Don't Mom Alone Podcast

As a mom of three, Lynne Jackson struggled to maintain the order and perfection she expected to have in her life. Conflicts with her oldest son especially left her feeling defeated, angry and fearful of the future.  “The Lord was speaking to me one day about some of these beliefs that I had. And in Ephesians 4:15, it talks about speaking the truth in love. And I felt like I heard his voice say, you are not speaking the truth in love to yourself, about you and your kids. And then I went on a journey to figure out what was really true.” Lynne shares how she learned to fight back against the toxic lies she believed about herself and her kids with God’s truth.  We talk about practical ways we can take time to process our feelings with God and with others so we can let go of expectations that hurt our families and can find freedom in our identity in Christ. “The goal to have perfect kids and be a perfect mom is just a setup for anger and despair. And it's actually idolatry. The real truth that helps us let go of that chronic anger is it's my job to parent wisely. My kid's job is to learn over time, to respond wisely. And that's a process.” Connect with Lynne:  Website:  https://connectedfamilies.org   Facebook: facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies   Instagram:  @connectedfams  Links Mentioned:   Grace and Truth for Moms Online Course Discipline that Connects Fall 2020 Course --- use code "DMA" to save 15% off registration More Episodes with the Jacksons:   Ep 200 The Entitlement Fix :: Jim and Lynne Jackson Bonus Mentor Episode–Resolving Sibling Conflict :: Jim and Lynne Jackson Ep 221 Discipline 101 :: Jim and Lynne Jackson Ep 222 Connected Relationships :: Jim and Lynne Jackson  Ep 258 Helping Your Child with Sensory Processing Issues :: Lynne Jackson Featured Sponsors:  Sunbasket --get $35 off your first order at sunbasket.com/dma Acorn TV -- try it free for 30 days acorn.tv with code: dma BetterHelp --get 10% off your first month betterhelp.com/dma

As minister and mom of one with another child on the way, Dominique Young looked like she had it all together —  great job, great family, great ministry. But a few months into her second pregnancy she started experiencing postpartum psychosis, high anxiety and began hearing voices. The feelings she always tried to mask or hide behind helpful scriptures could not be controlled anymore, but she started to find breakthrough when she learned that her real problem was fear. “I always thought faith was easy. If I just said something and I kept moving, then God, on the back end, without my knowledge would take out all the fear. All I had to do is quote enough scripture. And what God began to show me is that he wanted me to have faith that he is God, so that I could just be human.” We talk about her experience of getting a new perspective on faith, learning to experience emotions in a healthy way, and allowing herself to rely on others more and she started her journey toward health and wholeness. Now, she helps other moms do the same with her online community of Faith Mamas. Connect with Dominique Young:  Website:  faithmamas.org Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/faithmamasvillage  Instagram:  @faithmamastribe  Links Mentioned:   Devotions and Bible Study Information from Faith Mamas Faith Mamas Podcast Featured Sponsors:  Featured Sponsors: BetterHelp -- get 10% off your first month -- betterhelp.com/dma PrepDish -- get two weeks free of meal plans -- prepdish.com/dma

Kimberly Amici wanted her family to live by a set of values and a mission. So, she sat down with her husband and wrote out her ideas and expectations. But, in the midst of their busy life raising three kids and “going with the flow,” the Amici family didn’t have a set purpose or culture and it showed. However, through a series of ongoing conversations as a family, Kimberly has been able to identify a few areas of purpose that are now a part of her family’s culture. It took having more in-depth conversations to get buy-in from kids to really identify and own their unique family culture. Now, Kimberly provides coaching and resources that help others build their best families by having these conversations, choosing a few values to focus on and making small steps towards those values each day.   “The routines that we've put in place, these small steps that we take every day is what builds culture. It's not some big campaign saying we're going to transform our lives and become this other family. It's these teeny, tiny steps along the way.” Connect with Kimberly Amici:  Website: kimberlyamici.com and buildyourbestfamily.com  Facebook: facebook.com/KimberlyAmiciBuildYourBestFamily Instagram:  @kimberlyamici Links Mentioned:   Family Retreat Packet Build Your Best Family Podcast Featured Sponsors: Sunbasket -- get $35 off your order at sunbasket.com/dma use promo code "dma" AncestryHealth -- get your genetic health kit over at Ancestry.com/DMA

