Look away now, West Ham fans - we’ve got to have a chat about how poor they’ve been this season, with the real threat of relegation looming over them. Rest assured that Marcus, Luke and Pete lay the lion’s share of the blame at the owners’ door after years of mismanagement.

Elsewhere in more positive corners of correspondence, we settle on this year’s best players - based solely on vibes - and round up some of our new year resolutions for football. Plus, fans pissing on the pitch and a listener stumbles into what turns out to be yet another Donnyganger.

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Sound On: Sen. Marsha Blackburn, Tech, Taxes