Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick
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Mar 22, 2023 • 59min

S16E6: Why You're Choosing The Wrong Partners w/ Psychotherapist Marc Sholes

What happens when your "type" doesn't seem to work, yet you keep gravitating towards people with similar characteristics over and over again? We're here to learn how to reset our romantic GPS with Marc Sholes so we don't keep steering toward the wrong partners. We discuss how attachment style plays into the partners you choose, when to work through a rough patch vs. accept it's not the right partner for you, and how to start making different choices that lead to different outcomes for your love life.Learn more about Marc's work at https://www.marcsholeslcsw.com/ and check out his book 'Reset Your Romantic GPS'Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview w/ iHeart Podcasts available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode is sponsored by:Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Hers: Get access to medical providers for help with anxiety and depression. For more information visit forhers.com/springNux Activeware: Get 20% off your purchase at nuxactive.com and use the code DATEABLE20 at checkout.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Mar 19, 2023 • 24min

#brunchtalk: How much PDA is too much PDA?

We all want to be the cute loving couple but never to be THAT couple....so what's the line? And how do your levels of PDA change depending on if you're alone vs. with friends, family, or coworkers? In this week’s brunch talk, we’re discussing ways to show love and affection that won't alienate others, what to say if you have THAT friend who makes it uncomfortable, and how to stay inclusive so no one feels like the third wheel.Got a question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comFollow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Hers: Get access to medical providers for help with anxiety and depression. For more information visit forhers.com/springNux Activeware: Get 20% off your purchase at nuxactive.com and use the code DATEABLE20 at checkout.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Mar 15, 2023 • 1h 4min

S16E5: How To Break Up By Text w/ Comedian Allison Goldberg

Is there ever a good way to break up with someone? Well, we know there are certainly some less-than-ideal ways (ahem text) as we chat with comedian Allison Goldberg about the art of breaking up and if texting is ever a good idea. We discuss why text is the modern-day post-it note (IFYKYK), how you can get more closure in any breakup, and ways laughter can be the best medicine to help us heal.Follow Allison Goldberg @alli_goldi and learn more about her upcoming shows at https://www.allisongoldberg.com/ (or become a contestant on https://www.loveisntblind.co/!)Follow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:HoneyLove: Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com with the code DATEABLENux Activeware: Get 20% off your purchase at nuxactive.com and use the code DATEABLE20 at checkout.Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Mar 12, 2023 • 22min

#brunchtalk: Is the saying 'If they wanted to, they would' true?

From all the romcoms and dating advice, we've been told over and over again: if they wanted to, they would. They'd move mountains to be with us and if they can't, then they just aren't that into it. In this week’s brunch talk, we’re discussing when someone says they can't do something / they aren't ready and what this means for you, why this saying isn't always so black and white, and how to use this information to help propel you forward in your love life. Got a question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comFollow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Nux Activeware: Get 20% off your purchase at nuxactive.com and use the code DATEABLE20 at checkout.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Mar 8, 2023 • 1h 7min

S16E4: Breaking the Second Date Curse

Why is it so damn difficult to make it past the second date in today's world? We're chatting with Kevin about how it was so hard that he thought he had a second date curse – until he realized the pressure he was putting on himself. We discuss why we look at dating as an achievement, how to stop putting so much emphasis on milestones and metrics such as the number of dates you've been on, and how you can start to enjoy the process more of dating. Follow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of online therapy at betterhelp.com/dateable with the code DATEABLEBlissy: Get 30% off silk pillows with the code DATEABLE at https://blissy.com/dateableDrizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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4 snips
Mar 5, 2023 • 25min

#brunchtalk: How Important are Shared Interests?