(If you struggle with how to manage distance learning and working from home...listen to Kendra "lazy genius" that situation for me) Kendra Adachi also known as the Lazy Genius calls herself a professional permission giver. And she’s here to give us permission to be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t. “I've come to this place of realizing we do not need another life hack. MacGyvering together a list of hacks and inspirational quotes isn’t going to get you a life that is wholehearted and anchored in what matters to you. That's why you're tired because that doesn't work.” That sounds great, but the hard part is choosing what matters to YOU. We talk about how Kendra learned to let go of the expectations of doing everything well as a mom and how her Lazy Genius principles can help others get the same freedom. She helps me “lazy genius” my life when it comes to the constant interruptions of parenting and virtual schooling as a work-at-home mom with some solutions that are both practical and soulful. I hope this conversation is helpful to many of you as we head into a fall season full of unknowns.  My key takeaways: Make house rules that serve you and your sanity Breath prayer when you feel scattered or like everything needs your attention: Lord, open my eyes to what matters right now.  Connect with Kendra:  Website:  thelazygeniuscollective.com Facebook: facebook.com/thelazygeniuscollective Instagram: @thelazygenius Links Mentioned:   Kendra’s book The Lazy Genius Way Change Your Life Chicken The Magic of Motherhood by Ashlee Gadd Featured Sponsors:  1. Thrive Market -- go to thrivemarket.com/DMA start a risk-free membership and a get a FREE $22 gift of your choosing.  2. BetterHelp -- sign up with a licensed professional counselor online. 10% off your first month. betterhelp.com/DMA 3. Ancestry Health -- discover if you have genetic health risks by checking out ancestry.com/DMA

When I recorded this interview in 2015 I had no idea just two years later my father would pass away. Stacey's wisdom on grief became my lifeline. This year with so many losses our hearts have experienced constant, low-level grief. On top of being quarantined, some of you may have lost loved ones. As moms, you've been unable to have time/space to grieve (or have a formal memorial service). Today’s podcast guest is my soul sister friend, Stacey Thacker. She and I have been chatting about life, Jesus and family for the many years. Stacey writes online and has authored several books (a new one releasing in just a few months--Threadbare Prayer). When we conducting this interview Stacey shared so much of what she had learned from the loss of her father. Since the interview she's experienced additional trauma and grief. Through it all she remains tethered to her faithful God. She is wise and can be trusted.   My hope is whether you are the one who has experienced loss or not, you will be encouraged that even when our worst fears are realized, God’s grace is ever present. And as Stacey points out: “He holds all things together. And all things means all things.” What we chat about: How the message of Stacey’s book, “Hope for the Weary Mom” became real How do moms grieve while handling the dailiness of motherhood What actions and words of friends comforted her the most How children grieve differently How to be available and present with a grieving friend What moments over the course of the year bring back grief How do you manage your home when one child has to be hospitalized How God holds all things together Connect with Stacey: Site :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest Links Mentioned: Releasing Oct 2020: Threadbare Prayer Hope for the Weary Mom Stacey’s posts on grief: My Journey Through Grief and Loss Nobody’s Cuter than You: A Memoir about the Beauty of Friendship**by Melanie Shankle Holding On to Hope: A Pathway through Suffering to the Heart of God**by Nancy Guthrie I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One   ** by Pamela Blair & Brook Noel Psalms 23 & Hosea 2 “He holds all things together.” Colossians 1:17 **Amazon affiliate links Featured Sponsor: PrepDish get two weeks of FREE meal plans if you go to http://prepdish.com/dma 

As moms, we know we need rest. We usually equate rest with sleep or rest with a vacation, but this week’s guest shares a much bigger picture of our need for rest in multiple areas of our lives.  Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a medical doctor, wife and mother to two boys. She had everything she’d dreamed of and worked hard to achieve, but wasn’t enjoying it.  “So I kept pushing and pushing myself till I got to the point where I literally just burned out. I wasn't happy with my job. I couldn't see how my marriage would survive. I didn't want my kids anymore. I was just at the end of myself. I didn't want the life I created.” After reaching this breaking point, she went on a journey of restoration and healing where she learned to connect with God and with his plan for rest. Now she shares her research and methods with her patients and with all of us. If you’ve ever felt tired and at the end of yourself, this episode is for you.  “We already have permission to rest, but the mommy guilt that sometimes comes tells us we don’t. That is really a lie. I look at it as the John 10:10. The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And he's doing it to a lot of us through our inability to rest, our inability to trust God that when we lay things down that he is able to uphold them.” What we chat about: When Saundra reached her breaking point from stress and lack of true rest We have physical limits to what we can do as moms  How Saundra researched rest and looked at scripture for clarity on how God rested The seven types of rest are physical, to mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory and creative. The difference between a vacation and resting Paying attention to a place that feels painful in your body in the moment vs ignoring it Finding emotional rest through connection with friends, even through video chat if getting together is impossible The importance of authentic, open friendships with women who can relate to your life situation Ideas on how to stay engaged with your husband and reignite your marriage Putting limits on social media time so that your mind has down time Tips for getting mental rest and release ideas that make your mind race Sensory rest-- what it is and ways to get it It is not selfish to prioritize resting. It keeps you from having a toxic reaction to those around you. Links Mentioned:  Website: http://ichoosemybestlife.com/ Book: http://ichoosemybestlife.com/sacred-rest/  Quiz: http://restquiz.com/  Featured Sponsor: BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/DMA and join the over 1,000,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. DMA listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/DMA.

