What Your Dad Didn't Teach You #28 - Unmasking Porn Addiction: Shame, Sex & the Lover Archetype
Jun 15, 2025
This discussion dives deep into the quiet shame surrounding pornography addiction. Nate shares his journey from a NASA engineer to a recovery coach, exploring how early exposure shapes addiction. He highlights the impact of personal trauma and the limits of traditional therapy. The conversation emphasizes the importance of dating skills and emotional regulation in recovery. Jungian archetypes are used to assess masculine development, while practical exercises are shared to combat overthinking and build presence. Community and purpose emerge as keys to overcoming shame and finding healing.
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Hidden Trauma Sparked His Double Life
- Nate grew up conservative, was sexually abused at seven, and hid it, which started a double life that fed his later porn addiction.
- He first saw porn at age ten and then white-knuckled attempts to stop until age 21 when he found a recovery path.
Early Mobile Internet Shifted First Exposure
- High-speed mobile internet pushed average first exposure to porn down to about 10–12 years old.
- Most men who develop problems discovered pornography before age 14, making early exposure a defining factor.
Parents: Be Proactive About Kids' Sexuality
- Parents must proactively talk to kids about sexuality and monitor internet use to prevent long-term problems.
- If a child hasn't confided in you for months, take initiative and ask what they’re going through.
