2 Pages with MBS

Have you ever done a trust fall? The strong hands of your team catch you and support you, and in that moment, years of resentment, dissatisfaction with the underlying power structures, and petty politics are washed away; we are all together, united! At the heart of this version of trust-building, there is certainty. I know what’s going to happen. I can trust the future. I’ve just finished reading Margaret Heffernan’s wonderful book, Uncharted, and there, she makes the compelling case for the opposite. Navigating the future requires comfort in uncertainty, ambiguity and big dreams, she posits. So what’s the role of confidence in this? Is vulnerability an anathema to confidence, or actually paradoxically foundational to it? Rachel Botsman joins me today for an insightful conversation about her experience with the exploration of trust. She has many titles: an author who writes about trust, a lecturer at Oxford University, and a well-regarded keynote speaker. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Rachel reads two pages from ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain. [reading begins at 8:50]  Hear us discuss:“One of my biggest pet peeves is when we conflate confidence with capability and competence.” [15:28] | The connection between humility and trust: “To have humility, you have to be able to sit with uncertainty.” [15:42] | Gaining status when you lack privilege. [16:50] | Having the courage to admit uncertainty: “When you say what you can’t do as much as what you can do, that is rocket fuel for trust.” [21:24] | Implementing trust in organisations. [25:14]

Christmastime in Australia is in mid-summer. The Northern hemisphere traditions of ugly sweaters, roasted meats, and roaring fires really just don’t vibe there. We’ve even got a Christmas carol about Santa’s sleigh being pulled along by kangaroos, rather than reindeer. Many years ago, on a hot Christmas day, my family packed a picnic and headed for Tidbinbilla, the nature reserve about an hour’s drive away. When we arrived, we laid out all the food, hung up some wind chimes, and set up a table and chairs in the middle of a river. Sitting there, eating my mum’s plum pudding with the water flowing by waist-deep, with my family - I knew I was happy. Of course, happiness is elusive. The stories and expectations we’ve internalised about the requirements to achieve happiness are mostly illusions. Stephanie Harrison is a champion for a wiser path to happiness, or as she calls it, The New Happy. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Stephanie reads two pages from ‘The Way of the Bodhisattva’ by Śāntideva. [reading begins at 12:40]Hear us discuss:The reluctance to give back to others: “The path to experiencing fulfilment and well-being is the ways in which we relate to other people.” [16:15] | The process of learning to serve. [20:06] | Transcending ‘The Eye.’ [24:48] | Is happiness always a spiritual practice?: “Spirituality is about helping us to be human.” [27:28] | Self-care and self-renewal. [34:35]

I have a new book coming out in January, it’s called How to Begin. The book is about setting a worthy goal for yourself; something worthy of your life, something thrilling, important and daunting. I know you probably want that in theory, but in practice - what does it take to find a worthy goal, and what does it take to commit to it?Naphtali Bryant, Director of Learning & Organization Development at Netflix, can tell us how to do that. He has lived in two seemingly different worlds: the marines and the world of learning and development. He’s experienced his fair share of being pulled in many different directions, but, much like Stretch Armstrong, he has always been able to keep it together. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Naphtali reads two pages from ‘The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth’ by John C. Maxwell. [reading beings at 13:10] Hear us discuss: How tension facilitates growth: “A rubber band is useless if it’s not stretched.” [17:47] | Articulating your purpose. [20:48] | Choosing projects to pursue: Are your motives pure? [23:19] | “Even though you’re being stretched, you will always return to who you are and the core of why you do what you do. It’s not going to break you.” [28:38]

I’ve never been that great at following a map. When I’d go hiking or tried orienteering, I’d struggle to put it all together. Now, we’ve all got phones, so the physical journeys are easier, but navigating the world? That’s as tricky as ever. There’s rarely a map, rarely a compass. Often, what we need is a guide. So, who’s your hero, your guide for how you navigate the world? Whose playbook do you follow? Lots of us might pick a kind, gentle type of guy, or maybe someone from the classics. But, who would pick the scheming politics of Niccolò Machiavelli, author of the infamous guide to politics, The Prince? Stacey Vanek Smith is an author, a journalist, and the co-host of NPR's ‘The Indicator from Planet Money.’ She's also on a mission to rehabilitate Machiavelli. There’s much to learn from him, she says, especially when your own needs are compromised by power imbalances. In this episode, Stacey discusses the ups and downs of finding your inner Machiavelli. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Stacey reads two pages from ‘How Proust Can Change Your Life’ by Alain de Botton. [reading begins at 8:07]Hear us talk about: Sitting with the ambiguity and messiness that accompany complexity: “You allow people the complexity of their own experiences and points of view, and the conclusions they draw from it.” [14:36] | Generosity when negotiating. [17:43] | Thinking about power: women versus men. [21:15] | Structural inequities of ‘finding your inner Machiavelli’: “There is a gift in having to fight for things.” [23:26] | Sense of agency. [26:55]

How do you head for the heights and not lose yourself? Is it possible to be ambitious and strive for a worthy goal, and still stay grounded? Well, wait. What exactly is groundedness? According to Brad Stulberg, there’s more to it than meets the eye. Brad has just published the third of a trilogy of books, including Peak Performance, The Passion Paradox, and most recently, The Practice of Groundedness. He’s not just an author, though; he’s also a researcher and coach on human performance, sustainable success, and well-being. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Brad reads two pages from ‘The Sane Society’ by Eric Fromm. [reading begins at 10:20] Hear us discuss: Does the arrival fallacy affect all generations? [15:29] | Navigating struggle and ‘failure.’ [19:01] | Pondering and nurturing a ‘deep community.’ [22:19] | Balancing short-term demands and long-term commitment: “The intellect is what can motivate, but the practice has to be really concrete, otherwise it breaks down very easily.” [24:56] | Becoming more involved in your community. [28:09] | “You don’t just become grounded. It’s not just a switch that you flick. It’s an ongoing practice.” [30:48] 

