“You are not too ‘irrational’ to know your preferences.” by DaystarEld
Nov 27, 2024
This discussion challenges the idea that personal preferences can be deemed irrational. It emphasizes the validity of individual feelings and the importance of compassionate communication in relationships. The nuances of social dynamics within communities are explored, highlighting the risks of conforming to group norms. It also addresses the relationship between rationality and personal values, advocating for the recognition of one's unique desires without being overshadowed by communal expectations.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Embrace Your Preferences
Don't ignore your preferences out of fear of irrationality.
Embrace your wants; they're valid experiences, not beliefs to be judged.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Ice Cream Disagreement
Ash wants ice cream, but Bryce lists its downsides, calling the desire 'stupid'.
This highlights how 'rationality' can be misused to invalidate wants.
insights INSIGHT
Wants vs. Beliefs
Wants are feelings, not beliefs subject to rational scrutiny.
Reason's role is deciding how to act on wants, not judging them.
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Epistemic Status: 13 years working as a therapist for a wide variety of populations, 5 of them working with rationalists and EA clients. 7 years teaching and directing at over 20 rationality camps and workshops. This is an extremely short and colloquially written form of points that could be expanded on to fill a book, and there is plenty of nuance to practically everything here, but I am extremely confident of the core points in this frame, and have used it to help many people break out of or avoid manipulative practices.
TL;DR: Your wants and preferences are not invalidated by smarter or more “rational” people's preferences. What feels good or bad to someone is not a monocausal result of how smart or stupid they are.
Alternative titles to this post are "Two people are enough to form a cult" and "Red flags if dating rationalists," but this [...]
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Outline:
(02:53) 1) You are not too stupid to know what you want.
(07:34) 2) Feeling hurt is not a sign of irrationality.
(13:15) 3) Illegible preferences are not invalid.
(17:22) 4) Your preferences do not need to fully match your communitys.
(21:43) Final Thoughts
The original text contained 3 footnotes which were omitted from this narration.
The original text contained 2 images which were described by AI.
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