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#840 - Oliver Burkeman - 8 Unexpected Lessons To Be Less Hard On Yourself

Modern Wisdom

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Embracing the Present: Overcoming Deferred Happiness

The concept of deferred happiness highlights a common human tendency to perceive life as a prelude to a more fulfilling future, rather than embracing the present. This mindset can prevent individuals from fully engaging in their current experiences, leading to a sense of life being toothless and unfulfilled. The struggle to recognize that real life is happening now is reminiscent of youthful summers that feel perpetually on the brink of starting but never truly begin. Such thinking is a protective mechanism against confronting the reality of mortality, which can be daunting and unsettling. Moving towards a more engaged existence requires awareness of one’s patterns of deferring fulfillment. Self-awareness can help individuals identify when they are waiting for a future moment to matter instead of valuing their current experiences. It’s essential to recognize that this perspective can shift with age, as the realization that life is happening now becomes increasingly evident. Ultimately, embracing the present is crucial in overcoming the paralysis caused by the belief that happiness lies in some distant future.

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