Sippy cup refill requests. Another load of laundry to fold. A sibling dispute. Ever feel like you are reacting to life? Life is coming at you and you respond. There have been many times in my mothering where instead of joy & hope I feel beat down and unfulfilled. One woman who has whispered beauty and calm into those dark places, is today’s podcast guest, Sally Clarkson. She told me motherhood can be more than just doing the dishes. It is an important job, guiding souls through discipleship and love. She taught me that my hard-to-handle boy may need me to sympathize more than instruct. She agreed boys may be a little wild. . .but showed me they can be civil & sip tea. When I was coming out of a time of “not feeling like myself” Sally showed me how to own my life. To drop the negative thoughts which held me back. To consider what I wanted my days to look like and then make them happen. He is the living, vibrant not-to-be-contained God. The more I would ponder God and engage with him in my own heart, the more my kids were drawing from me all the excellencies and realities of God. When we are passionate and filled with the Holy Spirit, our children will be exposed to the living God. Sally has written her encouragement into a book called, “Own Your Life” (2015). In this podcast episode, which originally aired January 6, 2015, I asked Sally all-the-things I’ve been pondering, from how to help your children really “know” God to simple advice on transforming a hard mom day. What we talk about: Why I struggle to read Sally’s books at the end of hard days. Every mom has her own mom personality. In spite of our mom errors, children can learn our hearts How do we help our children “Yadah” God…to know Him personally Living a life of color & taste & joy so our children see & know the goodness of the Lord. How we are motivated…not by guilt or checklists but by love & encouragement. Balancing grace & truth in parenting–practicing patience & love takes time. Definition of the phrase “own your life”- Sally’s example of a friend who “owns her life” in a special way why she serves her son with a disability. In an immediate gratification society, not forgetting the long term process of your life. growing day by day, little by little. Making sure you make time for yourself, to fill up before you pour out to the little people in your life. Common barriers to owning your life. Sally’s advice to a mom who was depressed

(This episode originally aired in 2016) Francie Winslow shares the exponential impact marital intimacy has on the world around us. Sex is a multiplying factor in our lives, not just with producing kids, but producing a massive amount of connection. In the past two years Francie has been doing extensive research on theology of the body. Exploring how God stamped His image on us. How we express our roles as image bearers through sex in marriage. God is an invisible God who wants to make himself visible to us. When man and woman come together as one it’s his invitation for humanity to become one with God. Intimately connected with Him. Francie shares their own family stress and her personal struggle with anxiety. Things that can disrupt marital connection. She vulnerably shares how she and her husband have purposefully chosen sex over isolation. God’s training us to fight for connection and for each other instead of against each other. Love Francie’s practical tips for keeping technology in check. So often screens and devices creep in between couples, increasing the distance and decreasing the intimacy. Don’t miss the list of great resources below to help train your children in forming a healthy perspective of the body and sex. What we chat about: Francie’s journey to learn sex isn’t dirty or a duty but a delight. Her recent study of theology of the body. How anxiety and adoption stress led Francie and her husband to choose to have more sex (you read that right). How technology impacts our marital connection and practical solutions Help and healing for women who struggle with their view of sex. A reminder to daily do the things that keep you alive as a person. The Ripple Effect of sex in marriage. A word of encouragement for the single mom. Training our kiddos in a healthy sexual worldview (check out Francie’s resource list below). Connect with Francie:   Links Mentioned: Sign up for Francie's free newsletter (http://franciewinslow.com/) As a bonus you will receive a free digital download of a Prayer to Ignite the Ripple Effect in Your Home along with 7 Days of Marriage Declarations to Experience More of Heaven’s Possibilities for Your Marriage. " Heaven in Your Home Podcast Soul Freedom (encore)Episode The Power of Sex in Marriage Episode Andy Crouch Beth Moore’s Daniel Study** Francie’s Resource List: Theology of the Body Books for Kids by Monica Ashour Every Body is Smart: God Helps Me Listen & Choose** Every Body Has a Body: God Made Girls & Boys** Every Body is a Gift : God Made Us to Love** God Has a Plan for Boys & Girls ** Every Body Has Something to Say** Every Body Has Something to Give** Get these books (as many as you can!) and read them over and over and over.  They are great for a range of ages – not just toddlers.  Not only will it help form a great spiritual foundation for your kids as they enter a sexually intense world as kids (sadly it happens young these days), it will help you as a grown up re-learn how to think about bodies, sexuality and identity.  It will also help give you simple, common language to use on an everyday basis in your home.  They have all been such a big part of us growing in this new way of seeing the gift of sex as a family. For older kids: The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality** by Luke Gilkerson (there are several others to go with this series too).  Loving this one right now with my 8 year old.) Before I Was Born (God’s Design for Sex)** by Carolyn Nostrum Good Pictures, Bad Pictures : Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids ** by Kristen Jensen Theology of His Body/Theology of Her Body** by Jason Evert (This was written with college kids in mind, but I found it super helpful and use it woven into conversations with my kids.) For those who want more depth…Theology of the Body for Beginners** by Christopher West **Amazon Affiliate Link Featured Sponsor: Prepdish: Get two weeks for free if you go to http://prepdish.com/dma  

