Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions!

The post holiday blues have hit everyone, but differently. Lola is having a particularly rough time with morning motivation! Laura has a free pass for her sockless sneakers this morning.

Vibes for the week:
Laura - Vestirsi Bags

Britt - Stick TV Show

Keeshia - ‘Musk DERANGEMENT Syndrome!’ DOGE Legacy Debate | Scott Galloway vs Kevin O’Leary

Then we jump into your questions!

DO I TELL HIM I’M PLANNING TO MEET OUR BIOLOGICAL PARENTS?
I’ve got a personal story here that’s been weighing on me, and I’m hoping to get your thoughts on it. Let me take you back to when I was born. I was adopted at just six weeks old, and right from the start, the adoption agency told my parents something surprising. They mentioned that my biological parents had also given birth to a baby boy two years before me, and that he, too, had been adopted. The agency asked if my parents would be interested in meeting him—my biological brother. And of course, my adoptive parents said yes.

So, from a young age, my brother and I have been close. We’ve celebrated birthdays together and grown up with that unique connection. Fast forward to now, and we’re both in the same stage of life—starting families of our own. It’s a whole new chapter, and it’s made me start thinking about meeting my biological parents. I’ve wondered if I should make an attempt to meet them and try to learn more about my roots. Here’s where it gets tricky. My brother, however, has absolutely no interest in meeting our biological parents. He’s content with the life he’s built and doesn’t want to stir the pot. So, here’s my dilemma: do I tell him I’m planning to meet our biological parents? Should I respect his wishes and not pursue this? Or do I just go ahead and meet them without mentioning it to him? I’m torn, and I’m curious—what would you do in my shoes?

ARE GIFT REGISTRIES IMPERSONAL?
I would love to know your thoughts on gift registries for a baby shower? I have a lovely friend who has created a gift registry for an up and coming baby shower. It has a variety of items of all different prices, so if you were wanting to get a more expensive item you could go in with a group of friends. I know this word gets thrown around a lot but it is giving me the ‘ick’. I understand wanting to receive items that you need/want, but it seems incredibly impersonal. With this registry you can get the gift directly delivered to the address. I’m not entirely sure how it works but you may not know who it has been gifted from on delivery. What do you think of gift registries for baby showers? Am I just being a sour puss?

HOW TO BE OKAY AT HOME ALONE?
I have recently bought a house with my partner (m30 & f30) and have been living here for a few months. Until now I’ve lived in share houses and with family, and have realised I haven’t had to spend many nights completely alone, and when I do I get quite nervous (safety wise) being by myself. I’ve travelled for work and holidays on my own in hotels/apartments and don’t feel scared, but I do when I’m in a house alone at night. Our house is in an outer, older suburb which is quite safe, but when my partner occasionally goes away (once every few months for work) I feel on edge… I love the ‘idea’ of a night to myself, watching and eating what I want but in reality I’m nervous and alert to any noises. My question is do other girls feel like this, and what do you do to feel more confident at home on your own?

DOES THE POST CHEATING SADNESS FADE?
Firstly, I’m in complete shock that I am in this situation; my husband and father of our 3 young kids told me the day before Mother’s Day (via text while he is away for work....solid) that he got black out drunk and had sex with someone while on a night out for a friend's birthday. He says he doesn’t remember and only confessed because I bluffed that I had evidence (other than a hectic thrush infection and a strong hunch I really didn’t have evidence). He says that he is ashamed and sorry etc. I am not angry and unfortunately understand where some of this kind of behaviour- like drinking to such excess comes from (his childhood trauma) but I am devastated. We had a beautiful relationship and a wonderful life and it feels like it’s all covered in shit now. So first question: will this feeling of sadness and shit covered relationship fade? Second question: do I have to come up with a list of demands/boundaries/changes that he needs to meet? Because that feels like a lot of work.. Is it his responsibility to come up with such parameters? And thirdly: do I have to tell people? I am worried my close friends and family will hate him beyond repair if I tell them but also don’t want to bear the load myself... is the relief of support worth the inevitable hate towards him? For the sake of our lives and relationships.

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Zara Yaqob

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