SFR 150: Competing With Your Attractive Character...

What's going on, everyone? It's Steve Larsen, and today, we’re gonna talk about how to compete with your Attractive Character.

 

I just spent the last four years learning from the most brilliant marketers today. And now, I've left my nine to five to take the plunge and build my million-dollar business. The real question is, how will I do it without VC funding or debt, completely from scratch? This podcast is here to give you the answer.

 

Join me and follow along as I learn, apply, and share marketing strategies to grow my online business, using only today's best internet sales funnels. My name is Steve Larsen, and welcome to Sales Funnel Radio.

 

Guys, I'm pumped for today. This could be a bunch of fun.

 

A lot of guys know, I was really shy for a long time, right? And I've mentioned that many times, and some of you guys have said, that's not true, Stephen. No way that's true, right?

 

But I was. I was really shy for a long time. I would say I even had a near-clinical fear of adults. You know, I would see an adult, and I would physically move in a different direction - I did that for a time.

 

Even into my early 20s, I was pretty shy. It's not that I was like cowering, or  that I wouldn't speak to anybody else...

 

It's just that I was doing everything that I could to not engage with human beings. I don't know why I was that way. It’s not that I was really reclusive… or that I was sitting back all the time, going, “ugh, it's a person.” That's not how I was at all. But there was no way I would be getting on stage now. There was no way I would ever do something like a podcast. Just the thought of that would freak me out. To have a camera on my face right now, there's no way.

 

When I finally became cognizant that I was this way, I started noticing all these business people who were amazing leaders. I’d be, “oh my gosh, check out those guys... Look at him, he's so impressive. He speaks and things sway. I wanted to develop that skill.

 

I started doing things like door-to-door sales for the explicit reason of learning how to sell in scary environments. I started doing telemarketing, for the explicit reason of going in and learning how to sell hard in environments where you're constantly getting rejected.

 

I don't know that everyone has to go through this kind of thing, but for me, I chose to start molding who I was... and who I was trying to become. It was a really challenging thing to go through.  As I started getting more into it, I noticed that my ability to speak and to give sales messages started improving.

 

Several years before I started working for Russell, I realized that I needed to get even better at this whole stand and deliver concept. I wanted to work out how to become… I don't wanna say, ‘a leader’… How to become... a ‘follow-able person’. It's kind of like saying leader.

 

Anyway, but I was trying to figure out how to do that. Because from my background, and where I was coming from - that was an insanely hard thing to do!

 

I would take my computer and find videos of people on stage. I did this specifically with Russell Brunson's stuff. This was way before we ever knew each other personally. I would take his videos - videos of him on stage, and I would go in front of a mirror, mute the video of him, so I could see him, but not hear him. And he'd be making all these gestures and I would mirror him. I would mimic him.  

 

I’d be moving around all over the place, mirroring and mimicking everything he was doing. It was so weird. It was awkward. I know that it’s weird, but it was what I needed to start breaking out of the shell I was in.. It’s how ‘Steve Larsen’ was born.

 

Fast forward, I was working for Russell, sitting next to him; I was about 40-ish episodes into Sales Funnel Radio...  We were running this thing called the FHAT event - the Funnel Hackathon Event. People would pay 15 grand for three days, and I would teach for hours. I mean, man, it was a long freaking time!

 

Well, the very first FHAT event, we were vetting out the content, we were making sure that everything was awesome and solid. Then, right before Russell goes on stage, he turns around at me, and he goes, "Hey dude. Do you wanna introduce me?"

 

I always make it a habit to say “YES’ - especially when someone with a lot of influence asks me to do something…  My knee-jerk reaction is to say “YES!” and then figure out how to do it later. This attitude has brought me to some cool places in life.

 

At the FHAT event, the room's filled with loads of people - very successful people.There's like 60 people in there, and many millions - tens of millions - hundreds of millions of dollars, collectively inside of that room.

 

There's a lot of Russells inner circle - and they know what the heck they're talking about, right? I was like, crap, I gotta get on and introduce…

 

The whole role of somebody who introduces somebody else is merely to raise the state of the room so that when the speaker comes on, they don't have to raise the state of the room. They can just walk on and start presenting.

