15. How We Protect Each Other (Even From Ourselves)

Our agreement to “protect each other in public and in private, even from ourselves,” helps us experience higher levels of  trust and security in our partnership. This commitment requires that we examine less conscious behaviors and patterns that can easily slip under the radar and create undesirable impacts on our “We.” In this episode, we discuss what this looks like in practice and why it’s so important for us. 

Have you ever heard someone complaining or putting their partner down, even if in a joking way? Not only is it uncomfortable to witness, but it also reveals where there are unmet needs or unresolved issues in the partnership. When they’re not addressed inside the partnership, these issues leak out sideways and can cause public misunderstandings or inaccurate filters about your partner and ultimately cause insecurity in the relationship. 

Protecting each other from ourselves requires us to take an honest look at the unspoken judgements, jabs or filters that we have towards our partner. Left unmanaged, we are not being for our partner or their success, and we are not doing the work necessary for a secure and extraordinary “We.”. 

In this episode we share examples of where we struggle as a couple and how we work through challenges. We invite you to take a candid look at one of your relationships: do you not feel protected in some way or where you might not be protecting the other person? If so it’s a great opportunity to deepen your relationship by discussing it and potentially come to a new agreement together around this topic. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

• The benefits of feeling protected and cared for by your partner 
• Letting each other have autonomy over their story and what’s shared in public 
• How this agreement ties into our commitment to reduce the damage of unmanaged thirds 
• Getting curious about your reaction first before immediately responding 
• Being a witness to your tone, voice, and delivery when you communicate 

Resources Mentioned

• Our episode on unmanaged thirds: 14. Handling External Distractions + Shiny Objects 

Get in Touch: 

• Art Of We Website
• Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute
• Krista’s Instagram
• Will’s Instagram

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