You could be having better sex and the science explains why, not because you’re broken or doing something wrong, but because most of us were never taught how desire actually works or how intimacy evolves over time. Instead, we’re handed myths, silence, and a lot of quiet frustration.

In this conversation, we explore why great sex is not something that just happens, but something you can learn, practice, and grow into at any stage of life. We talk about desire, pleasure, communication, midlife shifts, and how letting go of shame opens the door to intimacy that feels more alive, connected, and satisfying.

Dr. Nicole McNichols is an internationally renowned human sexuality professor at the University of Washington, where her course The Diversity of Human Sexuality is the most popular in the school’s history. She is also the author of You Could Be Having Better Sex, out February 3.

In this episode, you’ll discover

A simple mindset shift that makes sex more fulfilling over time
Why novelty matters more than frequency and how to add it without pressure
The overlooked role pleasure plays in mental health and resilience
What actually helps desire return in long-term relationships
A healthier way to talk about sex that builds trust and connection

If sex has started to feel confusing, disconnected, or quietly disappointing, this episode offers a grounded, research-backed way forward. Press play to learn how intimacy can become something you grow into rather than drift away from.

You can find Nicole at: Website | Instagram | Episode Transcript

If you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Emily Nagoski about the science of pleasure and sustaining sexual connection.

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