 

Otherwise, the speaker spends a whole bunch of time to do that. Russell told me, “that's your role.”  I was like, crap! How can I do that? It's not like Russell's low energy. How do I introduce Russell Brunson in a way that suits who he is? That suits his audience?

 

It was very challenging for me. I remember sitting there. I mean, he asked me three minutes ahead of time, to go on and do this. Immediately I was like, okay, is there a script? Is there like a format that good introducers use to bring on other prominent people? There's gotta be something. What can I do?

 

Russell walked over, and he said, "Hey, just make sure you raise the state of the room- that way, I don't have to."

 

I was like, oh crap. Okay, another huge task. Okay, sweet. Inside, I was like, oh, crap! He could tell I was stressing out. He knew that I had done all that stuff, like stand in front of a mirror with his videos muted,  just moving around and mimicking what he's doing.

 

He knew I’d done door-to-door. He knew I’d done telemarketing. He knew I’d done a lot of stuff and become good at them so that I could break out of my shell.

 

Instead of fight the fact that I was in a shell, I accepted the fact, and just did things to come out of it.

 

Knowing this, Russell turned to me, and this is what he said, and this is the reason why I wanna share this with you... Because it really, really, really matters:

 

He turned to me, and he said, he said, "Dude, "You model me. It's quite impressive how you model me. You model me to the ‘T.’ You do everything that I do. You model me so well, but you’ve got to have your own voice eventually. Just do it how you’d introduce me."

 

It's funny because I knew that answer, but for Russell to say it ‘in that way’, I really took notice.

 

At that time, I'd already been publishing. I'd already been doing a whole bunch of stuff. I would already say that I had, quote, unquote, found my voice.  However, when he said, dude, you gotta have your own ‘isms’, you gotta have your own character, you gotta have your own thing, I started thinking through, what makes ‘me’ me?

 

These were all quick thoughts that were hitting me as I'm about to walk on stage. I don't remember what I said, but it went great. The energy in the room got really high. It's half the reason I yell like crazy, guys. Those are all little things that I do on stage before bringing somebody big on, and, and it's a bunch of fun.

 

What does this have to do with anything? It has to do with everything....

 

Your business competes in the marketplace based on how much value it provides, right? You're very valuable if you answer a lot of questions, if you solve things for people, if you give things that people want, if you give things that people need (I suggest you go for the wants, not the needs - You’ll make more money). However, let’s start thinking through what value your business gives to the ecosystem - to the market? Because that's where you compete on the business side - with your strengths.

 

How can you be the best? How can you deliver more? How can you be more than the other guy? How can you do things in an entirely brand new, unique way? That's  what the business side competes on. Strengths.

 

Your Attractive Character, however, doesn’t compete on strengths. Isn’t that interesting? Let me explain…

 

In the first office that I was a part of with ClickFunnels, Russell and I would sit back to back. His computer and my computer screens were facing each other, so I could see his reflection in my screen...

 

I'd be building these funnels - In the first two months, I was totally mute. I didn't wanna say anything. I was like, this is freaking Russell Brunson, like, oh my gosh, look, Y'all, oh my gosh. He's gonna melt me with his marketing zeroes and ones, huh! I’d see his reflection in my screen 24/7 right there, I was like, don't say anything or you'll die. That was my mentality.

 

I remember my desk was a picnic table that was slightly too high, and my chair was slightly too low - so I get a lot of back pain 'cause I have kind of long arms. These details are burned into my head... I remember the way that room smelled, I remember the way it looked, I remember everything about that room. Over to my right, there was a book. I never read it, but it was called: ‘How The World Sees You.’ And on the back, it said two things. One of them was, “Don't compete on your strengths. Compete on your differences.” I thought that was really interesting.

 

The other one was, “You don't learn interesting, you unlearn boring.”

 

Now, I wanna look at those two phrases real quick. You have to understand that this is HOW your Attractive Character competes.

