Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie talks to those of you out there whose faith and trust crises are at least in part due to issues around the LDS church's doctrine, policies, and consequent treatment towards our sexual and gender minority friends and family members.  This episode focuses especially on scientific findings that clearly explain that sexual orientation is not a choice and therefore cannot be condemned or changed. Valerie analyses Gregory Prince's info-packed lecture titled "Science Vs. Dogma: Biology Challenges the LDS Paradigm of Homosexuality."This episode covers:The prevalence of homosexuality both in humans and other animalsLack of scientific understanding around the origins of homosexuality until relatively recentlyPreliminary research findings in the fields of genetics and epigenetic that prove that gayness is in-bornThe LDS church's historic attempts at encouraging "cures" for homosexuality and its consequent damage2 reasons why the church may be compelled eventually to change its doctrine and policyWhat we at the grassroots can and must do to love, protect, and champion this change to protect our gay loved ones as respectful but courageous reformersBooks mentioned and recommended:Gay Latter-day Saint Crossroads: My Journey, Your Journey, and a Scripture-based Path Forward, by Evan SmithTabernacles of Clay: Sexuality and Gender in Modern Mormonism, by Taylor PetreyHelpful Links for Listeners:Facebook Support Group:  I'll Walk With You – A Support Group for LDS Parents of LGBTQ+ ChildrenSupport the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie is interviewed by Kate Gregory, host of the growing podcast "In Her Image".  The main subjects addressed is the strange but undeniable fear that many in the orthodoxy seem to experience in the very idea of a living real-time relationship with a feminine divine.  Questions addressed include the following: Why is fear associated with a feminine divine? Why is there a connection between people seeking a feminine divine and their sometimes distancing themselves from the church?  Why MUST it be okay to "claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our conscience" and why MUST it be okay to "worship how, where, and what [we] may?"  (sound familiar anyone?  Yeah...this is our own article of faith, people!!) What is the possible correlation between a fear of the feminine divine and the formal patriarchal structures of much of conservative Christianity?  How do I address others who try to impose structure on my personal patterns of worship?Valerie placed this episode here specifically because issues of gender, power, and patriarchy are also highly correlated with LDS Faith Crisis.   Please jump over to "In Her Image" for a lot of wonderful insight and scholarship on Heavenly Mother. Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part V of V]In this closing episode of this information-packed series, Valerie and Nathan walk through the final portion of the LDS Faith Crisis Report and share the research team's formal insights, their recommended strategies, and specific tactics to help heal our suffering members in crisis.  These findings fall into five categories as follows: Close the history gap. Console Individuals in faith crisis Support families in faith crisis Provide pastoral counsel to those sufferingOffer outward facing compassionate service organized by the church.  This series is some of the most important content so far on desperately needs to be shared far and wide.  Please send on to your own friends and family.  Too many people are suffering and deserve love, compassion, and validation. The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: ⁠https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=cl⁠Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part IV of V]In this episode Nathan and Valerie break down what the researchers call the “Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection”, the typical and predictable emotional experience of one who experiences the LDS faith crisis.The 8 stages are as follows:InitiationSearchTroubling DiscoveryBetrayalHarsh TreatmentDistancingAnger Magnification, andDisaffectionVal and Nathan highlight how this painful experience is tragic in part because those in faith crisis are already experiencing massive anguish due to what feels like the crumbling of their very foundation and really want, need, and deserve compassion, love, and support.  But often they are shamed, shunned, or avoided.  They are hoping that shining a spotlight on this phenomenon will help more people become educated and eventually ease the grief and isolation of those who suffer. PLEASE SHARE THIS SERIES. The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: ⁠https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=cl⁠Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part III of V]Join Valerie and Nathan breaking down the fascinating research done by a team of experts who wanted to help the general authorities of the LDS church better understand what is REALLY going on amongst thousands of people in faith and trust crises in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  In this episode Valerie and Nathan break down what this research team found to be the typical trajectory of the crisis that so many of us experience.  Here are the following stages, which Val and Nathan review and analyze: Stage 1: True Believing phase Stage 2: Catalyst Experience phase Stage 3:  Traumatized believer phase Stage 4:  Traumatized disbeliever OR Less-literal believer phase Stage 5:  Secular participant OR ex/post Mormon phase.This analysis highlights no path to healthy activity in the church when one goes through our unique LDS version of Faith Crisis. Val and Nathan highlight the need for this painful issue to be addressed both from the leadership perspective and by helping those who suffer to better understand their own suffering and come to know how to navigate this issue with more psychological and spiritual agency. The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: ⁠https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=cl⁠Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part II of V]In this content-packed episode, Val and Nathan go deeper into the LDS Faith Crisis Report, breaking down and analyzing a LOT of information discovered by the team of researchers trying to help the brethren at church headquarters better understand the nature of the problems we as a church are having.  