The Dad Was Right There... But Didn't See: Lessons from Netflix's 'Adolescence' (Part 4/4)

May 23, 2025

What if obedience isn’t the same as respect? This discussion explores the tragic disconnect between a father and his son, revealing how emotional distance can lead to silent struggles. It emphasizes the importance of creating deeper connections and understanding children's feelings. The CARE method offers practical strategies for fostering emotional safety and trust. Don't settle for surface-level questions—discover how to engage with your kids more meaningfully and help them feel truly seen.

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INSIGHT

Connection Is Key to Influence

Without emotional connection, dads have no influence on their kids.
Discipline without connection is often ineffective and perceived as punishment.

INSIGHT

Invisible Pain Behind Silent Walls

Jamie's father, Eddie, lacks emotional connection despite living under the same roof.
This lack of connection blinds him to Jamie's silent pain and bullying.

ANECDOTE

Dad’s Breaking Point Illustrated

Eddie's work van is vandalized and spray painted with a nasty word, pushing him to his limit.
His reaction shows his intense frustration as his family and business crumble.

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What If Obedience Isn’t the Same as Respect?

We all want to raise good kids — respectful, obedient, and successful.

But what if obedience is just compliance… no connection?

In this episode, I dive deep into the final chapter of Netflix’s Adolescence, and the heartbreaking unraveling of Jamie Miller, a 13-year-old boy whose silent pain led to tragedy.

His father, Eddie, never saw it coming. Why? Because the connection was missing, even though he thought he was doing everything “right.”

I open up about how even committed, hardworking dads like us can miss the quiet red flags our kids are waving. We explore how our need to discipline, protect, and “fix” can sometimes get in the way of the one thing our kids need most: to feel seen and safe.

This episode isn’t about shame. It’s about waking up.

Because your influence as a dad doesn’t come from authority—it comes from emotional safety.

If you’ve ever believed “my kid is doing fine,” this might be the most eye-opening 20 minutes you’ll spend all year.

I’ll also give you a practical framework to help you ask better questions, create deeper emotional connections, and build a relationship your kids will trust—especially when things get tough.

Become the best husband and leader you can: www.thedadedge.com/mastermind

In this episode, I share:

Why “How was your day?” might be the weakest way to check in
The 3 fatherhood defaults that kill connection: Distance, Disapproval, and Discipline
How to use the CARE method (Curiosity, Affirmation, Repair, Expectation) to reconnect with your child
Why our kids confuse disconnection with disinterest—and how to fix it
The real reason obedience without emotional connection doesn’t build trust

Here's what research supports about the power of action and intention:

Studies show that couples who engage in regular, small acts of kindness report a 28% increase in relationship satisfaction.
Research indicates that setting specific, shared goals increases the likelihood of improved communication and intimacy by 35%.
Prioritizing quality time has been shown to reduce feelings of loneliness in relationships by 20%.

If you're ready to stop waiting for motivation and start actively building a stronger, more connected marriage, this episode is for you. Let's take that first step together.