 

On the business side, you compete on strengths. Your business, the systems, the offer, the marketing.

 

But with your attractive character (which marketing bleeds into for sure) - You don't compete on strengths! Somebody will always be better, faster, stronger, right or  better-looking, right? Does that make sense?

 

Someone's always gonna be more talented. Someone's always gonna be boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So on that measure, your attractive character will die.

 

It’s the fastest way to entrepreneurial suicide; to start competing with your attractive character on strengths because it’s never gonna be enough.

 

You start comparing yourselves to ideals. The problem with an ideal is that it’s fluffy, it's fictitious, it's out there. There's no way for you to know if you'll ever hit it... And because of that, it's not measurable - so it's not attainable.

 

As an entrepreneur you start spinning your wheels and comparing yourself to an ideal. To strengths. Don't do that. Don't do that.  I did that for a long time. I'm speaking from experience with this stuff. I did that for quite some time. It sucked. It was hard because you start saying things like, “man, I don't know if I'm ever gonna make this. Am I ever actually gonna be successful with this?” Right?

 

Every one of us has said that. Come on, I know we all have, right? Am I ever gonna, is something wrong with me? Oh my gosh, another two people made a million, you know, made the two comma club today. Crap. Gosh, dang it. Are you kidding me? Right? What's wrong with me?

 

Something must be wrong with me, because it’s not the funnel, it's not this, it's not that. It has to be me, right? And the entrepreneur starts to blame themselves because they're comparing themselves to where the other people are. They're comparing themselves to another person's business. That's a stupid comparison. Don't do it.

 

The way to move forward on the Attractive Character is to compare YOU to YOUR history. That's it. That is what keeps you from, from self-sabotaging, from literally burying yourself. It's like your brain eventually turns submarine mode, and it doesn't know how to go back up.

 

You start sinking-and going further, and further down. Oh crap, I can't get this, something must be wrong with me, because all these other people are getting it done.

 

You're comparing themselves with somebody's business. Stupid, dumb comparison. Because while a business competes on strengths, an attractive character competes on DIFFERENCES - YOU compete on your differences.  It is so much easier. My gosh, guys, you’ll save your sanity.

 

If you guys haven't been following me on Instagram, (I think you'll like it)... Monday morning, I always yell, and it's exactly what it sounds like. I yell. I get up, and I yell, whoo, yeah.

 

What I've been doing lately is having a whole bunch of you guys yelling back.  In the the highlights - Russell's in there yelling, Peng Joon's in there yelling - it's really fun.

 

Go check it out if you want to; you'll see what I'm talking about. But why do I do that? It's because it's what I would do anyway. I'm just me, but louder… That's the real trick with becoming an attractive character.

 

This internet business, does not exist for you to have to change into someone you’re not... Meaning there's this facade, right? There's this facade about what it means to be successful. I don't want any expensive fancy cars. Heh. Right? I'm not living in a mansion, urgh. Right? And there's this facade that's complete garbage when it comes to what it means to be successful on the internet. There's this persona that you have to go live. It's crap. It's complete garbage. Don't believe it. It doesn't make sense.

 

For those people who are doing it because that's who they truly are, great, I'm not poo-pooing on that. Like, that's great, okay, stay that course. That's awesome.

 

What I'm saying is those of you guys who are not naturally that way - you don’t have to pretend. If you want those things, that's awesome, but you don't have to pretend to be someone different to be successful.

 

I'm saying this because I've heard a lot of people say things to the equivalent of, I don't even own a briefcase, how can I be successful, urgh. Right? It's like, what? That's not what the game's about, right? Your business competes on strengths, but your Attractive Character competes on differences.

 

What makes me ‘me’ is how I compete; so I listen to music more openly, 'cause I'm always listening to music - my kind of music. I don't care if people don't like it because it’s one of the things that makes me different.  

 

On the business side, I can't say that though. When it comes to products, I need to have slight reactions to what the market wants me to build for them…

 

However, for the Attractive Character, that's not how it works. I can do all the quirky things I love to do. The little character traits that I have that make me a bit weird... those things that I don't necessarily want other people to see... Man, those are your freakin' superpowers. That's the stuff to go publish about.

