Explore the multifaceted journey of grief through the lens of neurodivergence. Discover the complexities of emotional responses to various types of loss, including personal anecdotes about coping with life changes. Learn about the unique challenges neurodivergent individuals face in processing grief and the importance of understanding prolonged grief. The conversation emphasizes the significance of community support and shared experiences while validating diverse grieving processes. Tune in for heartfelt insights and strategies for emotional expression.
Liam Spicer emphasizes that grief is a unique, multifaceted experience that varies significantly among individuals, especially neurodivergent individuals.
The discussion highlights the importance of community support and personalized approaches when navigating the grieving process, particularly for neurodivergent individuals.
Monique and Liam explore the concept of 'normal' grief, advocating for the understanding that grief does not adhere to a fixed timeline.
Deep dives
Honoring Neurodivergence in Grief
Neurodivergence is framed as a unique perspective that allows individuals to embrace their differences and understand their personal journeys. For many, recognizing neurodivergence as a distinct way of thinking opens up pathways for self-discovery and self-compassion. The idea of 'walking a different path' resonates strongly within the neurodivergent community, emphasizing the importance of connecting with others who share similar experiences. This sense of community fosters acceptance and a deeper understanding of oneself, leading to a more fulfilling and connected existence.
The Complexities of Grief
Grief is a universal experience defined as a multifaceted response to loss, characterized by a range of emotions including sadness, anger, and guilt. The podcast highlights the importance of normalizing grief and understanding that it does not follow a fixed timeline, contrasting it with the often-misunderstood concept of depression. Instead of viewing grief as something that should diminish over time, it is reframed as a process of integrating the loss into one's life. Insights also stress that everyone experiences grief differently, shaped by numerous personal and environmental factors.
Impact of Neurodivergence on Grieving
Neurodivergent individuals tend to face unique challenges and reactions in the grieving process, influenced by both their neurological makeup and societal expectations. For instance, differences in emotional regulation can affect how neurodivergent people express and process their grief, leading to feelings of isolation during bereavement. The podcast emphasizes the need to recognize that grief may manifest differently, with various coping mechanisms that may not align with neurotypical expectations. It encourages understanding and validation for these individual differences as crucial elements in supporting oneself or others through grief.
The Role of Community and Support
The podcast underscores the significance of community support when navigating grief, advocating for a personalized approach that respects individual needs and preferences. Using the DLR framework—Doer, Listener, and Respite figure—listeners are encouraged to provide different kinds of support based on the needs of those grieving. It stresses the importance of checking in on what may be helpful for an individual navigating loss, rather than imposing one's view on how grief should be expressed. This approach acknowledges that while shared grief can be beneficial, individuals might require solitude, particular interests, or activities that assist them in their healing process.
Experiencing Grief and Loss Through Relationships
The conversation touches on personal experiences of grief, particularly in the context of familial relationships and challenges in starting a family. Miscarriages, while deeply painful, highlight the need for open discussions around loss and mortality, which often remain stigmatized. The host shares their own journey towards understanding grief and how these experiences fueled a passion for exploring these topics academically and professionally. The importance of processing grief in relation to neurodivergence is emphasized, revealing how experiences of loss can incite both research and emotional exploration.
On today’s episode Monique interviews Liam Spicer about grief and loss. Listeners will notice that Liam is not a neurodivergent woman, but we’ve decided to make an exception this time as Liam is an expert in the area of neurodivergence and grief.
Liam is a Senior Lecturer in Psychology, and he’s a Psychologist, EMDR Consultant, and Accredited Schema Therapist based in Launceston, Tasmania. He is also an Autistic ADHDer, and is passionate about training, research, and collaboration with other neurodivergent individuals in the Neurodiversity Affirming Space. Liam’s current PhD is focused on the use of Schema Therapy for Prolonged Grief, and he has published journal articles and book chapters on grief in addition to presenting at national and international conferences. His interest in this area is derived from both professional and personal lived experience of loss.
Just a quick warning for listeners, this episode contains mention of death and loss. Some of our listeners may decide to skip this one.
Monique and Liam cover:
Liam’s journey to understanding his own neurodivergence.
What is grief?
Is there such a thing as a ‘normal’ response to grief, and what are some common myths about grief.
Different types of grief and loss (and the validity of feeling big feelings about all of these types of losses!), including death loss, loss of aspects of daily living, loss associated with life transitions and with chronic or acute health conditions, loss of routines or coping mechanisms, and grief associated with diagnosis.
Some key factors for neurodivergent people and their supports to keep in mind when dealing with grief and loss, and strategies around managing these ND specific factors.
What is ‘Prolonged Grief’ and what can you expect when seeing a therapist for Prolonged Grief?
Liam’s personal experiences with grief and strategies for supporting grieving loved ones. (Note: this section discusses miscarriage loss, so consume with care if this is a tough subject for you).
You can find Liam through his website or on Instagram or LinkedIn @LiamSpicer.
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