Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Our first featured mentor is the fabulous Sheila Walsh!! “God had no grandchildren. He only had sons and daughters. Faith is something you have to choose for yourself.” Those words started Sheila Walsh on a journey to know God and His love for her. From the tragic death of her father to professional success as 700 club co-host to discover freedom and peace in a psychiatric ward, Sheila shares a bit of her beautiful broken story. “Suffering can be a gift from God. Because it really draws you closer to His heart. And a greater understanding that it’s never about me getting it right its about Christ who came to make everything right.” This may be a “top ten favorite” interview for me. I’ve been a fan of Sheila and her work for years. But her wisdom and God’s grace in this episode ministered to me in a way and time that I needed most. Resonating with my soul that “through the broken places Christ’s love is closest to us.” We also talk about fun ways to share the good news of God’s Word with your kids. How to keep the conversation open and allow our kids to ask hard, unanswerable questions. To give them the freedom to speak truth and know it doesn’t change God’s love for them. What we chat about: Sheila’s incredible testimony How brokenness is where God brings His love to us The story behind “Gigi, God’s Little Princess” series Fun ideas of how the Walsh family did “devotion time” Allowing our kids to be free to speak truth and ask hard questions Her latest book in “The Bible is My Best Friend” series to help lead your child to Jesus Links Mentioned: Will, God’s Mighty Warrior** Gigi, God’s Little Princess** Passion Conferences The Bible is My Best Friend Bible Storybook** The Bible is My Best Friend Family Devotional** Where Do I Find Jesus?** **Amazon Affiliate Link

We’ve talked a lot about calm parenting techniques on GCM in the past. It’s something many of us moms have seen work. But this episode is one you may want to listen to and invite your hubby to as well! Founder of Celebrate Calm, Kirk Martin, shares the powerful story of how he went from an angry, tough dad to a calm, coaching dad and why a dad’s role in parenting is so important. I believe this to be true most of the time. If you do not change and if you do not forge that connection with your son, most of those boys will grow up and become angry young men… And I would tell the men too if you have a daughter and if she doesn’t know that you like her. And that you accept her as she is even if she is difficult. I guarantee when she gets to her teenage years she’s going to seek a man’s affection in some teenage boy. What we chat about: Getting dads onboard with Calm Parenting techniques. Working with strong-willed children and how anger and tough punishments don’t work. Fear of failure as a parent is a strong motivator for us in discipline. Kids need to know that we can control ourselves as parents even when they are out control. Discipline means to teach, not to punish. It’s important to build trust with our kids so they know we have their best interests at heart. The idea of first-time obedience and whether it’s Biblical. Strong-willed children may never listen the first time and may do things their own way (but still obey). How our struggle to obey God often mirrors our kids’ struggle to obey. Leading our kids to contrition instead of demanding an apology. Coaching and role playing with our kids to teach them how to respond better in emotional situations. Think of calm techniques as a different tactic for problem solving.  It’s ok to give in from time to time to keep from going crazy (not the same as being “soft”). Try doing the opposite of what you are doing now and see what the response is. Links Mentioned: Men’s CD or download: “I Want To Be A Good Dad & Husband!” (2 CDs, 2 hours)   How to Stop Yelling, Lecturing & Power Struggles   Episode 62 Calmly Parenting the Strong Willed Child  Episode 69 Summer (& Sibling) Survival Guide  Episode 77 How to Stay Calm with School Stress Episode 88 Q & A with Kirk Martin Episode 104 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns & Arguments Episode 139 **Amazon affiliate link

As moms, we know we need rest. We usually equate rest with sleep or with a vacation, but this week’s guest shares a broader picture of our need for rest in multiple areas of our lives. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a medical doctor, wife and mother to two boys. She had everything she’d dreamed of and worked hard to achieve, but wasn’t enjoying it. I kept pushing and pushing myself till I got to the point where I literally burned out. I wasn’t happy with my job. I couldn’t see how my marriage would survive. I didn’t want my kids anymore. I was just at the end of myself. I didn’t want the life I created. After reaching this breaking point, she went on a journey of restoration and healing where she learned to connect with God and with his plan for rest. Now she shares her research and methods with her patients and with all of us. If you’ve ever felt tired and at the end of yourself, this episode is for you. We already have permission to rest, but the mommy guilt that sometimes comes tells us we don’t. That is really a lie. I look at it as the John 10:10. ‘The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.’ And he’s doing it to a lot of us through our inability to rest, our inability to trust God that when we lay things down that he is able to uphold them. What we chat about: When Saundra reached her breaking point from stress and lack of true rest We have physical limits to what we can do as moms How Saundra researched rest and looked at scripture for clarity on how God rested The seven types of rest: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory and creative. The difference between a vacation and resting Paying attention to a place that feels painful in your body in the moment vs ignoring it Finding emotional rest through connection with friends, even through video chat if getting together is impossible The importance of authentic, open friendships with women who can relate to your life situation Ideas on how to stay engaged with your husband and reignite your marriage Putting limits on social media time so that your mind has down time Tips for getting mental rest and release ideas that make your mind race Sensory rest– what it is and ways to get it It is not selfish to prioritize resting. It keeps you from having a toxic reaction to those around you. Links Mentioned: Marco Polo App–way to socially connect Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith** Adventures in Odyssey Club–hundreds of episodes Rest Quiz Online **Amazon affiliate link