When dating, we're always looking to see if we have common interests as potential partners....but does it matter? In this week’s brunch talk, we’re discussing how a relationship can work if you have different hobbies and interests, the line between accommodating your lifestyle vs. what doesn't matter for the long haul, and how we can reframe what we're looking for to account for the growth and change that's bound to happen in a long-term partnership.Got a question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comFollow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Nux Activeware: Get 20% off your purchase at nuxactive.com and use the code DATEABLE20 at checkout.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Mar 1, 2023 • 1h 1min

S16E3: The Real Red Flags to Look Out For w/Ebele Onyema from OneLove

We often throw up the red flag card, but how can we make sure we are focused on actual red flags that may lead to unhealthy relationships? We're diving in with Ebele Onyema from the OneLove Foundation about signs of unhealthy behaviors in relationships and how they can show up subtly in early dating. We discuss the line that makes a behavior unhealthy (or even abusive), how you talk to a friend whether it's you or them in the situation, and what green flags to look out for that make for healthy relationships.TW: We discuss both physically and emotionally abusive relationshipsLearn more about The One Love foundation (and get their free guides to healthy & unhealthy relationships) at JoinOneLove.orgFollow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:One Love Foundation: visit JoinOneLove.org, a national non-profit dedicated to ending relationship abuse, and learn to spot the signs of unhealthy AND healthy relationship behaviors.Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Feb 26, 2023 • 22min

#brunchtalk: How Can You Tell if Someone is Serious About You?

When we're dating we always want to know...is this person as invested in me as I am in them? Are they serious about this relationship? But what happens when all the boxes are checked but you still are unsure? In this week’s brunch talk, we’re talking about how DTR'ing and putting labels on a relationship aren't everything, how you can communicate what a relationship means to you, and why expressing how you feel and giving the space for a partner to meet you is what a relationship is all about.Got a question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comFollow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:One Love Foundation: visit JoinOneLove.org, a national non-profit dedicated to ending relationship abuse, and learn to spot the signs of unhealthy AND healthy relationship behaviors.Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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Feb 22, 2023 • 1h 7min

S16E2: Sex Talks w/ Vanessa & Xander Marin

It's getting hot in here – as we chat about sex, intimacy, and why talking about sex could be the key to having the love life you've always wanted. Whether you wish you were having more or happy with the way things are, single or partnered up – it doesn't matter – we're diving into it all with sex therapist Vanessa Marin and her husband Xander. We discuss what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors for couples, how to talk about sex in early dating without being creepy, and why talking about sex doesn't have to be scary (and can actually be sexy!). Learn more about Vanessa and Xander at: https://sextalksbook.com/ and check out their book 'Sex Talks: The 5 conversations that will transform your love life' today.Follow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:One Love Foundation: visit JoinOneLove.org, a national non-profit dedicated to ending relationship abuse, and learn to spot the signs of unhealthy AND healthy relationship behaviors.BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of online therapy at betterhelp.com/dateable with the code DATEABLEDrizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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5 snips
Feb 19, 2023 • 22min

#brunchtalk: How Much Independence is Healthy in a Relationship?

What happens when you’re dating someone who needs large amounts of alone time? How do you not start to feel neglected? In this week’s brunch talk, we’re talking about the balance of your personal well-being with your partners needs. We discuss what a healthy amount of independence looks like, how you can make both yourself and your partner a priority, and why independence doesn’t have to be imbalance.Got a question you need answered? Hit us up at hello@dateablepodcast.comFollow us @dateablepodcast. Check out our website for more content, virtual live show dates, and merch. Join the Sounding Board at https://www.dateablepodcast.com/soundingboardThis episode is sponsored by:One Love Foundation: visit JoinOneLove.org, a national non-profit dedicated to ending relationship abuse, and learn to spot the signs of unhealthy AND healthy relationship behaviors.Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order.Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcastsWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster, Jan 2025) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get up to 60% off your first month, up to $150 OFF by visiting https://armoire.style/DATEABLE* Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and bedding sale at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/DATEABLE * Kensington Books: Dawn of Chaos and Fury by Melissa K. Roehrich is on sale now: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at https://talkiatry.com/DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-your-insiders-look-into-modern-dating-and-relationships/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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