Help Me Be Me

For when you’re in the break-up zone that causes you to obsess over the person you just broke up with. This is for anyone who has just been broken up with or broken up with a person that they felt they loved – and now you’re obsessing and even Facebook stalking this person. Maybe you know this is not helpful but you can’t stop wanting to know what they’re doing, who they’re with, who they’re seeing now and what that person looks like. And that is hurting you even more! But it’s an obsession and you can’t stop. Firstly – I am so sorry you’re here! This time will end. You are in the hardest part right now – and the more you can do to be self-loving and be nice to yourself, the faster this will end. I’ve been here myself and it blows. But you can half the time you suffer if you do everything in your power to do what you know is best for yourself. And that includes some healthy tough love when it comes to policing yourself and what you allow your focus to rest on. This kind of a break up is way worse because it’s hitting you on multiple fronts – in other words, this is not just about the loss of love. With all break-ups, time is the greatest healer – but in addition to that, I want to empower you with some insight into your “why” so that you can begin to separate from the process you’re victim to, currently: the obsessing and salting the wound. So you can see the difference between the kinds of suffering: and see what is NOT truly coming from love. As usual there are three parts. The what the why and the how – the tools. This is for Chelsea. I heart you girl! Hang in there. X Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi peeps! This is an episode with a short meditation in part 3. It covers why soothing your body and reducing the chatter in your brain is the key to your ultimate happiness. As a society we tend to get hyper focused. We get into the groove of our job or our relationships – and we get stressed by how many things there are to worry about. Am I doing well as a person? Am I successful?” When will I get to the right level? How can I be more of what I want to be? Suddenly we’re looking straight down at our feet and trying to take bigger steps instead of keeping our eyes to the beautiful sunrise on the horizon. This is almost like an introduction to my podcast in that it is truly the KEY to every positive change you want to make in your life. It is also the key to happiness and also the key to finding your life’s purpose. What is it? Ready? Listen intently. Consciousness: Feeling the feelings that are going through your body as they come. Being fully connected to that awareness and not “occupied” be a roaring sea of thoughts or rapid firing fears and analysis. Sometimes it’s like facing a roaring lion because some terrible awful stuff lives inside us in many moments of our life. Feeling hopeless, or worthless or afraid of what if’s to come. And yet, we must allow ourselves to feel those things - it's the key to building your ultimate life. This is an episode with three parts. The general what, why, and then as a tool, I end with a meditation. Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week for the blog version of this post and I hope you enjoy this! Smile lovelies! xox Sarah-May Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This one’s for planet earth. We all have an internal self portrait –and that is created by the way we feel about who we are. There are SOOOOO many factors that control how we feel about ourselves – and what we perceive as our flaws. And that’s why BD is such a big problem: it looks and acts like “normal” self-image concerns. It walks and talks like vanity. And, yet, it destroys the average person’s happiness in so many ways across a lifetime, unchecked. Your self-image is a distorted hallucination – one heavily affected by your fears, vulnerabilities, your brain chemicals, and the way you integrate information from the world around you. AND when it comes to how we view our flaws, it has no connection to how the world views you or your actual physical appearance. That’s one reason this is such a powerful and rising problem is because it’s a kind of suffering that’s veiled as “normal.” An every-growing percentage of the population is dissatisfied with some or many traits of their physical appearance. When everyone you know obeys the same standard and marketing and media reinforce the irrational bar – how would you ever know there was another option? For the resources mentioned check out teaspoonofhappy.com later this week. Smile y'all! Xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This podcast explores how old conflicts can hinder our present lives, and offers strategies for letting go. It discusses the impact of replaying old emotional memories and how to break free from negative patterns. The importance of moving on from conflicts, navigating emotional harm in relationships, and choosing happiness are also highlighted.

