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How to Be Like Captain Jack Sparrow
- Be a dirty rascal.
- If something seems difficult, claim it was turtles.
The Freest Man
- Justin McElroy tells a story about a man dressed as Jack Sparrow at a murder mystery.
- The man declared that the costume wasn't a costume, but his true self.
Convincing Parents to Let You Wear a Thong
- Appeal to your parents' logic and emotions.
- Show responsibility and offer to pay for the thong.