The Nonlinear Library LW - Pay-on-results personal growth: first success by Chipmonk
Sep 15, 2024
06:45
Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: Pay-on-results personal growth: first success, published by Chipmonk on September 15, 2024 on LessWrong.
Thanks to Kaj Sotala, Stag Lynn, and Ulisse Mini for reviewing. Thanks to Kaj Sotala, Brian Toomey, Alex Zhu, Damon Sasi, Anna Salamon, and CFAR for mentorship and financial support
A few months ago I made
the claim "Radically effective and rapid growth [motivationally / emotionally / socially] is possible with the right combination of facilitator and method". Eg: for anxiety, agency, insecurity, need for validation.
To test my hypothesis, I began a pay-on-results coaching experiment: When clients achieve their goal and are confident it will last (at least one month), they pay a bounty.
My first client
Bob (pseudonymous) and I met at Manifest 2024, where I had set up a table at the night market for hunting "emotional security" bounties.
Bob had lifelong anxiety, and it was crushing his agency and relationships. He offered a $3,000 bounty for resolving it, and I decided to pursue it.
We spoke and tried my method.
It was only necessary for us to talk once, apparently, because a month later he said our one conversation helped him achieve what 8 years of talk therapy could not:
I'm choosing to work on problems beyond my capabilities, and get excited about situations where my weaknesses are repeatedly on display.
I actually feel excited about entering social situations where chances of things going worse than I would want them to were high.
So he paid his bounty when he was ready (in this case, 35 days after the session).
I've been checking in with him since (latest: last week, two months after the session) and he tells me all is well.
Bob also shared some additional benefits beyond his original bounty:
Planning to make dancing a weekly part of my life now.
(All shared with permission.)
I'm also hunting many other bounties
A woman working in SF after 3 sessions, text support, and three weeks:
I went to Chris with a torrent of responsibilities and a key decision looming ahead of me this month. I felt overwhelmed, upset, and I didn't want just talk
Having engaged in 9+ years of coaching and therapy with varying levels of success, I'm probably one of the toughest clients - equal parts hopeful and skeptical. Chris created an incredibly open space where I could easily tell him if I didn't know something, or couldn't feel something, or if I'm overthinking. He also has an uncanny sense of intuition on these things and a strong attunement to being actually effective
The results are already telling: a disappointment that might've made me emotionally bleed and mope for a month was something I addressed in the matter of a couple of days with only a scoop of emotional self-doubt instead of *swimming* in self-torture. The lag time of actually doing things to be there for myself was significantly quicker, warmer, and more effective
To-dos that felt very heavy lightened up considerably and began to feel fun again and as ways of connecting!
I've now started to predict happier things ahead with more vivid, emotionally engaged, and realistic detail. I'll continue being intensely focused this year for the outcomes I want, but I'm actually looking forward to it! Will reflect back on Month 2!
An SF founder in his 30s after 1 session and two weeks:
After working with Chris, I learned One Weird Trick to go after what I really want and feel okay no matter what happens.
This is a new skill I didn't learn in 3 years of IFS therapy.
I already feel more confident being myself and expressing romantic interest (and I already have twice, that's new).
(
More…)
What the fuck?
"Why does your thing work so unusually well?" asks my mentor
Kaj.
For one, it doesn't work for everyone with every issue, as you can see in the screenshot above. (That said, I suspect a lot of this is my fault for pursuing bounti...
Thanks to Kaj Sotala, Stag Lynn, and Ulisse Mini for reviewing. Thanks to Kaj Sotala, Brian Toomey, Alex Zhu, Damon Sasi, Anna Salamon, and CFAR for mentorship and financial support
A few months ago I made
the claim "Radically effective and rapid growth [motivationally / emotionally / socially] is possible with the right combination of facilitator and method". Eg: for anxiety, agency, insecurity, need for validation.
To test my hypothesis, I began a pay-on-results coaching experiment: When clients achieve their goal and are confident it will last (at least one month), they pay a bounty.
My first client
Bob (pseudonymous) and I met at Manifest 2024, where I had set up a table at the night market for hunting "emotional security" bounties.
Bob had lifelong anxiety, and it was crushing his agency and relationships. He offered a $3,000 bounty for resolving it, and I decided to pursue it.
We spoke and tried my method.
It was only necessary for us to talk once, apparently, because a month later he said our one conversation helped him achieve what 8 years of talk therapy could not:
I'm choosing to work on problems beyond my capabilities, and get excited about situations where my weaknesses are repeatedly on display.
I actually feel excited about entering social situations where chances of things going worse than I would want them to were high.
So he paid his bounty when he was ready (in this case, 35 days after the session).
I've been checking in with him since (latest: last week, two months after the session) and he tells me all is well.
Bob also shared some additional benefits beyond his original bounty:
Planning to make dancing a weekly part of my life now.
(All shared with permission.)
I'm also hunting many other bounties
A woman working in SF after 3 sessions, text support, and three weeks:
I went to Chris with a torrent of responsibilities and a key decision looming ahead of me this month. I felt overwhelmed, upset, and I didn't want just talk
Having engaged in 9+ years of coaching and therapy with varying levels of success, I'm probably one of the toughest clients - equal parts hopeful and skeptical. Chris created an incredibly open space where I could easily tell him if I didn't know something, or couldn't feel something, or if I'm overthinking. He also has an uncanny sense of intuition on these things and a strong attunement to being actually effective
The results are already telling: a disappointment that might've made me emotionally bleed and mope for a month was something I addressed in the matter of a couple of days with only a scoop of emotional self-doubt instead of *swimming* in self-torture. The lag time of actually doing things to be there for myself was significantly quicker, warmer, and more effective
To-dos that felt very heavy lightened up considerably and began to feel fun again and as ways of connecting!
I've now started to predict happier things ahead with more vivid, emotionally engaged, and realistic detail. I'll continue being intensely focused this year for the outcomes I want, but I'm actually looking forward to it! Will reflect back on Month 2!
An SF founder in his 30s after 1 session and two weeks:
After working with Chris, I learned One Weird Trick to go after what I really want and feel okay no matter what happens.
This is a new skill I didn't learn in 3 years of IFS therapy.
I already feel more confident being myself and expressing romantic interest (and I already have twice, that's new).
(
More…)
What the fuck?
"Why does your thing work so unusually well?" asks my mentor
Kaj.
For one, it doesn't work for everyone with every issue, as you can see in the screenshot above. (That said, I suspect a lot of this is my fault for pursuing bounti...