Jealousy, or a perception of your insecurities come to life. How does it sneak into your mind? Your darkest thoughts in your most fearful voice begin scratching at your feelings, dragging you down and causing you to act as your lowest self. You assume you are less than and life is against you somehow. You're either not enough, or something else outside of you is not enough. What is this emotional state? Your lowest form of self, the self that is motivated by fear and hate, put in a threatened defensive position. Think of it as You minus your awareness of what is good and loving in this world. This low emotional self is also called your irrational self. Most of jealousy acts as a hallucination. It does not show you reality it shows you insecure self-loathing reality: in that world, no one likes you and all the fears you have about yourself are true. For many of us it is clear that we are in an emotionally charged, irrational state – however, we cannot stop ourselves from wanting to “solve” for the perceived insult. “Is it true?! If so, how true? I need to know!” Nothing will quench the irrational need to compute “why” we have been betrayed: we go into loops of solving, calculating, tallying, replaying. And jealousy has a very potent ability to madden us for that reason: it’s all consuming, it belittles us, and we are aware it’s inside of us and us alone. A self-inflicted pain with the power to torture and haunt our every moment. You will never arrive at your truth through jealousy - you can only do that from a calm, objective vantage point - so this is all about stepping back from the emotion so you can regain your sound thinking. The power behind jealousy is also the key to undoing it: it does not live in reality – it lives in our reaction to reality. So we can indeed help ourselves when we struggle in the triggered moments. Hopefully, I will offer you a few tools to help you navigate out of it and back to your true and highest self: grounded, making decisions from a balanced and sane mindset. There are three parts: The what. They why. The how: the tools. This one is for Fran - thanks for writing me and I hope you likee! xox Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For when you can’t stop feeling worried or obsessed with what is threatening your stability in life – a stress response based on past traumas or recent ones, for that matter. In this episode, ‘survival mode’ is the term we are giving a pervasive sense of fear and stress and anxiety over issues that are not a real threat, though they are experienced in hypotheticals. Survival mode drives people to obsessively think about painful things: things past, things to come, analyzing and solving endlessly. In other words – like the worst version of brain overdrive you can imagine and all the time. It’s so powerful that it takes over your life. This can come in varying degrees – from intolerable writhing panic to manageable but potent worry. Regardless, it’s always something that keeps you outside of your life – unable to truly engage and enjoy it as you see others do. Living in survival mode, you want to run and you don’t know where. This one is for Heather! I heart you girl – hope this helps the teensiest bit. For more of my writing head to TeaspoonofHappy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who has conflicts with someone they care about who wants to figure out ways to get out of those conflicts fast and productively. It’s about our emotional baggage – specifically the unmet needs from our childhood, and how those block us from being able to see and receive the love from people in our life currently. I will focus on how to get out of conflicts and pain and move into happiness and get more of what you want. How to better love others and better encourage love back. It’s a set of tools to stay out of blaming and resenting and let go of what you think they should do. So that you can empower yourself to get to more of what you DO want – which is shared affection and happiness. Hi friends! I’ve been away for a bit because I got hitched! It was awesome and wonderful. And now I’m back! I will do the usual 3 parts: The What, The Why, The How – the tools. And to be clear – this is about all relationships that involve conflicts between the needs of others and your own. About relationships that involve needs of others and your own – and when those don’t match up. For more check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile peeps! xo This one’s for Lara from Spain – thanks for writing me girl! :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is about noticing negative thought patterns when they’re happening. What are negative thoughts? Bad habits. They’re not You – they’re the voice of a bad computer framework operating through you being fed by a chemical addition. You are now used to the chemical results of this thinking, so your brain wants to repeat it. They are the trained in ways of being – basically muscle memory but in your brain. So based on old experiences, just like a river wants to flow down the lowest path, so do your thoughts follow existing trained in currents. The more often you have these thoughts – the stronger the habit becomes. In other words, you have trained in the path of the river with repetition. As a result of that – you now perceive and look for this thought habit in your everyday life – like if you’re thinking of mean people who hate you, you will see mean people who hate you. Because it’s your mindset now. Plus, now that you are looking for this thing, you find it – so negative thinking becomes self-fulfilling. What is most important about all of this: it’s all totally unconscious. The fact that they’re unconscious is also the key to stopping these thoughts! This episode is broken up into three parts. What. Why. How aka Tools. For the blog version, check out TeaspoonofHappy.com later this week. It also has my book references for anyone who wants to read further. Smile friends! xox For more of the Buddhist psychological types – check out “The Chemistry of Joy” – linked here: https://goo.gl/diu91t Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for a person who filled out my survey – I don’t know your name, but this is for you! I hope it helps. You asked how to break out of the vicious cycle of a narcissistic relationship. Because it can be extremely terrifying and painful and feel much like a hostage situation. The reason is that if you are in a relationship with a narcissist – you know how ruthless and dark their punishing can be. It also goes deep into your heart strings, puppeting you around like a raw nerve. In other words – they are master controllers and know exactly what to do to make you do what they want. And also they are WILLING to do it, at all costs. This episode is 3 parts – the what, they why, the tools. I will also provide a download for you on my site in case you are in a bad place and need to get a map out of this. For more check out Teaspoonofhappy.com and enter the headspace contest to win a year of free meditation!! Smile lovely friends - and look for the blog version of this post in the next week on Teaspoon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is a slashie? A creative person who knows that their day job isn't their real job: a busboy/actor; waitress/screenwriter/photographer; singer/production designer/legal secretary. Your slash is your professional makeup. In other words, most of us - if we are honest with ourselves. Because a creative thinker is many things, today if you are a slashie you are forging a new path in a wide open sea of opportunity, but you likely haven’t solved for that single, money-making passion just yet. But that’s a good thing – unlike how it might feel to a slashie – this stage is part of the process. Slashies are a growing percentage of the workforce because careers nowadays don’t have “work experience.” A creator can build a new app/community/business overnight and because of that, new job definitions are being invented every day. Thanks to equal opportunity of the internet, it’s like a claim-jumper era for creatives with a desire to build something new. It can be hard to choose a new career or even entertain the idea because if you are an adult, you want to be stable and have security. Because, hey - when you're a grownup, that’s what you are supposed to do. Thankfully nowadays there are all sorts of new avenues for creative thinkers to pursue professional careers based on their particular aesthetic and passions. So that’s what this is about. Five ways to better pursue your creative passions and figure out what can take your slashes to a more convenient or purpose-driven definition – for you as a creative voice with one lifetime on this earth. References: For the instagram marketing webinar head to: Ilovecreatives.com For B-school head to marieforleo.com For General Assembly, head to generalassemb.ly To find my reading list, head to: teaspoonofhappy.com/reading-list Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices