EFR 636: It's Not Me, It's You - Break the Blame Cycle, Relationship Better, and Untangle Common Barriers with Your Partner with John Kim and Vanessa Bennett

What would happen if you approached both your relationships with yourself and your partner through a lens of curiosity instead of judgment and resentment? 

Chances are you’d experience more love, comfort, and happiness.

In this episode, John Kim and Vanessa Bennett share their best insights on cultivating a quality relationship with yourself and your partner, the hard work it takes to “relationship better”, and tips and tactics for overcoming the barriers to having a healthy relationship. Most importantly, John and Vanessa talk about the power of approaching relationships through a lens of curiosity instead of judgment. 

John and Vanessa, two psychologists, therapists, and life partners are the authors of the new book, “It’s Not Me, It’s You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better”. In its pages, as well as in this episode, the pair analyzes their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.

 

Follow John @theangrytherapist

Follow Vanessa @vanessabennett

Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning

Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning

 

Key Highlights

• John and Vanessa talk about how to constructively call your partner out. The trick? Trying to understand before trying to be understood.
• You’ll learn how to open up in a relationship and build trusting communication with your partner instead of sweeping issues and conflicts under the rug.
• You don’t know everything about your partner, which is exciting! John and Vanessa break down why it’s important to get out of judgment and get into curiosity and how to go about doing that in your partnership.
• Fire needs air, meaning if you want passion, you need desire, space, and an understanding of and connection with the self. If you do things for yourself that excite you, you’ll be more able to be excited by your partner.
• Is it okay to fantasize about and be attracted to other people when you’re in a relationship? Tune in to hear John and Vanessa’s answers!

Episode resources:

• Unlock your brain in minutes with Ketone-IQ and save 15% with code CHASE at https://hvmn.me/CHASE 
• Save up to 80% on 100% grass-fed beef sticks at https://paleovalley.com/offers/grass-fed-beef-sticks-sample-pack?&oid=21&affid=980
• Watch this on YouTube 
• Get their book on Audible with your free trial at https://www.AudibleTrial.com/everforward 
• Buy their book, It’s Not Me, It’s You