Many of us avoid and struggle with conversations about race or disabilities because it’s uncomfortable. When our children ask innocent questions about someone who is different than they are, it can make us feel tongue tied or embarrassed. Author Dorena Williamson has created some lovely children’s books to help parents respond and invite their children to join them on the journey of learning to love and speak worth over every person that God created. And I kept feeling frustrated thinking that’s not the solution to teach your children to be colorblind because that’s minimizing the beauty of God’s handiwork. And as Christians we should be the biggest proponents of celebrating the beauty of our racial diversity and not minimizing it or sort of washing it away and this colorblind land. She shares powerfully about how to engage with your children about racial and cultural differences and how we can model what it looks like to grow in the area of loving and accepting people who are different than us. As our children get older, I think that these are valuable conversations to have with them because the beauty of it is that it tells your children you are teachable and that you don’t get it right all the time and that you’re continuing to learn and grow. What we chat about: All about Dorena’s family and their multiracial church, Strong Tower Bible Church Her book ColorFull and the background behind why she wrote it The creativity of God and how he uses color in all that he created Looking for opportunities to share the beauty of racial differences with our children Language for parents to use to help teach children and avoid shaming Reinforcing the idea that “Different is not bad” and calling out the worth of people Why equipping kids early is important Modeling how we are all growing when it comes to loving and accepting people who are different than us Encouraging our children to ask questions even when they are uncomfortable Engaging with our kids about other cultures whether we can travel internationally or experience cultures in our own cities Connect with Dorena: Links Mentioned: ColorFull: Celebrating the Colors God Gave Us** ThoughtFull : Discovering the Unique Gifts in Each of Us** GraceFull : Growing a Heart that Cares for Our Neighbors** Other books/sites that Dorena recommends:  Brownicity.com site with helpful resources (created by a Godly woman Dr. Lucretia Berry) The Beatitudes by Carole Boston Weatherford The Other Side  by Jacqueline Woodson Beabridgebuilder.com A list of 28 picture books (aren’t about boycotts, buses or basketball)  –listed created by ScottWood

Rachel Anne Ridge is an author, professional artist, and speaker in Texas. Together with her husband Tom, she bootstrapped her way through the Great Recession, raised a family, and rediscovered her purpose in the midst of the everyday juggle of life. Her books, Flash, The Homeless Donkey Who Taught Me About Life, Faith, and Second Chances, and Walking with Henry are inspired by the stray donkeys (yes, donkeys) who interrupted her juggling act and revealed how ordinary (and sometimes hilarious) events help us find our higher purposes and deeper faith. Rachel is mom to three adult children and Nana to five littles.   Little did I know when I asked Rachel to be on the podcast, that the day before our interview she wrote a viral blog post encouraging the lonely mom of older kids (click here to read it).   Her honest, yet hopeful words, are what I’m sure caused 37,000 + people on Facebook to like her words. She admits the hard parts but encourages moms to keep their eyes on the bigger purpose. Show Highlights:  Rachel shares personal parenting challenges and what she (and her husband) did to overcome them. Discover a variety of ways to get God-centered (none of which include getting up early). Hear Rachel’s parenting regret and advice on how to avoid it. Be encouraged by Rachel’s greatest parenting strength. For the mom of older children, listen to Rachel’s thoughts on how discipline changes during this stage to a coaching role Most importantly hear the Truth of God’s great love for you and your family. Links:  Growing Kids God’s Way: Biblical Ethics for Parenting* Rachel shares they attended training in this parenting approach. She also alludes to the fact they did not agree with all the information in this program. She shared with me later how attending the course together allowed them to get on the same page and then toss what they couldn’t use. After some research I found parents strongly divided on this training approach. If you are looking for other grace-based parent training, then here are some other resources: Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition) by Foster Cline & Jim Fay Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson Grace-Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman Connect with Rachel: Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest :: Instagram Featured Sponsor:  Thrive Market  go to https://thrivemarket.com/dma use DMA to get $20 of store credit.