Relationships are bound to be impacted by ADHD, and if you’re living with your partner and they’re therefore privy to your most private moments, it can be a lot. We’ve explored the world of dating, but how does ADHD affect long-term relationships? People with ADHD might be spontaneous, passionate, intuitive, fun and creative, but inevitably other traits might come into play, such as conflict seeking behaviour, impatience, mood swings, irritability, recklessness, overwhelm and rejection sensitive dysphoria. I’ve been with my husband for nearly 20 years, and am very aware of his strengths in supporting me. But what if both partners have ADHD? Does this meeting of shared needs make for a supremely supportive, understanding and balanced partnership? Today, I’m joined by Jessica Kellgren-Fozard. A prolific vintage style content creator and YouTuber, Jessica is also a deaf and disabled activist, advocating for LGBTQ+ lives, and is one half of Jessie & Claud, where she and her wife share their experiences as Montessori mothers to their son, Rupert.

In this first part of our chat with Jessica, she shares how she met her wife, Claudia; how the relationship dynamic shifts when you have a child; the differences between how ADHD shows up for them and how that can create both balance and tension. We also talk about the challenges of rejection sensitivity.

Join us again next week for the second instalment of my chat with Jessica, when we’ll discuss emotional lability in a relationship, how she and Claudia support one another, and how Claudia helps manage her symptoms.

In a slight twist on our usual format, we have decided to share YOUR questions with the experts. This week, we ask Dr Jo Steer, a clinical psychologist and author of Understanding ADHD in Girls & Women: what is caused by ADHD and what is caused by trauma?

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You can find Jessica on Instagram here.

Jessica is also on YouTube.

If you are experiencing any issues with your medication, consult your doctor. Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. In the meantime, you can find more information here:

Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women, by Joanne Steer

Huge thanks to The Tape Agency for making this two-part special and taking such good care of me.

Please note, your first port of call if you think you might have ADHD should be your GP. This podcast is no substitute for professional medical care or diagnosis. In the meantime, you can find more information here:

The ADHD Foundation

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Erich Jantsch

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