I’m seven, playing cricket in my backyard in Canberra. I’m batting, my seventy-year-old grandmother is bowling, and I hit an amazing shot. Granny, the most competitive person I have ever met, hurls herself sideways and plucks an amazing catch inches from the ground; I utterly lose my mind. I throw the bat, I cry, I stomp off the field, and I lock myself in my room. Turns out, I was as competitive as my grandmother … and I wasn’t much of a gracious loser. Nichola Raihani is a fan of cooperation and has much to say about its relationship with competition in our everyday lives. Nichola is a Professor of Evolution and Behaviour and a Royal Society University Research Fellow at University College London, and the author of the newly released book, The Social Instinct: How Cooperation Shaped the World. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Nichola reads two pages from ‘On the Origin of Species’ by Charles Darwin. [reading begins at 25:10] Hear us discuss:Cooperation and competition: “Cooperation is ultimately a form of competition.” [5:36] | Engineering and increasing cooperation. [32:35] | How punishment impacts cooperation: “The threat of punishment can be quite effective to induce cooperation, but when it is actually executed, it can cause cooperation to completely unravel.” [38:00] | “A lot of the time, the reason people are cooperative is because it feels really good to help other people.” [46:41] 

Jenny Valentish reading from William Giraldi’s The Hero’s Body and discussing the ups and downs of reinventing yourself. How far have you pushed yourself? What’s the most fragile edge of yourself that you’ve stumbled out towards? If I had to choose one instance, it would be the time I ran a marathon with no training. I came in last, and I came in at the very limit of what I could’ve done. I was at my edge. Jenny Valentish has explored the edges, both light and dark, not only in her writing, but in living her life. Jenny’s the author of Everything Harder Than Everyone Else, and a journalist. She joins me today to discuss the journey of reinvention. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Jenny reads two pages from ‘The Hero’s Body’ by William Giraldi. [reading begins at 9:34] Hear us talk about: The place for joy in reinvention. [14:45] | Is satisfaction attainable?: “The paradox of being very goal-oriented is that goals have disappointment built into them.” [18:07] | Celebrating the moment. [23:40] | Managing ‘the crash’: “There’s no rush. It can take a couple of years for an idea to slot into place, so don’t panic.” [25:18] | Uncovering what’s next. [27:57]

Tom Vanderbuilt reading from David Epstein’s Range and discussing the art of beginning and learning new skills.There’s a New Yorker story called The Dolt by Donald Bartheleme. The final sentence reads thus: ‘Endings are elusive, middles are nowhere to be found, but worst of all is to begin, to begin, to begin.’ Tom Vanderbilt, journalist, and author, calls himself a perpetual beginner. He has written a little about a lot of things and has repeatedly been put in interesting positions. This has enabled him to write his most recent book: Beginners: The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning, and share the ideal thinking we should adopt when facing those ‘beginner’s challenges’ that arise when learning new things. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/Tom reads two pages from ‘Range’ by David Epstein. [reading begins at 8:45] Hear us talk about: How the exploration of various skills influences a writer. [13:04] | The art of beginning and learning: “We’re all beginners in our unique ways, and also in the same way.” [14:55] | Surviving conscious incompetence: “Progress is not always a linear process upwards.” [18:40] | Does it help to wallow in your mistakes? [22:34] | Productive mistakes. [25:07] | “Skill learning is mainly unconscious.” [27:57] | How to become an improved teacher. [32:25]

Here’s a saying I heard once - it used to be hilarious, now I guess it’s just painfully true: “Inside every old person is a young person wondering ‘What the hell just happened here?!’” When you hit midlife, is it just a slower, creakier version of being a thirty-year-old, or do things actually shift? What is contentment or ambition? What actually matters? Kieran Setiya is a professor of philosophy at MIT in Boston, and the author of Midlife: A Philosophical Guide. In this episode, he shares the fundamentals of navigating problems and finding existential value in the midst of a crisis. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Kieran reads two pages from ‘Nicomachean Ethics’ by Aristotle. [reading begins at 7:50] Hear us discuss: Atelic activities and existential value. [13:37] | When to settle and when to disrupt: “Looking for an algorithm to tell you how to solve your life is not the way to do it.” [18:59] | Death’s role in shaping a meaningful life: “Thinking about the finitude of human life has changed my sense of what actually matters.” [24:41] |Changes in ambition when navigating midlife. [31:18] 

When I think of philosophy, I think ... lots of words, mostly humourless. So, it’s extraordinary when someone can make me think more wisely and gratefully about life using very few words. Jessica Hagy is one of those people. She is an author and cartoonist, best known for her blog Indexed. Her most recent book is How to be Fearless in 7 Simple Steps. Get‌ ‌book‌ ‌links‌ ‌and‌ ‌resources‌ ‌at‌ https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/ Jessica reads two pages from Michael Finkel’s The Stranger in the Woods, the Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit [Reading starts at 07:45]Hear us talk about:Coming to humour through language [03:05] | What we can learn from people at the extreme end of normal [11:50] | How to find new points of input [15:00] | Being fearless [16:45] | What we really want to be when we grow up [20:35] | The importance of structure [25:15]