Setting a Boundary vs. Trying to Control Someone

Jan 30, 2025

Discover the vital difference between setting personal boundaries and trying to control others. Real-life scenarios illustrate how to assert boundaries without being aggressive. Learn about empowering personal growth through mental health skills and the importance of acceptance and courage. Resources for improving emotional well-being and relationships are also introduced, making it clear that boundaries are essential for healthy interactions.

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Understanding Boundaries vs. Control in Conflict

00:00 • 12min

Empowering Personal Growth Through Mental Health Skills

12:27 • 5min

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Learning how to set boundaries is an important part of mental health and relationships. One of the biggest problems I see people have when they’re learning to set boundaries is learning the difference between setting a boundary and trying to control someone. And I found this ridiculous video that shows some great examples of the difference. Now this video is a little intense, and i’m not saying that either of these guys are setting a good example of how to set boundaries, but when you analyze it you can clearly see the difference between a power struggle and a boundary.

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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

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