How to Not Nice - Full Guide

https://newsletter.sankalpgarud.org/52waysguide

Ever feel like you're always putting others first, even if it means neglecting yourself? This episode dives deep into the surprising downsides of being "too nice." I explains how people-pleasing tendencies can lead to burnout , stifle your voice , and even damage your relationships.

If we haven't met 👋, my name is Sankalp, I am a PhD student in psychology at the University of Oxford.

We'll explore the root causes of this behavior (often linked to childhood experiences!), and learn powerful strategies to overcome it. I will show you how to set healthy boundaries, manage that pesky guilt monster, and finally develop the assertiveness you deserve .

This episode is your chance to understand why you might be "too nice," and take control of your happiness! Join me and let's build a more balanced and fulfilling life together! #selfcare #boundaries #assertiveness #personalgrowth #psychology

00:00 Introduction

03:16 Niceness is not the same as goodness

08:01 The selfishness spectrum

12:15 Resentment

13:03 Over-responsibility

13:46 Solution to niceness

14:42 Guilt

20:08 Covert contracts

21:50 Role of childhood

24:33 Exercise: find your rules

27:13 How to not blame others

28:41 Passive aggressiveness

31:48 Silent Treatment

32:37 Exercise: bill of rights

34:53 What are rights

36:30 Most social rules are malleable

37:28 Communication hacks

39:08 Putting it all into practice

39:55 Mindfulness meditation

42:11 Mind body pain

44:46 The cost of niceness