 

Right now, I'm yelling into a camera in an office by myself. It would be weird for other people to come to see this. I don't care. Right? For a long time, I would've cared though, 'cause I had that same perception.

 

I was like, this is what it means to be successful in this business; I have to go have X, Y and Z over here. I need to have this kind of suit, and I must look this way, I must act this way. I must be slightly recluse from all of these other people and set myself apart…

 

(I still have to be a little bit reclusive sometimes, when I'm around other people,  just to recharge, but it's not for the same reason. Mentally, I have to recharge, 'cause there's a lot of questions 24/7 at events, you know. Whoo, and I'm like, whoa, I gotta separate and isolate for a second)

 

When I hear somebody say, “I don't know that I can be successful because I have a stutter” or I have this limitation or that limitation, or I'm dyslexic, or I have ADHD. Man, that’s just wrong!  

 

I had this counselor once tell me that I have a lot of tendencies of ADHD. And for a long time, I used to think that this was a hindrance. That's garbage. It's bullcrap.

 

Did you know that most billionaires are dyslexic? Seriously, go look it up. Richard Branson - the guy's dyslexic - it didn’t stop him.

 

Whatever it is about you - I'm not just talking about dyslexia, and you know, ADHD and stuff, whatever - I don't care what it is. Whatever it is about you that makes you feel incompetent- is actually a superpower. Stop acting like it’s a hindrance.

 

The beauty of the internet is that you can become who you are, even more, louder. You don't have to change you -  just be a louder you. That's what the attractive character is.

 

Instagram's kinda fun, 'cause I can do a lot of the little snapshots of what I'm doing throughout the day. I have a little dummy down there that I beat the crap out of. I'm gonna name it ‘Poverty’, so I can beat the crap out of ‘poverty’ every morning. It's really fun. But no one's telling me to do that. That's my own creativity and my own little weirdness kicking in. That's great for my Attractive Character.

 

What's funny is that if you try to go and you compete on strengths, if you try to be something that you’re not - IT WILL SINK YOU. You’ll have a tough time connecting with your audience. Your audience won't feel your authenticity if you're not being true to yourself. People can smell it. They can.

 

When you start having thoughts like, I don't know that I can do this because I have, blank. I have a limitation because of, blank. I have a limitation because of, blank. Those things are the things that you should be publishing about!

 

Not that it's a pity fest. Not that you're walking around all the time, saying like, oh well, follow me, I'm terrible at this. I'm awful at that. That's not what I'm saying at all. The reason I can push so freaking hard, is because I do have some ADHD tendencies. I’ve got a lot of friends who can't do that. It is a superpower.

 

When I talk about this, all of you guys who feel the same way - you reach out to me and you say, I getcha. I feel ya. I'm with ya. I understand what you're saying. If I wasn’t willing to expose my vulnerabilities - the things that I feel I'm limited on - I wouldn’t be able to connect with you in the same way.  Does that make sense?

 

That is why I tell everyone to publish so much. Don't take on a persona that doesn’t feel like you. Just be you - louder.

 

While  businesses competes on strengths and the ability to give results, your attractive character competes on differences. You don’t need to compare yourself to somebody else. If you're comparing your business to somebody else’s, I don't see a massive problem with that, as long as you feel like you’re not your business. You know what I mean?

 

Sometimes in an agency setting you are the business. Well, that can be dangerous. You'd be like, well, I suck at this, I suck at this. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. Bad.

 

The reality is that you don't have the ‘systems’ in place to get those things done. That's not YOU!  It’s your business. Right? So get in the habit of running your critiques through a filter.

 

You need to ask’ “Is this a business-oriented adjustment, or is this just, who I am?”

 

On the business side; judge, and critique away. It’s your baby and it's always broken. Don't fall in love with it. But when you head over to the attractive character side; don't judge yourself on how you’re different.

