Emotions Fully Alive: Forming Boys' Affectivity Part II

In Brief:

• Training in virtue requires attention not only to intellect and will, but to emotions as well. Complete virtue requires not only a knowledge of, and decision towards the good, but also the desire for that good. How do we instill in our boys this desire for the good?

• Example: The way we speak to, and speak about, others, is a key element of our children's emotional formation. We must showcase, for our sons, what it means to be a good man. In this context, we must showcase proper management of our emotions.

• Service: Providing your children with opportunities to serve will then elicit positive emotional responses towards the people they serve. These opportunities should be both internal and external to the house.

• Communication: Find ways to communicate to your boys that emotions must be directed, guided, and shaped. This is a countercultural message in an era of "you do you." Don't be overly didactic, but be ready to explore the proper role of emotions in conversations about culture, movies, art, and even ourselves. In this way we put the finishing touches on our boys' moral imaginations.

• Discipline: Our children will fail in this battle early and often. The art of teaching and parenting requires discipline, but we have to carefully consider our corrections. Consider how and when a boy will be most receptive to corrections.

Ultimately, virtue is not about pummeling our feelings into submission, but rather, orienting towards the good. As parents and teachers, the most effective ways to do this are by giving good example, communicating and naming them, and correcting at the right and for the reasons.