In a world where devices, video games and screen-based entertainment dominate our time and space, we can choose to make our family culture different. It isn’t easy and it isn’t always fun, but there are huge benefits for us and our kids when we take time away from devices. This week’s guest Andy Crouch is the author of “The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place”. He shares about our calling to be image bearers of God and how his family has seen a lot of growth by putting limitations on time with technology and building in Sabbath rest from devices. Have moments as a family where you talk about what have been your best moments. What’s been the flourishing moments in our family? It’s very unlikely people will say, ‘Oh that time we made it to level 16 in whatever video game.’ Kids and parents will remember moments that had this kind of real authority and real vulnerability. As we head into summer, I hope this episode encourages you to embrace the power of your kids being bored so they can tap into their God-given creativity, abilities and interests. Just hang in there through the first third of the time! Listen to see what I mean. What we chat about: Image bearing as it relates to authority and vulnerability Video games and screened-based entertainment simulate authority and vulnerability Andy’s family’s Sabbath for screens and devices- one hour each day, one day each week and one week each year How to work toward unity on device- and technology-free time with your spouse Start small and do what’s stretching when it comes to taking time without devices Talk as a family about the best times you’ve experienced together and plan to have more of those moments The first third of the time is really hard, but in the second two-thirds you’ll see creativity and really good things for your family Changing your physical space to make the main thing we do together different Work and rest vs. Toil and leisure Not looking at your phone first thing in the morning till you’ve been outside Having a rhythm of disengagement with technology that reconnects us with real rest and with who we really are in God’s image. Links Mentioned: “The Tech Wise Family: Putting Technology in its Proper Place” by Andy Crouch ** “Strong and Weak” by Andy Crouch** **Amazon affiliate link

Our children are growing up in a digital age with unparalleled access to technology. With these wonderful advances, comes a heavy responsibility we cannot ignore as parents. The access to pornography and sexual images and videos is everywhere and the age of children viewing them is going down. But there is hope. My guest Ashley Januszewski is all about empowering parents to protect their children by talking candidly with them about God’s plan for their bodies and sex from an early age. We talk about everything from sexting and pornography to device control and screen time limits. She shares great resources for how to start these conversations with your children at any age. It’s our job as parents, though this is the reality. Not to throw our hands in the air. It is our responsibility just like it is to buckle our children when we get in the car. So it’s our responsibility to virtually buckle up our children…. It’s everywhere. So it starts and ends with training the heart and equipping our kids. What to do when (not if) they are faced with this avalanche of filth. What do we do? We’ve got to talk about it. What we chat about: The story behind Ashley’s pursuit of information on parenting children in the digital age Eleven is the average age for exposure to pornography in America. Fear and anxiety can be signs that a young child has been exposed to something sexually inappropriate. The coming of age experience today in 2018 looks radically different than what we experienced as kids. There aren’t the natural barriers that used to exist to pornography. Now it is anonymous, accessible and affordable to anyone. Our responsibility as parents to minimize exposure to pornographic material 40 percent of teenagers today in America say that sending sexual or naked photos or videos is part of everyday life for them. Make a plan for when and how you will introduce digital technology to your children A family mantra or mission statement can help you stay centered on the truth of God in a world that is dominated by opinions How screen time is affecting kids’ brains and hours spent on screens by tweens and teens Teaching young children about the dignity and value bodies which can lead to wider conversations Humanizing explicit images and an example of how to talk to your kids when you encounter them Avoiding shame or blame when it comes to sexual images to keep the lines of communication open Solutions for an Internet safer home- control the location of devices, control at the router and control on the devices Sexting and child pornography laws and the importance of reporting Links Mentioned: Mary Flo Ridley “When to have the Talk” Grace-Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150]  Theology of the Body for Kids:  Pornography Jimmy and Josh Myers Ep 162 Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids ** Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds ** https://www.pcmag.com/roundup/342731/the-best-parental-control-apps-for-your-phone https://protectyoungeyes.com/ Screens and Teens by Kathy Koch** **Amazon affiliate link

