Joey Pontarelli, founder and president of the ministry 'Restored', joins Jake and Bob to discuss healing from divorce. They delve into the wounds caused by divorce, practical advice for responding to this woundedness, and the importance of love and building a relationship with God for healing. They also explore the impact of divorce on individuals and families, the emotional struggles experienced, and the significance of being emotionally honest. Additionally, they touch on healing and woundedness in marriage and the role of parenthood in finding healing.
The wounds from divorce can lead to destructive habits and sinful behavior as a flawed remedy.
Running away from our wounds is futile; we must face them and understand that we are made for more.
God understands and loves us in our struggles with sin, and healing begins with reaching the wound of broken love through love.
Deep dives
The Impact of Divorce on Emotional Well-being
Divorce can have a profound impact on individuals, particularly children. It can lead to feelings of abandonment, rejection, powerlessness, fear, and confusion. These wounds can manifest in various ways, such as emotional problems, relationship struggles, and destructive habits. The beliefs that develop from these wounds often include feeling unwanted, alone, and lacking worth. As a result, vows may be made, such as never getting married or never trusting again. It is important to recognize and address these wounds and beliefs in order to begin the healing process.
The Importance of Relationship and Emotional Honesty in Healing
In the journey to healing from the wounds of divorce, relationships play a vital role. Genuine connections with others can help individuals see the face of God and experience His love and mercy. Trusted individuals can serve as ambassadors for Christ, reminding individuals of His patience, mercy, and kindness. Additionally, emotional honesty with oneself and with God is crucial. Expressing feelings of anger, fear, and mistrust is not only allowed, but necessary for healing. These vulnerable conversations can foster deeper intimacy with God and open the door for His healing presence.
Practical Steps for Healing and Restoration
Several practical steps can be taken to aid in the healing and restoration process. First, consuming quality content that addresses healing and trauma can provide valuable insights and understanding. Reflecting on one's own story, particularly in relation to family dynamics and relationships, can also be beneficial in terms of promoting neural connectivity and fostering a healthier mindset. Seeking support through coaching, therapy, spiritual direction, or mentorship can provide guidance and assistance throughout the healing journey. These practical steps, along with a commitment to ongoing prayer and relationship with God, can contribute to healing and restoration from the wounds of divorce.
Importance of facing and addressing brokenness
Facing and addressing our brokenness is crucial for personal growth and transformation. Denying or avoiding our pain only perpetuates the cycle of dysfunction. By acknowledging and working through our wounds, we can experience freedom, joy, and peace that surpass anything we have previously known. It may be challenging and take time, but the rewards are worth the effort.
The role of healing in breaking the cycle
Healing from brokenness is not just important for personal growth but also has a broader impact on relationships and families. People from broken families often struggle with taking risks and playing it safe in life due to a lack of a safety net. By focusing on healing and building healthy relationships, individuals can break the cycle of dysfunction and create a better future. Seeking support from mentors, spiritual directors, therapists, and building deep friendships is instrumental in the healing journey.
This week, Jake and Bob are joined by Joey Pontarelli, the founder and president of the ministry “Restored”. After finding a lack of help after his parents’ divorce, Joey decided to begin ministry with “Restored” to offer practical guidance and support for teens and young adults from broken families. Jake, Bob, and Joey discuss the wounds that come from divorce, their personal experiences, and practical advice on how to respond to this woundedness.
Key Points
If there isn’t any transformation in the wounds, then the sins we fall into, as a remedy, make sense. They don’t work, but they make sense.
We often don’t want to face these wounds, so we try to outrun them. But we can’t outrun our wounds. We’re made for more than that.
The Lord understands why you struggle with each particular sin. It doesn’t surprise or scandalize Him. And He loves you where you are.
Divorce is a wound of broken love. So the medicine can only work when you reach the wound. Love is what heals.
Relationship with God is the primary healing element and agent. Give God your attention, quality time, and trust Him.
Consume great content that involves trauma and healing. Seek out coaching - a therapist, spiritual director, or mentor. Have a good community and deep relationships.
For a healthy marriage - spend time with a couple who has a healthy marriage.
The temptation in marriage is to harden your heart and to close yourself off. But instead, we are called to tenderness and vulnerability.
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