65. How To Create Your Own Relationship Agreements (For Intimate Partnerships)

In episode 65 of "The Art of the Podcast," hosts Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer share how to form relationship agreements in intimate partnerships, and the extraordinary kind of partnership that becomes possible when we move away from assumptions of how each other will behave and into mutually aligned agreements about how we do relationship together. 

The episode dives into specific examples of agreements and practices that the hosts have found beneficial in their own relationship. The hosts share three different types of agreements couples should consider for a healthy and secure relationship, including agreements that specify interpersonal behaviors to support their success. They highlight the importance of these practices in regulating emotional responses and maintaining a secure, supportive relationship environment.

Finally, the episode explores the idea of relationship agreements as a living, evolving entity. The hosts encourage listeners to regularly revisit and adjust their agreements to reflect the changing dynamics of their relationships. They emphasize that these agreements should foster personal growth and not just comfort, framing them as safety rails on the journey of a committed partnership rather than tools to avoid discomfort or challenges.

Main Topics Covered:

• The significance of creating and maintaining agreements in intimate partnerships
• The importance of both partners understanding and investing in the relationship agreements
• Examples from hosts' own relationship, their recommendations of what agreements can really make a big difference, and three areas of agreements to consider
• The role of agreements in regulating emotional responses and maintaining a secure relationship environment.
• Framing agreements as the vehicle to move forward what we want to accomplish and as tools for personal growth and facing challenges

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• 3 Game Changing Conversations All Couples Should Have
• Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements
• AOW Episode 59 Gambling Everything For Love
• Stan Tatkin, PACT Model
• The Collaborative Way

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

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