In order for a relationship system to thrive in a hostile environment, it needs three interdependent variables: 1) the system's ability to view the hostility proportionally to its response, 2) a rich and variable repertoire of response, and 3) a leader who can define themselves while remaining calm. These variables promote each other, with a leader who defines themselves increasing the system's response repertoire and helping others see their own potential to handle the environment. However, the absence of these variables inhibits the development of the others. It is important to focus on our own capacity to respond rather than playing the victim or blaming the threat.