Leaving the Mormon Church to Save My Family - Elisha Lee | Ep. 1925
Aug 5, 2024
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Elisha Lee, a former member of the Mormon Church, shares her poignant journey of faith, starting with childhood experiences of divorce and shame. She reflects on the emotional complexities of leaving organized religion, including the pressure of conformity and personal doubts. Elisha discusses the challenges of marriage and parenting post-Mormonism, the influence of community support through platforms like TikTok, and how her evolving identity has reshaped her understanding of family and belonging. Her story is a powerful exploration of healing and self-discovery.
Elisha Lee shares her journey of personal growth amid the emotional turmoil of questioning her faith and identity.
The impact of cultural expectations within the Mormon community fosters internal struggles, particularly regarding modesty and self-worth.
Navigating mixed-faith relationships requires open dialogue and empathy to accept differing beliefs while maintaining connections.
Elisha emphasizes the empowerment that comes from embracing authenticity and pursuing passions outside the confines of religious teachings.
The sense of community gained post-deconstruction fosters acceptance and understanding, encouraging growth beyond previous religious affiliations.
Deep dives
Navigating Identity and Doubt
The podcast features an in-depth discussion about the complexities of navigating one's identity while grappling with doubts about faith, particularly in the context of Mormonism. The speaker shares experiences of questioning long-held beliefs and highlights the emotional turmoil that comes with contemplating leaving a community that has significantly shaped their identity. They emphasize the struggle many face when their upbringing is intricately tied to their religious beliefs, leading to confusion and fear about what it means to question those foundational tenets of faith. This reflection on identity underscores the challenges of reconciling personal doubts with communal expectations and familial ties.
The Impact of Divorce on Faith
Through the conversation, the speaker recounts how their parents' divorce influenced their understanding of family permanence as taught by the church. Significant feelings of anxiety arose when the concept of eternal families was presented during a church lesson, making the speaker feel as though their family would not be together in the afterlife. This early experience created a conflict between the idealistic view of marital stability promoted by church teachings and the reality of their familial situation. It became a source of internal distress, highlighting how church doctrines can create fear and anxiety, particularly in children who may internalize these teachings.
Cultural Norms and Personal Struggles
The podcast explores how cultural expectations, particularly around modesty and purity within the Mormon community, impact personal identity and relationships. The speaker shares a pivotal moment during a church fireside focused on modesty, where the stringent definitions of acceptable attire ignited feelings of conflict and frustration. This event served as a catalyst for questioning the restrictive nature of such teachings and their implications on self-worth and body image. It illustrates the broader issue of how strict cultural norms can stifle individuality and lead to internal struggles regarding personal choices.
The Pressure of Perfectionism
There is a shared acknowledgment of the intense societal pressure to conform to a perfect ideal within the church, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. The speaker reflects on their efforts to maintain a virtuous image throughout their faith journey, while simultaneously battling self-imposed expectations and societal norms. This discussion touches on the tendency to equate personal worth with adherence to religious standards, resulting in an ongoing cycle of guilt and striving for an unattainable ideal. It is a poignant reminder of how perfectionism is embedded within faith practices and the personal toll it can take on mental health.
Reevaluating Relationships
As the speaker progresses through their faith transition, they emphasize the importance of reevaluating personal relationships and the dynamic shifts within their marriage. They discuss the challenges of maintaining a relationship with a partner who views the church differently, advocating for understanding and acceptance amidst diverging beliefs. This reevaluation fosters a deeper empathy for each other’s experiences and creates space for honest conversations about personal values and desires. Ultimately, it becomes clear that navigating mixed-faith relationships necessitates ongoing dialogue and a willingness to embrace differences.
Embracing Change and Authenticity
Transitioning away from a strict faith system presents an opportunity to embrace change and authenticity in all aspects of life. The speaker reflects on how embracing their true self led to renewed passions and interests, including a return to music and creativity. This newfound authenticity enables deeper connections with others, fostering relationships based on genuine understanding rather than religious conformity. Such transformations illustrate the empowering nature of self-discovery, encouraging individuals to pursue their identity beyond the limits imposed by earlier beliefs.
Exploring New Perspectives
The podcast discusses how exposure to different viewpoints, particularly regarding spirituality and personal identity, can lead to significant personal growth. The speaker recounts their experience with shadow work and other therapeutic practices, which promote healing by allowing individuals to confront and integrate their multifaceted identities. As they learn to accept all aspects of themselves, including those once deemed unacceptable, they cultivate deeper emotional connections with others. This journey emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and self-acceptance in overcoming the fears and limitations often associated with deconstruction.
Community and Belonging After Deconstruction
A significant element of the discussion is the sense of community that emerges post-deconstruction, marking a shift from religious affiliation to authentic connections with others who share similar experiences. The speaker highlights the importance of finding new spaces for belonging where one can engage with like-minded individuals without judgment. While the transition may involve leaving behind past relationships that no longer serve them, it opens the door to a community that fosters acceptance and understanding. This supportive environment offers validation for struggles and encourages continued growth beyond religious boundaries.
Feeling Empowered Through Vulnerability
The podcast culminates in a powerful exploration of how vulnerability can lead to empowerment and resilience in the face of societal expectations and personal struggles. Through candid conversations and shared experiences, the speaker illustrates that embracing vulnerability allows for deeper connections with others and a more profound understanding of oneself. This shift in perspective transforms the way they navigate relationships, creating a nurturing space for growth and exploration. The speaker ultimately urges others to recognize the strength in vulnerability, asserting that it is a crucial component of genuine personal evolution.
Elisha Lee takes us on an emotional journey through her life from experiencing her parents' divorce as a child to facing intense shame and scrutiny as a teenager. She shares raw accounts of bishop interviews, religious scrupulosity, and the pressure to conform to church standards. As a young adult, Elisha threw herself into church devotion, only to later confront doubts that would unravel her faith. Her candid reflections on marriage, parenthood, and personal growth in the wake of leaving Mormonism offer valuable insights for anyone navigating religious transitions. This interview explores the complexities of deconstructing one's faith while finding new meaning and authentic relationships beyond the church.
