101: Turn His Avoidance Into Obsession: Make Him Chase You & Bond for Good with Adam Lane Smith
Feb 23, 2025
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Adam Lane Smith, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in attachment theory, dives deep into the complexities of relationships with avoidant men. He discusses the core fears that drive avoidance and provides actionable tips for shifting the dynamics so they pursue you instead. The conversation explores the emotional triggers that inspire commitment and common pitfalls women encounter. Adam emphasizes the importance of open communication, visualizing healthy relationships, and fostering emotional intimacy to create lasting bonds.
Understanding the psychology of avoidant attachment is essential to effectively engage and build connections with avoidant partners.
Creating emotional safety through open communication can significantly enhance relationships, allowing both partners to express their needs and feelings.
Reframing commitments as cooperative ventures fosters deeper connections and personal growth, encouraging mutual support and investment in the relationship.
Deep dives
The Role of Supplements in Self-Care
Enhancing self-care routines with high-quality supplements can offer significant benefits for overall health. Introducing supplements that blend ancient wisdom with modern science can optimize the body’s natural ability to heal. For instance, collagen supplements derived from various food sources promote muscle building, reduce joint discomfort, and improve skin health. Utilizing such products can seamlessly integrate into daily routines, whether mixed into smoothies or coffee, offering convenience in enhancing physical well-being.
Understanding Attachment Styles
Exploring attachment styles is crucial to comprehending relationship dynamics. Individuals may exhibit anxious or avoidant attachment styles stemming from their early experiences, impacting their adult relationships significantly. Anxiously attached individuals often seek relationships for reassurance, while avoidant individuals may struggle to express emotions due to past trauma. Recognizing these patterns can facilitate deeper communication and connection within relationships, ultimately leading to healthier interactions.
Building Emotional Safety in Relationships
Creating a sense of emotional safety is essential for nurturing relationships, especially with avoidant partners. Open communication about needs and feelings allows both partners to feel heard and understood, reducing anxiety and fostering connection. For instance, reassuring an avoidant partner that their feelings are valid and that it’s acceptable to express needs builds trust and safety. This process often requires patience and consistent efforts to mitigate feelings of overwhelm or fear of vulnerability.
Redefining Relationship Expectations
Redefining what partners expect from one another can facilitate personal growth and mutual satisfaction in relationships. Instead of viewing commitments as burdens or demands, framing them as cooperative ventures can help partners feel more invested. Discussing long-term goals such as family dynamics, emotional support, and financial aspirations creates a shared vision for the relationship. This practice encourages both partners to support each other actively, contributing to a deeper bond and partnership.
Navigating Challenges and Building Trust
Overcoming challenges within a relationship often involves acknowledging past missteps and establishing new boundaries. When one partner has been overly accommodating, it’s essential to address this and set clearer expectations moving forward. For instance, laying out specific needs and how both partners can meet them creates accountability and trust. Ultimately, when a couple can navigate difficult conversations with respect and empathy, they pave the way for a stronger, more resilient relationship.
Why do avoidant men run from intimacy, and how can you get them to bond without chasing? In this powerful conversation, Adam Lane Smith breaks down the core fears driving avoidant attachment styles and shares actionable tips to flip the script — so he starts chasing you. We talk about the emotional triggers that make men commit, the biggest mistakes women make when dating avoidants, and how to create deep, lasting bonds (without sacrificing your self-worth).
💖 If you've ever wondered, "Why won't he commit?" — this one's for you.
In this episode:
The psychology behind avoidant attachment
How to stop chasing and make him pursue you
Emotional intimacy hacks that deepen connection
The key to turning avoidance into obsession
🎧 Tune in now to Being Her — and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review!