Ordinary Unhappiness

Unlocked Patreon episode. Support Ordinary Unhappiness on Patreon to get access to all the exclusive episodes. patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappinessHappy New Year! We’re off this week taking a belated holiday rest. But as a complement to our miniseries on projective identification with Brian Ngo-Smith, we’re unlocking this episode featuring another returning audience favorite: Lily Scherlis. Lily leads Abby and Dan on a deep dive into the psychoanalytic study of groups, from its history and roots in Wilfred Bion’s theories to her own personal experiences and reportage. Like our recent episodes with Brian, the conversation expands to thinking about groups more broadly, and into the arena of contemporary politics in general and the challenges of leftist solidarity specifically. -Abby and Dan sit down with writer and performance artist Lily Scherlis to talk about her new essay for n+1, “Experiences in Groups” (a title that does homage to Wilfred Bion’s influential 1961 book of the same name). They discuss Lily’s experience at the 2024 Tavistock conference, the meaning of “group relations,” and the fantasies it can generate for those committed to leftist politics, before turning to their own experiences in groups and Bion’s influence on each of their lives.  Lily Scherlis, “Experiences in Groups”: https://www.nplusonemag.com/issue-51/essays/experiences-in-groups/Wilfred Bion, Experiences in Groups: https://bookshop.org/p/books/experiences-in-groups-and-other-papers-w-r-bion/0d24f44dde25497d?ean=9780415040204&next=t&Nov 14th event of interest to NYC listeners: “Group as Form; Deep Study Session with Groups Group” (registration and fee required): https://www.poetryproject.org/events/group-as-form-deep-study-session-with-groups-group?page=1Our previous episode with Lily, “From Boundaries to Attachment: The Uses and Abuses of Pop Psychology”: https://ordinaryunhappiness.buzzsprout.com/2131830/episodes/17036523-98-from-boundaries-to-attachment-the-uses-and-abuses-of-pop-psychology-feat-lily-scherlisOur previous episode on Bion’s Experiences in Groups with Christine Smallwood: “From Parties to Projective Identification: Why Is Group Life So Hard?”: https://ordinaryunhappiness.buzzsprout.com/2131830/episodes/13002667-12-from-parties-to-projective-identification-why-is-group-life-so-hard-feat-christine-smallwood

Brian Ngo-Smith, a psychotherapist specializing in psychoanalytic perspectives, joins Abby and Patrick to explore projective identification and its impact on group dynamics. They discuss how this psychological concept manifests in group behaviors, affecting relationships in various settings like families and workplaces. Key topics include role suction, scapegoating, and the interplay of fear and leadership within groups. By transitioning from individual to collective experiences, they shed light on the real-world implications of projective identification.

In a thought-provoking discussion, Brian Ngo-Smith, a psychoanalyst and clinical social worker, delves into the complex concept of projective identification. He explores its roots in infant development and its impact on adult relationships, challenging the boundaries between self and other. The conversation navigates the historical tension between Freud and Klein, and offers practical examples from therapy and personal relationships. By unpacking archaic defense mechanisms, Brian reveals how projections can shape emotional dynamics in various facets of life.

In this mailbag reaction, the hosts tackle listener questions about the intriguing links between psychoanalysis and Buddhism. They discuss Melanie Klein's influence and the American left's need for fresh terminology. Buzzwords like 'limerence' offer insight into modern intimacy issues. The conversation touches on themes of vulnerability, precarity, and education, revealing the complexities of our emotional lives. Plus, a playful dive into what a 90s morning-show format for psychoanalysis would look like adds a humorous twist!

In this engaging conversation, Grace Byron, a talented writer and novelist known for her debut novel Herculine, dives into the complexities of trauma and identity within the trans community. She discusses the eerie blend of occult themes and emotional rivalries in her work, shedding light on how trauma shapes healing journeys. Grace critiques separatist fantasies and highlights the power dynamics that can emerge within marginalized communities. The discussion also delves into the implications of conversion therapy and the nuanced realities of therapy practices.

Dive into the fascinating world of AI and psychoanalysis! The hosts tackle the paradox of AI as a desireless conversational partner. Did you ever think about AI 'torture fantasies' or how we evaluate its sentience? They ponder Grok's absurd trolley problem answers, revealing surprising preferences. Plus, discover why a desireless AI might feel like the perfect therapist—offering a sterile yet reassuring presence. Prepare for thought-provoking discussions that bridge psychology, ethics, and pop culture!

In this enlightening discussion, sexuality educator Lucie Fielding explores her transition from academic erotic literature to therapy, emphasizing the themes of her revised book, Trans Sex. She delves into Freud’s concept of polymorphous perversity, illustrating how it opens up a nuanced understanding of sexual pleasure. Lucie redefines gender dysphoria as a reaction to oppressive narratives, advocating for a focus on pleasure rather than pathology. The conversation dances around the intersections of identity and desire, offering fresh perspectives on trans embodiment.

This Thanksgiving special dives deep into the myths surrounding gratitude rituals and the darker histories at play. The hosts examine how social performances of thankfulness mask realities of settler colonialism and historical violence. Freud’s theories are explored, revealing how primal acts can shape modern rituals. The discussion unfolds on the constructed nature of Thanksgiving as a national holiday and critiques the narratives that obscure indigenous perspectives. Listeners are invited to reflect on the complexities of memory, myth-making, and the ongoing impacts of colonialism.

Dive into the intricate world of Freud’s case history of Elisabeth von R. Discover the fascinating city metaphor that illustrates psychic life. Explore how familial dynamics shape personal narratives and individual symptoms. The discussion reveals the complex interplay between real-life experiences and the formation of psychological injuries. Uncover the distinct gender roles within Elisabeth’s family and her personal fantasies amid turmoil. It's a profound look at how we navigate suffering through the lens of psychoanalysis.

In this insightful conversation, Sarah Miller, a talented writer from Nevada City, delves into her essay, "Pirates of the Ayahuasca." She shares her transformative and harrowing journey from wildfire-ravaged California to the Peruvian Amazon, exploring themes of climate grief and the pressures of psychedelic tourism. Sarah vividly recounts intense visions and emotional struggles during ayahuasca ceremonies while reflecting on the ethics of Westerners seeking indigenous healing traditions. The discussion opens up a critique of capitalism in the wellness industry, leaving listeners with much to ponder.