Sex and Psychology Podcast

There’s an interesting paradox in modern relationships where, if there’s too much jealousy, that can cause a lot of problems. At the same time, though, if there isn’t enough jealousy, that can also lead to problems. So let’s talk about this complicated emotion. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the good, bad, and ugly of jealousy, how to cope with this emotion in healthy ways, and things you can do to help a partner who might be especially prone to jealousy. I am joined once again by Dr. Joli Hamilton, a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT Certified Sex Educator. Joli co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast and her academic research focuses on how jealousy impacts our most intimate relationships. Our previous conversation was all about creative monogamy, so be sure to listen to that episode as well. Some of the topics we discuss today include: How is jealousy different from other emotions, such as envy? What are some examples of the ways jealousy can benefit a relationship? How can jealousy harm a relationship? How can someone learn to manage jealousy in healthier ways? Is it possible to get rid of jealous feelings? Are there any strategies to help a partner better cope with jealousy? If you’re interested in practicing creative monogamy in your relationships, Joli has a free audio guide on bringing up the topic with a partner. She also offers a Jealousy MasterClass lecture. To learn more about these resources, visit jolihamilton.com Thank you to our sponsors! Don’t know what to get for Valentine’s Day? Give the gift of year-round pleasure with Beducated! Their library of online courses will teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a Valentine’s subscription and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2305-lehmiller *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Despite the fact that I write and talk about sex all day, I don’t actually watch a lot of movies and TV shows about sex because it often feels too much like work! However, every so often a film or show about sex comes along that I really enjoy because it’s both entertaining and gets the story right. And the new documentary A Sexplanation, billed as “a comedic sex ed documentary about the universal search for love, connection and self-acceptance,” does just that. For today’s episode, I am joined by independent filmmaker Alex Liu, creator of the award-winning documentary A Sexplanation. In this film, Alex travels across the United States and Canada speaking with experts and everyday people to open up healthy conversations about sex and reduce sexual shame. It covers a lot of ground, including sex education, masturbation, porn, fantasy, religion, and more. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What was it like for Alex to give viewers an intimate look at his own sex life and coming out journey as part of this film? Why Alex included frank discussions about sex with his parents in the film—and how that changed their relationship. How Alex got a Catholic priest to come on camera and talk about sex—and how this conversation completely changed Alex’s view on sex and spirituality. How people can learn to become more vulnerable and have more meaningful conversations about sex. How porn is affecting us as sexual beings. How sex education needs to change to better serve the next generation. Make sure to watch A Sexplanation, and follow Alex on Twitter @alexanderxliu Thank you to our sponsors! “Ring” in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to’s based on the largest research study into women’s pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Many of us have a mold for what romantic relationships “should” look like, and then we try to make our own relationships fit that. But, no matter how hard we try, sometimes it just doesn’t fit. And that’s because we’re going about relationships all wrong. Instead of building relationships on a set of things you think you’re “supposed” to do, we need to build them on the actual wants and needs of the partners. One way you can give your relationship a custom design is with the concept of “creative monogamy,” which is all about finding the right relationship style and structure that works for you. I am joined today by Dr. Joli Hamilton, a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT Certified Sex Educator. Joli co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast and her academic research focuses on how jealousy impacts our most intimate relationships. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why does monogamy seem to be so difficult for so many people? What is “creative monogamy” anyway? Where do you start when it comes to building a creatively monogamous relationship? For individuals who have developed a creative monogamy approach to their relationship, what might that look like? How often should people revisit their relationship agreements? How can someone in a monogamous relationship effectively communicate with their partner about wanting to change their relationship structure? If you’re interested in practicing creative monogamy in your relationships, Joli has a free audio guide on bringing up the topic with a partner. Be sure to check out that resource (and more!) over on jolihamilton.com Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2304-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the most popular articles on the Sex and Psychology blog is about the psychology of facials, a sexual act in which one person ejaculates on another person’s face. This behavior is one of many kinds of performative sexuality often seen in porn. Facials in particular have sparked a lot of debate because some people see this behavior as inherently degrading, especially when a woman is on the receiving end of it. So in today’s episode, we’re going to dive into the psychology of facials and performative sexuality more