Curated Questions: Conversations Celebrating the Power of Questions! Flashlights, Lanterns, and the Way We Listen! | Haru Yamada #62
"Not being a hundred percent sure all the time is a weird strength." - Haru Yamada
In this episode of Curated Questions, Ken Woodward is in conversation with Dr. Haru Yamada, a sociolinguist, intercultural communication scholar, and author of Kiku: The Japanese Art of Good Listening, to explore what it really means to listen. Haru traces her early understanding of questions back to age four, when she moved from Tokyo to New York and had to use questions as a tool for language, belonging, and survival.
Together, they unpack how culture shapes communication: English often rewards “flashlight” questioning, the precise, content-driven clarity, while Japanese culture tends to favor a “lantern” approach that illuminates context, relationship, and what isn’t said. Haru also shares the harrowing accident that reshaped her understanding of listening as a health practice, linking felt-heard experiences to relational, mental, and even physical well-being.
In a noisy, multitasking world, this conversation reframes listening as an active, life-giving skill, and a compass for navigating each other with empathy.
This Curated Questions episode can be found on all major platforms and at CuratedQuestions.com.
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Episode Notes
00:00 Introduction: Embracing Uncertainty
01:57 Introducing Dr. Haru Yamada
02:23 The Art of Listening: Kiku
03:12 A Life-Altering Accident
03:37 Welcoming Dr. Yamada
04:02 Early Experiences with Questions
04:57 Navigating Cultural Differences
07:28 The Journey of a Third Culture Kid
08:19 Academic Pursuits in Linguistics
10:32 The Strength in Uncertainty
16:04 Questioning Anti-Fragility As A Goal
23:02 Flashlight vs. Lantern: Different Approaches to Questions
26:57 Cultural Context in Business Meetings
28:16 Interpersonal Communication Challenges
32:12 The Importance of Listening
39:51 Personal Anecdotes and Reflections
44:11 The Healing Power of Being Heard
47:42 Reflecting on Past Medical Experiences
48:16 The Evolution of Listening Post-COVID
49:41 Remote Work and Multitasking
52:24 The Impact of Isolation on Communication
54:02 Curated Interactions in the Digital Age
55:34 The Shift in Media Consumption
57:48 The Importance of Visual and Auditory Listening
59:04 Personal Experiences with Hearing Loss
01:00:58 Advancements in Hearing Aid Technology
01:03:20 The Value of Ambiguous Questions
01:04:23 The Fear of Uncertainty in Listening
01:05:05 The Role of Multitasking in Communication
01:07:24 Learning from Students' Unique Needs
01:11:29 The Changing Nature of Academic Inquiry
01:19:23 Better Understanding The Lantern View
01:22:35 Cultural Differences in Language Learning
01:24:52 The Complexity of Bilingualism
01:26:48 The Challenges of Cross-Cultural Communication
01:31:07 Final Reflections and Takeaways
Resources Mentioned
KIKU: The Japanese Art of Good Listening by Dr. Haru Yamada
Lynn Borton at Choose To Be Curious
Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
The Power of Introverts TED Talk by Susan Cain
Stanford Interpersonal Dynamics Class
Dr. Haru Yamada on LinkedIn