Why Did We Evolve to Feel Romantic Love? with Dr. Helen Fisher

Feb 13, 2025

Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and Chief Science Advisor to Match.com, dives deep into the neurological roots of romantic love. She discusses how love transforms our perception and influences behavior, shedding light on emotions tied to breakups and attachment. The conversation explores the effects of technology on modern dating, revealing how online connections may enhance relationship stability. Fisher's research also unveils the evolutionary purpose of love and its complex impact on human behavior.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

Evolutionary Purpose of Love

The main evolutionary purpose of romantic love is procreation.
It motivates individuals to form partnerships, ensuring their DNA's survival.

INSIGHT

Brain Systems vs. Phases

Romantic love, sex drive, and attachment are distinct brain systems, not sequential phases.
They can occur independently and in different orders.

ANECDOTE

Friends with Benefits to Marriage

Helen Fisher recounts a personal story about her husband.
He initially wanted a friends-with-benefits arrangement, but their relationship evolved into marriage.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

We long for love. We die for love. We kill for love. But why do we love? Cohosts Dr. Heather Berlin and Dr. Christoph Koch ask this question to Helen Fisher, PhD. who dedicated her career to researching romantic love. In this episode of Science of Perception Box, we explore how the act of being in love or out of love changes how we view ourselves and the world around us.

Dr. Fisher was a biological anthropologist, Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute, and Chief Science Advisor to Match.com. She used brain scanning (fMRI) to study the neural systems associated with the sex drive, romantic love, attachment, rejection, love addiction, long-term partnership happiness, and the biological foundations of human personality. She conducted extensive research on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery, and divorce.

Dr. Heather Berlin is a neuroscientist, clinical psychologist, and Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City.

Dr. Christof Koch is Chief Scientist for the Tiny Blue Dot Foundation and the current Meritorious Investigator and former President of the Allen Institute for Brain Science.

Join us for new episodes every Thursday. Follow the show on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever podcasts are found.

Love the show? Write us a review on your podcast app, or tell a friend about the show.

Visit unlikelycollaborators.com for more information.

Episode Chapters:

(00:00) - Introduction to the Science of Perception Box

(02:03) - Exploring Love and Heartbreak

(05:16) - The Brain Chemistry of Love

(06:41) - The Evolutionary Purpose of Love

(09:35) - The Complexities of Romantic Relationships

(20:53) - The Impact of Rejection and Heartbreak

(24:10) - The Distraction Test and Emotional Response

(25:15) - Love as an Addiction

(27:31) - Phases of Breakup and Emotional Recovery

(31:21) - The Concept of Slow Love

(33:05) - Impact of Internet on Modern Dating

(38:58) - Perception Box Questions

(44:57) - Final Reflections and Closing Thoughts