Covered in this episode:1. The Researcher's objectives Faith crisis definedResearchers analysis around why a focus on faith crisis is crucial for the survival of the churchThe need for new metrics to truly understand the state of health/sickness within the membership of the churchThe need for disruptive innovation (as opposed to sustainable innovation)Discovery of factors that drive faith crisis Demographics of those who suffer most frequently from faith crisis Reasons why faith crisis happens Repercussions of those who experience faith crisis Overview of survey findings  The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=clSupport the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part I of V]In this episode Valerie sets the stage for a detailed analysis of a report compiled by a team of highly talented Latter Day Saint scholars in various professional fields endeavoring to help the General Authorities of the Church better understand the nature of the current suffering of so many multi-generational LDS church members in faith and trust crises.This episode is the first of a five part series that will go deeply into all key aspects of this study and serves as a general overview covering why the study was performed, who performed it, a timeline of the development of this report, what they desired to communicate, how they tried to communicate it with church headquarters, and the reception this report received from the general leadership of the LDS church.This episode also breaks down what each of the following four episodes in the series will cover.  Buckle up...this report is both fascinating and tragic in its ability to articulate the depth of the problem we as a church are facing.  It also offers brilliant solutions.Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie addresses a listener's request to address her faith crisis grief from a psychological perspective.  Valerie uses this episode as an opportunity to talk about her own grief process both preceding her decision to start this podcast as well as her ongoing experience working through the grief that comes when our worlds are turned upside-down by faith and trust crisis.  She shares 10 specific points regarding your grief as you valiantly struggle with your own personal experience.The ten points that she discusses are as follows:Your extreme emotions are completely valid under the circumstances.  Our variation of faith crisis holds many classic components of "discovery trauma". Pay attention to your "window of tolerance" and practice self care using Dan Siegel's 4 pillars of emotional health.Process your grief in connection with safe others, even one person.  Do not grieve in isolation. Use your growing catalog of resources to find understanding about the nature of the crisis.  Seek sources that encourage your unique experience and are neither apologetics oriented or inflammatory.  Realize that your experience is far from unique.  The church is going through a major shift and there are more than you think worldwide who are with you. Reflect on other brave reformers who can give you strength and courage Recognize how the church has instrumental in the creation of your character and identity in ways that have actually propelled you in this direction of growthRecognize with self compassion the many ways in which your experience in the church has handicapped your ability to tolerate the struggles of faith crisisLook for the tender mercies of God in upholding you through these struggles When the time is right, notice that love has the power to heal while anger and hate has only the power to destroy, ourselves and others. This episode is in preparation for a special 5 part series where Valerie and Nathan are going to break down the GROUND-BREAKING LDS Faith Crisis Report that was presented to top LDS church officials in 2013.  Please SHARE this podcast.  Help educate others about struggles Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!Join Nathan and Valerie as they tackle another listener question.  In this episode they address that haunting and refusing-to-die statement about how the prophet will never lead the church astray.  Many of us in our orthodox days took this as a given and simply applied the blinders when something didn't feel congruent with this.  Now it is time to take a look at where that statement came from, some context about why it was said, and some thoughts regarding "prophethood" as being more "state" oriented than "trait" oriented [jump into the episode and Val will explain more about this!], and finally how paradoxical but possible it is for the well-intended misdirection of leaders to actually help us hone in on our own God-given discernment skills.  Are you SHARING this podcast far and wide??  THANK YOU!!Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie and guest co-host and fellow relationship therapist Brannon Patrick talk about the goodness and badness that happens at the hands of well-meaning but not-professionally trained bishops in a system where they are often expected [and endeavor] to run a three ring circus in their office consisting of marriage counseling, trauma recovery, addiction counseling, grief work, and complex mental health issues.  And mind you these bishops are often your average accountants, mechanics, or farmers.  Why does the church put people in these precarious positions?  And what harm is done as members expect this and as bishops earnestly try to provide this flavor of the modern-day miracle?  Val and Brannon break down the problems and walk through some simple solutions that require emotional intelligence and humility and both sides of the desk. **This episode does not address issues of bishops and the reporting of abuse. Please see episode #36 for more on this.Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming April 2025. To register/learn more, visit here.OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Check your email for the invite to our next session on Mon, Feb 3rd at 2 p.m. Central!CLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or ...