Raising "Outdoor" Kids, and Overcoming Toxic Achievement Culture, with Steven Rinella and Jennifer Wallace | Ep. 618
Aug 30, 2023
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Megyn Kelly discusses parenting challenges with Steven Rinella and Jennifer Wallace. Rinella focuses on outdoor parenting, bear encounters, veganism, and supporting farmers. Wallace discusses toxic achievement culture, changes in parenting, societal pressures, mental health effects, and modeling balance for children.
To combat toxic achievement culture, a shift in focus is necessary to prioritize holistic development, mental well-being, and non-academic skills.
Parents should recognize the broader economic and social forces driving toxic achievement culture and understand the difficult circumstances they navigate to ensure their children's success.
The scarcity mentality driven by economic factors and societal pressures fuels the obsession with academic achievement, fostering intense competition and fear of missing out.
Parents should prioritize a balanced approach to education and personal development, reframing success to include personal growth, resilience, and compassion.
Deep dives
The Impact of Toxic Achievement Culture on Children's Mental Health
Toxic achievement culture is putting immense pressure on children to succeed in all aspects of life, leading to significant mental health issues. Parents, schools, and society at large are contributing to this culture by emphasizing achievement and success above all else. This toxic culture is affecting children across socioeconomic levels, not just in elite or privileged environments. Economic factors, such as rising costs of education and decreased opportunities for upward mobility, have added to the intense pressure faced by parents and subsequently passed on to their children. The scarcity mentality created by these factors further fuels the obsession with achievement and success. It's crucial for parents to step back, assess the bigger picture, and recognize that these pressures are driven by larger societal forces. A shift in focus towards holistic development, nurturing non-academic skills, and prioritizing mental well-being is needed to combat this toxic culture.
The Origins of Toxic Achievement Culture
Toxic achievement culture has emerged due to various factors, including the increasing cost of living and education, globalization, and overall uncertainty about the future. In past decades, life was generally more affordable, providing parents with a sense of security and confidence in their children's future prospects. However, the current economic reality has shattered this confidence. Parents now worry that their children might not achieve the same or better level of success compared to previous generations. These concerns stem from the shifting job market, advancements in technology, and increasing competition. As a result, parents become social conduits, passing their anxieties and fears onto their children in an attempt to prepare them for an uncertain and competitive future. It's important to recognize these broader economic and social forces and understand that parents are navigating difficult circumstances in their quest to ensure a successful future for their children.
The Scarcity Mentality and Academic Achievement
The scarcity mentality, driven by economic factors and intensified by societal pressures, fuels the obsession with academic achievement. Many parents believe that their children must excel academically to secure spots in reputable colleges and universities. The limited availability and fierce competition for college admissions further exacerbate the scarcity mentality. As a result, parents and students engage in relentless pursuit of high grades, rigorous coursework, extracurricular activities, and impressive resumes. The fear of missing out on opportunities or falling behind drives this intense focus on academic success. However, it's crucial to challenge and redefine the notion of achievement to encompass a more holistic and balanced approach to education and personal development.
Shifting the Focus and Combating Toxic Achievement Culture
To combat toxic achievement culture, a shift in focus is necessary. Parents should prioritize their children's holistic development, including their mental well-being, non-academic skills, and emotional intelligence. It's important to recognize that success and happiness in life are not solely determined by academic or extracurricular achievements. Parents can actively support their children by promoting balance, fostering a healthy mindset, and encouraging self-care. Schools and communities should also play a role in redefining achievement, emphasizing personal growth, resilience, and compassion rather than solely focusing on grades and accolades. By reframing success and supporting a more balanced approach to education and personal development, we can create a healthier and more positive environment for our children.
The Pressure of College Admissions on Children
The podcast episode discusses the anxiety and stress parents face when it comes to their children's college admissions. The speaker emphasizes that the chances of getting into top-tier schools like Harvard or Princeton are slim and that parents should accept this reality to avoid putting unnecessary pressure on their children. The episode highlights the importance of building a supportive and loving family environment, where children are valued for their whole selves, not just their grades. It also emphasizes the significance of knowing and nurturing one's strengths and focusing on a well-rounded, fulfilling life rather than solely chasing prestigious college admissions.
The Impact of Achievement Pressure on Mental Health
The episode discusses the detrimental impact of achievement pressure on teenagers' mental health. It highlights research showing that high-achieving schools can be risk factors for anxiety, depression, and substance abuse disorders. The speaker argues that parents should prioritize their children's well-being over their academic success, fostering resilience and providing emotional support. The episode also emphasizes the importance of creating a balance between achievement and connection, encouraging parents to spend intentional time with their children, listen to their concerns, and remind them of their worth beyond grades and accomplishments.
Focusing on Fit and Connection over College Rankings
The episode challenges the obsession with college rankings and highlights research showing that the name or rank of the college does not significantly impact life outcomes. Instead, the episode suggests focusing on finding the right fit for the child in terms of educational environment and fostering a sense of connection and belonging on campus. The speaker emphasizes the importance of meaningful experiences, supportive relationships with mentors, and a strong sense of self as key elements that contribute to long-term success and well-being. The episode concludes by encouraging parents to prioritize their own well-being and relationships to better support their children's resilience and happiness.
Today's show is a deep dive on the challenges of parenting in our society today. First, Megyn Kelly is joined by Steven Rinella, author of "Catch a Crayfish, Count the Stars," to discuss the value of spending time with family outside, the importance of getting away from technology, the changes in how kids were raised in the 70s vs. today, ways to approach a bear encounter and what to do in a (very rare) bear attack, the decline in veganism but meat eaters getting targeted over climate change, supporting farmers and ranchers, reports the Biden administration has stopped funding hunting programs at schools, and more. Then Jennifer Wallace, author of "Never Enough," joins to discuss the difference in pressures kids face when it comes to achievement in school, how the way kids are raised has changed throughout the past few decades, where society pressure comes from today for kids and parents, how to overcome toxic achievement culture, mistakes many parents often make, connection over achievement, mental health effects of putting pressure on our kids, the need for parents to model balance for their children, and more.