*Earbud warning…may want to listen without innocent ears hearing as well. 😉 This episode is about having great SEX with your husband. Whether that gets you excited or brings up fear in you, please stay and listen to my chat with Nancy Houston. She is a licensed professional counselor and sex therapist who shares candidly about how to overcome barriers to intimacy in marriage. We talk about how to work through sexual pasts, sex after having kids, the impact of porn and sexual addiction on marriage. And how getting healing from your past experiences can draw you closer to your husband. There’s a big learning curve to all of this. And you know too many times we treat sex as something that should be automatic and if we love each other this should just work. And that’s just not true. I mean statistically 60 percent of couples are having some sort of sexual problem right this minute.  What we chat about: Why the Christian community needs to open up more about sex and healthy intimacy How sex drive changes for women after they’ve had kids The importance of foreplay for women especially God gave us sex as a way to bond us together with our husband Statistically, 60 percent of couples are having some sort of sexual problems at any given minute A woman’s largest sex organ is her brain The need for healing when you’ve experienced sexual abuse How Nancy processed and found healing from the sexual trauma she experienced Porn vs sexual addiction and the need for therapy God made us for intimacy Letting go of the negative aspects you may have built up around the idea of sex Raising our kids to have a healthy view of sexuality 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 and how it references sex in marriage Having your hormones checked, exercise and eating healthy can help your body be prepared for sex Having healthy conversations about sex with your husband (not during sex!) Sex isn’t meant to be a performance, it’s meant to be a way for you and your husband to connect Invite God into the sexual part of your marriage Links Mentioned: The Power of Sex in Marriage :: Francie Winslow, Ep 61  The Ripple Effect of Healthy Sexual Connection :: Francie Winslow, Ep 138  Love & Sex A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy ** https://www.affairrecovery.com/ Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage ** Birds & Bees with Mary Flo Ridley, “When to Have the Talk”  Birds & Bees–Continuing the Conversation, Ep 153  Nancy’s recommended books: Celebration of Sex, by Doug Rosenau** Sex Facts for the Family, by Clifford and Joyce Penner** The Gift of Sex, by Clifford and Joyce Penner** Coping with Erectile Dysfunction, by Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy** Coping with Premature Ejaculation, by Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy** Rekindling Desire, Barry and Emily McCarthy** The Conquer Series for men struggling with sexual issues, a video series which can be purchased at Pure Desire Ministries Pure Desire, by Dr. Ted Roberts** **Amazon affiliate link

There is a lot of pressure placed on moms to nurture and care for our families. Add the responsibilities of a full-time job on top of that and it easy to see why being a mom is called the hardest job in the world. My friends Causha Jolly and Stacey McCabe share about life as working moms and the difficult balance they maintain everyday. I love how they share their hearts about being obedient to God’s assignment for them to work outside the home even in the difficult season of mothering little ones. As a community of God-centered moms, we’re called to cheer on our sisters. It’s my hope that this episode will encourage you to bless and support other moms as they obey God. Remember who you are in Christ, remember that you are called, remember that you are a daughter of the most high and never doubt that.  (STAY TUNED. . .later this week I’ll release a blog post with more practical ideas on work/life balance from Causha) What we chat about: Causha and Stacy’s motherhood stories and why they chose to work outside the home Why it’s harder for moms to travel and not worry about your kids vs. husbands traveling How to respond when we fear we aren’t enough and struggle under the weight of expectations placed on moms The difficulty of finding care for your kids while you work The false internal judgement of good mom to bad mom scale Feeling a divine assignment from God to be in a certain job How it’s necessary to say, “No” to a lot when you have limited family time The need to show grace for yourself so that you can have grace with your kids Moms can’t be there every moment of every day, but Jesus will always be there Teaching our kids to turn to Jesus to meet every one of their needs Dealing with moments of insecurity as a working mom When we judge a mom for her choices then we miss out on the blessing of supporting her in her obedience Links Mentioned: Kat Armstrong –Motherhood, Career and Identity [episode 171]  Courtney Smallbone–The Day Fear Died  Pine Cove Family Camp Freakonomics by Steven Levitt** Whisper by Mark Batterson** Experiencing God by Blackaby** Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer**