broadly. In addition, we’ll explore how performative sex intersects with porn, sexual self-esteem, and pleasure, as well as what to do when you feel constrained by performative expectations in the bedroom. I am joined once again by Dr. Megan Maas, an assistant professor in Human Development & Family Studies at Michigan State University. Her award-winning research, recognized by the American Psychological Association, and funded by the National Institute of Health, focuses on media impacts on adolescents’ sexual and mental health. Some of the topics we discuss include: How is sexual self-confidence related to both giving and receiving facials? How is porn shaping the way people approach sex? When and why did facials become so popular? How does being in an altered state (such as being under the influence of drugs or alcohol) relate to performative sex? What is the link between prior experience with sexual victimization and performative sex? How can you break free of expectations about performative sex if they’re interfering with your pleasure? Be sure to check out Megan’s website to learn more about her, and follow her on Twitter @MeganKMaas. Thank you to our sponsors! “Ring” in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to’s based on the largest research study into women’s pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the key principles embedded in many models of sexual consent is that consent must be specific. In other words, you need to know exactly what it is that you’re saying yes to. This also means you need to know in advance what it is that you want. However, we often don’t know what we want when it comes to sex, which makes navigating this issue rather tricky for everyone, but especially for women. Consenting to that which is unknown can be highly erotic, but it can be really risky, especially when a partner’s ideas about what you might want turn out to be wrong. My guest today is Katherine Angel, author of the internationally acclaimed book, Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again. Her previous books include Daddy Issues and Unmastered: A Book on Desire, Most Difficult to Tell. She is a Senior Lecturer in the English department and a Fellow of the Institute of Humanities and Social Sciences at Queen Mary, University of London. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why isn’t consent enough when it comes to having good sex? How do individuals navigate expressing their desires when they might not know what they want, and also when there’s a risk of being shamed or judged for sharing them? What does it really mean to have good sex? Is it a realistic goal for sex to always be good? A lot of sex advice comes down to “be vulnerable.” But vulnerability can be terrifying to some. So how do we navigate this? How does sex ed need to change to help people grapple with the complexities of sex? Click here to learn more about Katherine. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2303-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

As many as 1 in 3 college students in the United States may be participating in “slut pages.” Slut pages are part of a digital underground world in which nude or partially nude photos and videos of women are shared without their consent. These pages are sometimes a form of revenge porn, but they can also be a twisted game in which people are awarded points for obtaining nude photos of specific women. So how common are slut pages? Why do people participate in them? And how can we stop online sexual harassment? Let’s talk about it. I am joined today by Dr. Megan Maas, an assistant professor in Human Development & Family Studies at Michigan State University. Her award-winning research, recognized by the American Psychological Association, and funded by the National Institutes of Health, focuses on media impacts on adolescents’ sexual and mental health. Some of the topics we discuss include: What is a “slut page”? How are slut pages and revenge porn similar or different? How common are slut pages, and what draws people to them? Why are women sometimes active participants in the slut-shaming of other women? How does being the target of a slut page affect someone’s mental health? What should someone do if they discover a slut page or revenge porn about them? And what can we do to prevent online sexual harassment? Be sure to check out Megan’s website to learn more about her, and follow her on Twitter @MeganKMaas. Are you a victim of image-based sexual abuse online? Here are some organizations that may be able to help: Cyber Civil Rights Initiative Without My Consent Thank you to our sponsors! “Ring” in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to’s based on the largest research study into women’s pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Relationships are hard. But they can be especially hard when you or a partner are dealing with depression. In this episode, we’re going to explore how mental health issues like depression can pose unique relationship challenges, but also consider practical tips and tools for overcoming them, including how to be a supportive partner when you’re with someone who is depressed. I am joined once again by JoEllen Notte, a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site, The Redhead Bedhead. JoEllen is the author of The Monster Under The Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having as well as the upcoming book In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. Some of the topics we discuss include:  How to take care of your mental health while dating. When to disclose a mental health condition to a partner. How depression can impact marriages and other long-term relationships. How to know when being unhappy is a mental health issue vs. a relationship issue. What people can do to be supportive of a partner with depression. Suggestions for navigating a breakup while managing depression or anxiety. Learn more about JoEllen at redheadbedhead.com. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2302-lehmiller  Enhance your pleasure with OMGYES! OMGYES provides super-honest videos, animations, and how-to’s based on the largest research study into women’s pleasure, done in partnership with the Kinsey Institute. Get 33% by visiting OMGYES.com/justin. Clinicians and therapists can get a free personal membership by visiting OMGYES.com/doctors.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

