Angry At The Right Things

OCD develops when we dissociate from our anger and it takes on a life of its own, becoming something that feels scary and out of control. When we finally allow ourselves to connect to the anger and understand it, it’s no longer dangerous or guilt-producing. When we are responsible for our anger, we master it, instead of it mastering us... and making us sick.

We live in a culture, including within the mental health community, that is pain-avoidant. Pain isn’t enjoyable, but it serves a vital purpose, both physically and mentally. It’s there to give us wisdom and illuminate truth. As much as we humans are inclined to avoid pain, it’s where the treasure lies. All wisdom and truth, like buried treasure, is found in the heart of the abyss. The depths are dark and frightening, but those who make the journey resurface with gold. It’s the Hero’s Journey, and the treasure we find is ourselves.

Listen in on an incredibly vulnerable conversation between Bronwyn & Kyira, both therapists, as they share their lived experiences and insights of emotional suppression. Specifically, how suppression of past emotions affects the present, causing unnecessary pain.  Bronwyn leads Kyira in a spontaneous and powerful integration exercise, which brings closure and completion.  Kyira Wackett is a Licensed Professional Counselor and host of the Untethering Shame podcast. This episode is originally from Untethering Shame. 

No one rescues anyone else, but a true healer helps us rescue ourselves. Any philosophy that teaches otherwise, just isn’t true. Each one of us is more powerful than we know.

Complicated grief stems from never having fully procured the approval of our attachment figures, which creates shame and compulsive behavior. Yet we can give ourselves closure and peace, putting parental ghosts to rest. Bronwyn leads us in an Integration exercise to do just that.

It's imperative to know the difference between a healthy heart and an underdeveloped one. A heart needs to be adequately defended, but not excessively. A healthy human has empathy for both self and other, and learns to surrender false hope for people who refuse to embrace their humanity.

Humans are deep caverns, that should never be taken at face value, but understood, through deep listening. A good therapist is like a home-birth midwife, who knows that healing, like birth, is the natural human trajectory, given the right conditions.

Forget about attachment style -- what truly assesses our emotional maturity is our ability to self-nurture. All we need is a commitment to ourselves that we are worth the work, because we ARE. And the work isn’t laborious or draining, but rejuvenating and delightful. Nurturing ourselves is, well… nurturing.

Triggers are when we find ourselves re-experiencing an unconscious memory from the past, haunting us in the present. Yet we can unlearn our triggers by understanding the context, and integrating with our younger selves. Integration leads to a wholeness far more beautiful than if we'd never been broken, just like Kintsugi pottery. 

Delusions are far more common than we would believe, as many people believe themselves to be a perpetual innocent victim. When we live with such a person, we are likely to develop hallucinations as a response. Bronwyn leads us in an Integration Exercise to rescue ourselves for once and for all.