of integration which heal the rift within us, allowing us to see ourselves as we truly are. Observation changes reality, as unraveling lies creates order and beauty.

Explore the hidden ties between shame, dissociation, and a lack of empathy. Personal stories illustrate the impact of shame on relationships, especially with loved ones. Discover how anxiety and depression can be seen as dissociative states that numb our feelings. Everyday examples highlight the unresponsiveness in daily interactions. The discussion emphasizes the need for awareness of shame's effects on our cognition and relationships, and ultimately proposes love as a powerful antidote to overcome these emotional monsters.

Humans are designed to live in the tension of love and truth, which involves trusting ourselves and learning wisdom. When we do this, we live according to the grain of the universe, becoming humans who are both powerful and good.

Most of us are not familiar with conversations of gravitas and meaning, but rather, empty chatter, where people talk at -- not with -- us. This keeps us from understanding the weight of words, and from learning to listen. The truth is, words allow us to see into the soul of each another and ourselves. Words beget life and healing.

Emotions stagnate in our bodies, making us sick. We release this blocked energy through words and actions that lead to truth, and move us closer to living in reality.

Many parents find themselves reacting to their child's differentiation, which feels like rejection. This hurts both the child and the parent, and can thwart a child's development.  Parenting is the toughest job ever, but it is also an opportunity to grow up. At the end of the day, parenting isn’t about us, but our kids. If we lose sight of this it will be unnecessarily painful for everyone. But as we can learn to inhabit this paradox, it creates a fountain of joy, peace, and life that overflows, watering gardens all around.

This is an amazing interview by Beth Irias, LMFT, on the the Light Up the Couch podcast for therapists. Don't be intimidated if you are a lay-person though -- the principles are for all humans!  If you are a therapist, know that the Light Up the Couch podcast by Clearly Clinical is a great way to receive continuing education units! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmHOA07fwo7kW3_ytEhIzoedC8Jyks4yo