Today on Modern Relationships Erik Torenberg talks to Ann Pierce, a former startup founder who became obsessed with the mission of solving interpersonal conflict. Ann unpacks why conflict isn't inherently negative but actually builds trust when handled correctly. She covers why invalidation is the most common threat most of us encounter, how we misunderstand each other through projection, and how to break the cycles of conflict.

Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co

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LINKS:

Ann Pierce Website: https://www.annpierce.com/

Ann Pierce - Understanding Interpersonal Conflict: https://substack.com/home/post/p-153042013?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Love Symposium: https://symposium.love/

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FOLLOW ON X:

Ann - @itsannpierce

Erik - @eriktorenberg

Turpentine - @turpentinemedia

Chapters

00:00:00 Intro and Preview
00:01:56 Ann's Background and Research Journey
00:04:01 The Compatibility Question
00:06:00 Understanding Healthy Conflict
00:08:00 Personality Typologies and Wounds
00:12:27 Sponsor: Relationship Hero
00:14:04 The Nature of Threat Sensitivity
00:17:07 Breaking Conflict Cycles
00:20:16 Moving Beyond Binary Thinking
00:23:02 How Emotions Function
00:28:33 Emotional Regulation Tools
00:33:44 Misinterpreting Each Other
00:39:22 Language and Misunderstandings
00:44:35 Overcoming Threat Sensitivity
00:54:31 Building Self-Worth and Self-Esteem
00:55:21 Critiques of Couples Therapy
00:59:24 Practical Steps for Self-Improvement
01:01:29 Training and Practice for Better Relationships
01:04:36 The Love Symposium and Future Work
01:05:24 Wrap

146. Stereotype Threat 101: How Antiracists Unintentionally Amplify The Impacts of Racism