As a sex educator, one of the most common questions I get from parents is when and how to talk to their kids about sex. When should these conversations begin? And what do you need to know to successfully navigate them? Let’s talk about “the talk!” In this show, we’re going to explore tips on how to normalize conversations about sex, sexuality, and relationships with your kids and give them the resources and skills they need to make healthy decisions and to lead happy and fulfilling intimate lives. I am joined by Dr. Lanae St.John, also known as The MamaSutra. She is a board-certified sexologist, certified sex coach, and former professor of human sexuality. Lanae is also the author of Read Me: A Parental Primer for “The Talk.” She has first-hand knowledge about how to navigate issues of sexuality as a parent, and uses that experience to help her clients. Some of the topics we discuss include: How do you make conversations about sex comfortable instead of awkward? As a parent, how can you model healthy communication for your kids? What are some ways parents can teach basic consent principles to their children? What are some things parents can do to help their kids cultivate healthy body image? Pleasure is one of the primary reasons people have sex, but it is rarely taught in sex ed. What should be addressed when talking about pleasure? What do you need to know when it comes to talking to kids about porn? Check it out! To learn more about Lanae, visit her website “The Mamastura,” and follow her on Instagram @themamasutra. Lanae has also put together a handy set of resources for listeners on having “the talk,” which you can find here. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2301-lehmiller “Ring” in the New Year with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What can you do to build stronger and healthier relationships in the New Year with everyone in your life? Let’s talk about it! In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss a wide range of relationships, starting with friendships, including how you can have an easier time both making and maintaining friends. We’re also going to talk about tips for starting new romantic connections (including how to get better at online dating), tips for strengthening romantic relationships new and old, as well as what you need to know about building a healthier relationship with yourself. I am joined once again by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. This is the second episode in a two-part series on sex and relationship resolutions, so be sure to check out the first part of our conversation if you haven’t already listened yet. Some of the topics we discuss today include: What are some new ways of making friends in the coming year? How can you maintain strong friendships without causing friction with your romantic partner? What can we do to become better online daters this year? What kind of communication skills do you need to cultivate in order to help your relationship thrive in the long term? For people in long-term relationships, how can they resolve to maintain a healthy level of autonomy and independence? What resolutions can men make to better themselves? To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com, follow @drjulianahauser on IG, and be sure to check out her RESTORED program, a weekly support group for professional helpers. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of pleasure with Beducated! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription this holiday season and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2251-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The end of another year is rapidly approaching, and that means a lot of people are soon going to start making resolutions for self-improvement. Oftentimes, those resolutions revolve around improving one’s physical health through exercise and diet, or bettering one’s mental health through finding better work-life balance or setting new boundaries. However, as you ponder your own resolutions for the new year, consider resolving to have better sex. With the right set of sexual resolutions, you can start to enjoy the best sex of your life! I am joined today by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, sex, and sexuality. In addition to running a private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known expert in this area whose work has appeared all over in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include: What are some practical things people can do to develop a greater sense of sexual empowerment? What are some resolutions people can make to improve their physical, mental, and emotional well-being that can also boost sexual performance and sexual satisfaction, too? How can partners break out of sexual routines and introduce more novelty into their sex lives in the new year? How can you learn to be more “present” during sex so that you can fully enjoy the experience? What does a “sex plan” involve, and how could you benefit from developing your own sex plan? Are there any sexual resolutions you shouldn’t make that might be counterproductive? To learn more about Juliana, visit dr-juliana.com, follow @drjulianahauser on IG, and be sure to check out her RESTORED program, a weekly support group for professional helpers. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Get hard for the holidays with FirmTech! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.