Why Friendships Matter More Than We Think

21 snips

Feb 27, 2025

Dr. Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and professor, and Dr. Lauren Brent, an evolutionary biologist, dive into the surprising power of friendships. They discuss how platonic relationships significantly boost our health and happiness, often surpassing even diet and exercise. The conversation highlights the rise of loneliness in today's society and offers practical tips on nurturing connections. Fascinating insights from rhesus macaques illustrate the evolutionary roots of friendship, proving its vital role in both human and animal well-being.

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ANECDOTE

Wellness Group

Dacher Keltner prioritized romantic love over friendships in her 20s, especially after a breakup.
She formed a wellness group with friends, realizing the importance of platonic love.

INSIGHT

Romance vs. Friendship

Cultural emphasis on romantic love can trivialize friendships, hindering effort and conflict resolution.
This is detrimental as friendships are crucial for romantic relationship success and overall well-being.

INSIGHT

Loneliness: A Systemic Issue

Loneliness is a systemic, not individual, issue, exacerbated by smartphones and reduced social interaction.
Overcoming loneliness requires acknowledging this and actively seeking connection.

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In a world that emphasizes romantic relationships, we explore the science of friendships in humans and our primate relatives—how we make them and how they not only influence health and happiness, but our survival.

Episode Summary: Romantic love gets plenty of attention, but what about the friendships that sustain us through life’s ups and downs? In this episode, we explore the science and significance of deep friendships, how they contribute to our mental and emotional health, and why they deserve just as much care as romantic relationships. We also discuss practical ways to strengthen friendships and rethink how we define meaningful connections.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

This is part of our series The Science of Love, supported by The John Templeton Foundation.

Sign up for The Science of Happiness podcast's 7-Day Love Challenge to receive these science-backed practices delivered directly to your inbox: tinyurl.com/7daylovechallenge

Today’s Guests:

DR. MARISA G FRANCO is a psychologist and professor at The University of Maryland and author of the book “Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep – Friends.”

Learn more about Dr. Marisa G Franco here: https://drmarisagfranco.com/

Follow Marisa on Instagram: @drmarisagfranco

DR. LAUREN BRENT is an evolutionary biologist and professor at the University of Exeter. She studies the ecological and evolutionary basis of social relationships and networks.

Learn more about Lauren Brent here: http://www.laurenbrent.com/

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

36 Questions to Spark Love and Connection: https://tinyurl.com/ktcpz78u
How 7 Days Can Transform Your Relationship: https://tinyurl.com/bdh2ezhr
Why We Need Friends With Shared Interests: https://tinyurl.com/bp8msacj

Related Happiness Breaks:

A Meditation on Love and Interconnectedness: https://tinyurl.com/ye6baxv3
A Guided Meditation on Embodied Love: https://tinyurl.com/3dmpfam6
Visualizing Your Best Self in Relationships: https://tinyurl.com/4797z2vf

Tell us about your experience building lasting friendships. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/y99tc9nm