In her new book, New York Times bestselling author Lisa Bevere tackles the question, “What is truth?”. It is a defining question in our current age which is ruled by a shifting sea of opinions and a constantly changing culture. But, truth is person, Jesus. And, he is a Rock for his people. When I began to look at this, I thought, ‘Oh my gosh, they were looking for Christ’. The magnet that would draw, but not be drawn, the one who is light, this whole dynamic of being invincible, that’s what adamant means… invincible… it’s also immovable, constant, that rock who follows us in the wilderness… That word in Hebrew means, ‘an unassailable refuge’. That made me realize that Christ is our unassailable refuge. Listen as Lisa shares wisdom and encouragement for moms, daughters and followers of Christ everywhere. What we chat about: Lisa’s background and testimony of meeting Jesus and her husband Parenting, discipline and setting your children up to win The power of positive affirmation in strong-willed children Explaining the why behind the rules and connecting it to God’s word Having grace for the season you are in as a mom Prayers for your kids to go beyond where you are in your walk with Christ Doing motherhood well is not the same as doing it perfectly The meaning of adamant and the background on Lisa’s new book Christ is our unassailable refuge, our rock, our adamant We can’t love what God loves if we don’t hate what God hates The danger of pride and how it separates us from God’s grace Jesus is our pattern for how to love You will never regret kindness and loving words Bring in the word of God when you have disagreements Links Mentioned: Out Of Control And Loving It: Giving God Complete Control of Your Life** Lizzy the Lioness** Messenger International Adamant : Finding Truth in a Universe of Opinions** **Amazon affiliate link

Losing a baby to miscarriage or later in pregnancy is heartbreaking, especially when you are struggling with infertility. Imagine experiencing that type of loss multiple times. My guest and friend, Shawna Beucler shares the story behind her two healthy sons and the many babies she can’t wait to see again in heaven. If you’re walking through the journey of infertility or have a friend who is, Shawna shares so beautifully why you shouldn’t walk alone in these places of pain and the power of friends lifting you up in prayer every day. We would not have gone through and survived that time in our life had we not had people praying for us around the clock. Because sometimes the anger and the heartbreak when your heart meets tragedy… there is no prayer you can form. I needed a break from the Lord and I had other people holding that connection for me. What we chat about: Struggling with infertility, medical interventions and trying to get pregnant IUI, IVF and miscarriages Feeling the door shutting on future pregnancies The Lord wants us to desire to love and know him Losing a final baby and the traumatic process of going through delivery People praying for you made the difference Why Shawna wants to share her story The healing that can come from talking about the pain in your life Keeping your marriage together in times of deep grief 1 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Philippians 4:13 – I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Psalm 27:14 – Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Luke 1:37 – For nothing will be impossible with God. How to help a friend who is walking through infertility Links Mentioned: What to Say, How to Help, When to Show Up (Lunchbox Babies) Mourning & Dancing by She Reads Truth

Powerhouse Christine Caine shares how she let go of fear and found faith for when the unexpected happened. Lots of truth and encouragement here for anyone who has encountered fear in parenting, a medical diagnosis and rejection in friendships… so all of us! Jesus never said we’re not going to have trials. He said when trials come, not if, but when. I think sometimes as believers we forget that, but we have a grace within it. I think part of our testimony to a lost and broken world is the way we go through it. What we chat about: Christine Caine’s new book, Unexpected Emboldening our faith and letting go of fear in motherhood Trusting that God will fill in the gaps of what we’re able to do as parents Basic spiritual practices can be some of the most powerful things in our lives Facing painful actualites in a fallen world Christine’s reaction to her cancer diagnosis Jesus is the name above all other names, including cancer Having a “faith cocoon” of friends to encourage you in the face of fear Enduring suffering as Christians Giving in to the pain and fear and suffering is not the answer We serve a God who is bigger! Godly motherhood in this generation is harder than it’s ever been Leaning in with a spirit of faith and not pulling back with a spirit of fear We’re called to train our children up and not restrain their giftings Dealing with rejection in friendship and moving forward Links Mentioned: A21 Ministry Paul the Apostle Movie Unexpected: Leave Behind Fear, Move Forward in Faith, Embrace the Adventure** Focused15 “Everyday Faith” by Katie Orr** **Amazon affiliate link