S02E03 The Explain Not Persuade Episode

Theresa's BIG Reflection Question: How can I have an opinion or take a stand on something, without other people taking in personally, or feeling judged.

"Strong back soft front." ~Joan Halifax

Is taking a stand the same as having an opinion?

How can you care about someone and want to persuade them that you are right?

Can you take a stand without persecuting someone?

Values as our stand

Conversations don't always have to be confrontations

Be open to NOT wanting to change people's minds

Persuasion is different than explanation

"For most of us the opposite of speaking isn't listening, it's waiting" ~Daniel Pink

Asking people for their sources puts them on the defensive

Logos (what we say), Ethos (character of person), Pathos (affect we are creating in others)

How convincing others doesn't work and often doesn't bear fruit

Judging activities and not people

Difference between judgment (good/bad) and discernment (like/don't like)

The importance of the words we use

Swap good/bad for useful/not useful to be less judgmental

The lens we see things through

Divide between consequentialists (duty pound) and utilitarians (principle bound)

We need to take a stand for things to change

How relationships shift whether we need to take a stand

Constructive and destructive anger - fighting to be right, or for what is right

You can't be fierce in a vacuum

Our stand doesn't have to be other's stands

Is making a decision taking a stand?

Can our world exist without people taking a stand?

Not just what we do, but the environment, timing, and people matters

How/where does authority and power come into play

Dissention among individual contributors doesn't necessarily create change

Taking a stand when your manager gives you another project

Not just what you say, but how you say it matters