LESSONS IN BITTERNESS: How to let go of the 'should have beens'

Bitterness is the poison you drink expecting someone else to die. It's the corrosive emotion born from crisis that fills your throat with bile and consumes your every waking thought with questions like "why me?".

In this special compilation episode, I've pulled together five extraordinary conversations with people who have every right to be bitter about what they've faced, but who have found their own methods of beating it back: Anthony Scaramucci, fired from the White House in 11 days while missing his son's birth and facing divorce; Amanda Knox, who served four years in an Italian prison for a murder she didn't commit; Mo Gawdat, former Google X exec who lost his son Ali to medical negligence; Lisa Squire, whose daughter Libby was tragically abducted, raped and murdered; and David Holmes, Harry Potter's stunt double who was paralysed from the waist down in an accident that should never have happened. 

LESSONS YOU'LL LEARN:

Close the gap between "should" and "is" - Bitterness lives in the space between what ought to have happened and what actually did. Accept the world as it is, not as you think it should be.

Shift from victimhood to agency - Work out what is in your control and what isn’t, then focus on the former.

Pair emotional honesty with tiny steps forward - Feel everything, embrace it, sit in it - but understand that emotion alone changes nothing.

Choose your narrative consciously - In any crisis, there are multiple stories you can tell. Choose those that dial up pride, purpose or perspective and dial down bitterness.

Forgiveness is for you, not them - Holding onto blame and hate doesn't punish those who wronged you; it only prolongs your suffering.