Parent Math with Domenica Ruta

In this Parenting Is a Joke snack episode, Ophira Eisenberg talks with bestselling author Domenica Ruta about the messy, improvised reality of writing and parenting while raising kids. Domenica describes how her creative process has nothing to do with 4 a.m. routines—rejecting Glennon Doyle’s approach with a “bitch, please” and instead likening her schedule to a Jackson Pollock painting made of poop. She recalls pounding out an “ugly” first draft while pregnant, then facing the absurd parent math of paying more for childcare than she earned from freelancing. The two trade stories about breast pumps that seemed to chant insults—never encouragement—and even hatch the idea of a pump that offers affirmations instead of taunts. Domenica also reflects on the painful friend attrition after her baby shower, the pushback she got from publishers who didn’t want a book about motherhood, and her insistence on telling her novel All the Mothers through many voices—including even babies’ points of view. The conversation ends with her pride in shaping a book that reflects the real chaos and shifting center of family life, even if, as Ophira jokes, the next draft should just add a sniper.

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