A Very Patented Christmas: The Quirkiest Inventions for the Holiday Season

Get into the holiday spirit with a look at some of the most unique Christmas patents ever filed. From Santa detectors to upside-down Christmas trees, Scott Hervey and Jamie Lincenberg explore festive inventions that add a little extra cheer to the season on this episode of The Briefing.

Watch this episode on the Weintraub YouTube channel.

 

Show Notes:

Scott:
Welcome to a special holiday edition of The Briefing. Today, we are decking the Halls with a look at some of the most unique Christmas-related patents ever filed, at least in my opinion. That’s right, the spirit of invention doesn’t take a break during the holiday season. I’m Scott Hervey, a partner with the law firm of Weintraub Tobin, and I’m joined today by my colleague, Jamie Lincenberg. We are going to examine these festive follies of intellectual property. So grab your eggnog, snuggle up, and let’s dive into five truly unique Christmas-themed patents on today’s installment of The Briefing.

Jamie, welcome back. Are you ready for this? Do you have your Santa hat nearby?

Jamie:
I’ll grab it in a minute, but you have to put yours on, too. Okay.

Scott:
Well, I don’t happen to have one nearby, unfortunately. That was really a mistake in prepping for this episode. I really should have brought my Santa hat. Oh, well. Okay. First, let’s just point out, neither of us are patent lawyers. This is really more for humor than anything else. Second, I want to point out in doing my research for this episode, there are a lot of Christmas patents out there.

Jamie:
Well, that makes sense. Scott, Christmas is a big business.

Scott:
It is. It This is a big business. All right, so kicking things off, let’s talk about the Santa detector. Every kid wants to try to spot Santa, and this device purports to give kids an edge on the elusive elf. This patent, filed in 1996, is for a device designed to detect Santa Claus entering your home. I mean, isn’t that what the ring camera and ADT is all about, too? This patent application says, In the minds of young children, Santa Claus’s arrival is denoted by the presence of Christmas presents under the tree and/or Christmas stockings filled with treats or cold, depending upon whether you’re good or bad. That was not in the patent application. That was my ad lib. The patent continues on. However, none of these customary practices nor any prior art arrangements known to the applicant provides a Christmas stocking that is capable of being selectively illuminated to signal the arrival of Santa Claus. This ingenious gadget uses motion detectors, sound sensors, and even a Christmas tree light to trigger to alert an eager kids when the big man makes himself available. It’s like a ring, doorbell for Santa, only much less practical.

Jamie:
Imagine the chaos if it went off every time Uncle Bob wandered into the living room for another round of Christmas cheer.

Scott:
Oh, yes, I’m sure everybody has an Uncle Bob. Unfortunately, though, Jamie, it seems that kids will have to use a less high-tech mechanism for spying on Santa. This patent expired in 2014 due to failure to pay maintenance fees.

Jamie:
Well, maybe the inventor was on the naughty list.

Scott:
Oh, maybe he was.

Jamie:
This next one seems very practical. For people that If you don’t live in California and Arizona, where it tends to be in the mid ’70s all December long, this patent application is for a Christmas tree watering system, which aims to solve the age-old problem of crawling under your tree to add water. It’s a simple setup, a water reservoir in the shape of Santa with a water hose that extends from it to another hidden reservoir under the tree. Functional? Sure. Festive? Absolutely. Creepy? 100%. No one wants to see a water hose extending from Santa’s rear end that doubles as a tripping hazard at 2 AM after the office holiday party.

Scott:
That’s right. I love that. The picture that’s in the patent application here. They’ll put it up on screen. It’s hilarious. Okay. Now, this patent probably ended up being big business for the inventor and probably also a ton of business for the lawyer employers, tasked with patent enforcement. Now, on the non-legal side, it also brings some serious holiday cheer to your daily commute. It’s the Antler Vehicle Ornament. This 2014 design patent protects a festive adornment for your car, a set of Reindear antlers to transform your vehicle into comet on wheels. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t this just another way to embarrass my car? Well, hold on. This patent adds flair to the functional. With sturdy clips for the antlers, it ensures your car can spread holiday joy while cruising down the highway without losing its festive accessories.

Jamie:
Let’s face it: who wouldn’t smile at a minivan decked out as one of Santa’s reindeer? Unless, of course, it’s cutting you off in traffic. In that case, you probably wouldn’t be so jolly.

