There’s the sex life you have, and then there’s the sex life you want. So how do you actually get the one that you want? This is something a lot of people struggle with, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to explore tips for changing the relationship we have with ourselves, tips for changing the relationships we have with other people, as well as ways of simply making sex more fun.

My guest is Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, former Sex Crimes Deputy District Attorney for the Los Angeles County D.A.’s Office, and author of The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love.

Some of the topics we explore include:

What is the “27 things” exercise, and how can it help you to get clarity on what you want from your intimate life?
How can we better manage body image issues that are hindering desire for and enjoyment of sex?
How can we avoid hopping on the “relationship escalator” with a partner who might not be meeting our needs?
What are some ways to make planned sex good sex?
How can we bring the fun back into sex?

Make sure to check out Rena’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology

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Thank you to our sponsors!

I’m excited to announce a new edition of my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality! This is the third edition of the book, and it’s the biggest and best version yet. The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to the major theories and perspectives on sexuality and the vast diversity in sexual attitudes and behaviors that exist around the world. You can check it out here.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Megan Hoyt, "The Greatest Song of All: How Isaac Stern United the World to Save Carnegie Hall" (Quill Tree Books, 2022)