Flirting While Neurodivergent with @polymananswers
Dec 17, 2021
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Albert, a polyamorous neurodivergent person, and the host discuss flirting methods for neurodivergent individuals. They explore the difference between consent-based flirting and manipulative pick-up methods. They also discuss Albert's upbringing in a polygamous household, supporting neurodivergent partners, managing dopamine-chasing impulses with ADHD, and addressing the intersections of polyamory and race.
Being direct and honest in flirting as a neurodivergent person can lead to more meaningful and loving relationships.
Individuals with ADHD should manage new relationship energy (NRE) by slowing down, communicating boundaries, and distinguishing infatuation from genuine connection.
In the polyamorous community, negotiating expectations and balancing the desire for excitement with a commitment to building meaningful connections is crucial.
Deep dives
Navigating Flirting as Neurodivergent People
Flirting as a neurodivergent person can be a unique experience. It is important to be direct and honest about your intentions and feelings. Being genuine and showing a real interest in the other person can lead to more meaningful and loving relationships. Neurodivergent flirting may involve sharing your passions and allowing others to do the same. Building connections based on shared interests and open communication can create strong bonds.
Managing New Relationship Energy and Chasing Dopamine
For individuals with ADHD, managing new relationship energy (NRE) and the desire for constant excitement can be challenging. It is crucial to slow down and assess whether the connection is based on genuine feelings or the rush of heightened emotions. Taking the time to downshift and communicate boundaries can help prevent impulsivity and maintain healthier relationships. Setting realistic expectations and recognizing the difference between infatuation and meaningful connection is essential.
The Impact of Chasing Highs on Polyamorous Relationships
In the polyamorous community, the tendency to chase the honeymoon phase or constant highs can negatively impact relationships. This phenomenon is not exclusive to individuals with ADHD. It is crucial to negotiate expectations and communicate openly from the beginning. Balancing the desire for excitement with a commitment to building meaningful connections and maintaining long-term relationships is key.
Creating Conversation Starters and Hooks in Online Dating Profiles
The podcast episode discusses the importance of creating conversation starters and hooks in online dating profiles. The speaker emphasizes the need to go beyond just posting attractive photos and instead provide opportunities for meaningful interactions. This can be achieved by including photos that showcase hobbies or interests, such as playing guitar or traveling. By giving potential matches something specific to comment on or ask about, it becomes easier to initiate and sustain engaging conversations.
Navigating Flirting Moves and Opening Messages
The podcast episode explores various flirting moves and strategies used in online dating conversations. The speaker shares personal examples of memorable opening messages received on dating apps. These messages often include genuine compliments and demonstrate an understanding of the other person's interests or desires stated in their profile. The use of context-relevant humor and giving space for the other person to respond at their own pace are highlighted as effective approaches. The episode also touches on the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals and provides insight into their unique experiences and needs within online dating.
How do polyamorous, neurodivergent people flirt? Albert from @polymananswers and I discuss the difference between (and success rates of) consent-based, directly communicated flirting methods and those utilised by "pickup artists" in mainstream media (which are often built on a foundation of deception and manipulation). We also discuss:
- Albert's experiences growing up in a polygamous Hmong household with 2 mothers and a father
- How neurotypical people can support their neurodivergent partners from a trauma-informed perspective
- I read out some chats with my matches on my favourite dating app, Feeld!
- How to manage dopamine-chasing impulses with ADHD and managing the high of New Relationship Energy