Scott:
That’s right. This invention turns the most mundane aspect of your life, your daily commute, into a holiday spectacle. Even more of a spectacle if one of those antlers goes flying off on the 405. Children, avert your eyes from the run-over antlers on the side of the road.

Jamie:
All right, next up on our list of holiday innovations, the invertible, artificial Christmas tree. That’s right. Someone out there thought, what if we turned Christmas Christmas upside down, literally. This genius or possibly diabolical idea flips the traditional tree on its head, creating a design that’s narrower at the bottom and wider at the top. Now, picture a tree that defies gravity or perhaps just confuses everyone at your holiday party.

Scott:
All right, so what is the point of this topsy-turvy Tanenbaum?

Jamie:
It’s meant to save space and make stories. Garage easier. However, might it be more fun to actually decorate this tree upside down? After all, with the wide end at the top, you’ve got more room for presents underneath. Or, depending on how you look at it, you’ve created a holiday vortex where gifts might get sucked into the void.

Scott:
It actually might make people think they’ve consumed a little too much holiday cheer at a holiday party, as well as seeing an upside-down Christmas tree. All right, so practicality aside, it certainly would be a conversation starter. Imagine the debates this tree could spark. Is it a symbol of holiday innovation or just a sign that we’ve gone too far with Christmas decor? If you’re looking to turn tradition on its head and have a sense of humor about your holiday decor, this might just be the tree for you.

Jamie:
It’s perfect for those who may have been on the naughtyy list. What better way to say, I’ll celebrate Christmas, but I will do it my way?

Scott:
All right, last Last up. Let’s dive into a holiday invention that brings a whole new level of accountability to your Christmas celebrations, the Naughty or Nice Meter. This patent application proposes a device that can scientifically determine whether someone has been naughty or nice. Because why rely on Santa’s mysterious list when you can quantify morality with a machine? Here’s how it works, or it’s supposed to work. The meter includes sensors to measure biometric data like heart rate or skin conductivity, combined with algorithms to assess behavioral inputs. The result? A definitive score labeling you as either naughty or nice. It’s basically a lie detector that meets Santa’s workshop.

Jamie:
Imagine the chaos that this could cause at holiday office parties. Want to raise? Let’s attach you to the meter.

Scott:
I could see that. However, I think for our industry, I think there might be a direct correlation between a high or naughty reading and a bigger bonus. Of course, I’m kidding, lawyers. Save your emails. Don’t take offense.

Jamie:
The patent also mentions a version for kid. Now, that is a parenting game changer. Forget empty threats of Santa’s watching. Now, you’ve got a blinking gadget that will call them out in real-time. It is fun and it’s festive until your child spends the rest of December trying to hack the system.

Scott:
But let’s not ignore the potential for holiday drama. Who decides the criteria for naughty versus nice? Is skipping the gym naughty? Not necessarily. Is saving the last cookie for yourself a nice act of self-care? Absolutely. These are philosophical questions I think that no gadget can answer.

Jamie:
Still, you’ve got to hand it to the inventors. They have found a to mix holiday magic with a bit of tech-savvy mischief. Whether it’s a hit or a hilarious flop, the Naughty or Nice meter is sure to add some high-stakes fun to your Christmas traditions.

Scott:
I really like it, though, as a parenting tool for the month of December. I really think it’s a way to bring kids in line for December. You’ve got to add that with the elf on the shelf, right? And you’ve got it locked down. You’ve got the kids locked down.

Jamie:
Perfect combo.

Scott:
Yeah. There’s There you have it. Five festive patents that prove inventors don’t take the holiday off; whether it’s catching Santa, watering your tree from Santa’s bum, dressing up your car, or using a behavior compliance machine, these patents add a dash of humor to the holiday season.

Jamie:
While most of these inventions may never end up under your tree, they remind us that creativity knows no bounds, even during Christmas.

Scott:
Jamie, happy holidays.

Jamie:
Thanks. You too, Scott.

Scott:
Well, that’s all for today’s holiday-themed episode of The Briefing. Thanks to Jamie for joining me on this Mary Jaunt through some funny holiday patents. Thank you, the listener or viewer, for tuning in. We hope you found this episode informative and enjoyable. If you did, please remember to subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with your friends and colleagues. And if you have any questions about the topics we covered today, please leave us a comment.