 

Your difference is your superpower - it’s what lets you be you. It's what calls out your tribe and provides the blanket of security for the people who follow you. What makes you attractive, what makes you followable, is your ability to be open with the things that you're not amazing at, your little quirks, the things that you ‘like’ or ‘don't like’ -  the polarity that you have…

 

When I say, “I hate this” or “I love this” - It's very polarizing. When I say “I freakin' hate VC funding, I can think of 99% of businesses that probably didn't need it.” I understand that some people are not gonna like that, and that's okay because it's me. I'm totally fine with that.

 

So as you think about your attractive character, don't judge yourself. Don't come over here and be like, oh, I should change, I should be this, I should...

 

I'm always for self-improvement, but don’t tie your self-worth to the worth of your actual business. Don’t tie your self-worth to the value of your offer, or how many people you’ve helped - You are NOT the business.

 

If you’re in this scenario, you need to start separating your business from your attractive character. You can be an attractive character of the business. Every business should have one. However, you are NOT the New Opportunity. You are NOT the Offer. You are NOT the Cause. You ARE the Attractive Character.

 

Every mass movement needs an Attractive Character, a Cause, and an Opportunity. However, the attractive character is in its own category. The Cause and the Opportunity are separate too. They are not judged on the same report card as the Attractive Character.

 

Anyway, I think I've beaten this one down like crazy. I just wanna help entrepreneurs to stop beating ourselves up. If you’re not like everyone else, then good, great, awesome. Be louder about it! You'll find it’s actually an accelerant. It's a catalyst, an enzyme. *Other synonyms*. So that you can go forward faster. Boosh!

 

But only, if you're willing to be open about your differences - that's the key- and the caveat. Again, it’s not a pity fest. That's not what I'm saying at all. Those little quirks are the things that make you amazing and unique.

 

Anyway, I think I've said the same thing like 12 times now, but it's because I'm trying to hit it home! Now, I challenge you to sit down and start thinking about what makes you different. Either write it down - or just start being cognizant of it.

 

I like guns - there's a sniper rifle behind the camera right there. It's an Airsoft sniper rifle. I don't care about being politically correct - because it's me. So start writing down these things. Start being cognizant of who you are - and then be willing to share those differences.

 

It may require you to drop a wall that you’ve been building because you're afraid of people seeing the true you. “I'm not clean all the time… Sometimes I'm a slob, heh.” Whatever. I don't care, okay?

 

My garage downstairs, it's not painted. Urgh, it shouldn’t be on Instagram because it's not painted, right? I hate that kinda garbage. On stage the other day we were talking about the stack slide. We were talking about using certain scripts, and I was talking a little bit about this…

 

There's one great therapy known to help people get past the fear of doing these kinds of things. It's really interesting. So if you guys raise your arm out at a 45-degree angle in front of you. Next bend, right, at the elbow. So your arm's out 45 degrees, starting bending at the elbow, and then get your hand, kind of like right by your face. Kind of like right by your cheek right here.

 

While you have been watching this, while you have been listening to/ reading this, without you knowing, I have ‘ninja-ly’ (that's a new word)... Like a ninja, I’ve placed the most deadly spider on your face from South Africa, and it's gonna bite your face.

 

Okay, get that thing off. Just slap that face. Yeah, right, get it done. Get it out there, right?

 

I couldn't tell if it was offensive when I did it on stage, or if it was actually  really cool. But you got the point, though?

 

Just buck up a little bit, and you guys are gonna be awesome. I care about you so much, okay, so much. I think about you guys like, 24/7, and that's 'cause when I look back and see where I've gone, both from a revenue and a business standpoint - it's humbling, right? But I was not expecting all of this other stuff ‘mentally’ to have to happen.

 

Am I an attractive character? My attractive character has now come to a point and a spot, where it is... My business doesn't move past the level of my attractive character anymore. I now have to develop individually, personally, mentally because my business will not move past the level of my attractive character. It's fascinating.

 

Anyways, guys, I hope that that was helpful. It's a long episode. Thank you for tuning in. I appreciate it. Hopefully, this episode has made you cognizant of the power that you have inside of you. The power that’s already there.

 

All right, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

 

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